


being alive

by piedpiperwriter



Category: Warrior Nun (TV)
Genre: ALSO this is kinda a slow burn so like. enjoy the ride its gna be WILD, F/F, M/M, and a lot of emotions and trauma, and enjoy. obviously, and mentions/descriptions of death, basically have an open mind, bc thats what im aiming to do with it, i dont know, im proud of these ocs i hope you like my babies as much as i do, it's worth it tho, obviously its gna center bea/ava but thats not gna be the only content, oh and bea's last name is edwards now. that's law, ok i think thats all of them, repeating for clarity: this is my take on the ENTIRETY of s2, so approach with caution, so treat this like a normal 22 ep tv show, there is. a lot of crying, there will be mentions and descriptions of homophobia and violence, theres technically major character death in more ways than one but also not at all?, this fic was entirely inspired by stephen sondheim's brilliant wrinkly brain, what a laundry list. sheesh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-12
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:13:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 68,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26975689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piedpiperwriter/pseuds/piedpiperwriter
Summary: Post-Vatican battle. My take on season two.
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva, Sister Lilith/Shotgun Mary (Warrior Nun)
Comments: 148
Kudos: 362





	1. someone to hold you too close, someone to hurt you too deep

**Author's Note:**

> hi! a few things:  
> \- this is my first time going through with writing something of this magnitude and ACTUALLY POSTING IT so i’m a bit nervous  
> \- this first chapter is Beatrice-centric and serves mostly to give backstory of who Beatrice used to be/why she is the way she is now  
> \- because this is a backstory chapter, there are some OC’s  
> \- i know reading plot set-ups can be tedious for some so i really hope this fills necessary background information on our favorite badass sister-warrior  
> \- GRAPHIC CONTENT WARNING: there is a semi-graphic underage (they're both 17) sexual situation in this first chapter (it's consensual but you should be warned if that irks you at all. yes it is essential to the backstory.)  
> \- please feel free to give me any feedback you may have in the comments, leave kudos if you wish, and if you’re interested you can follow me on tumblr @ piedpiperwriter! all of my future fic updates and thoughts will go on there and i’m down to answer any of your questions EDIT: i have uploaded the full chapter schedule!  
> \- Naomi's face claim: LUCY VIVES  
> \- song insps: Broods - Never Gonna Change, Adam Lambert - Welcome to the Show  
> \- without further adieu, enjoy!

It’s not that she doesn’t think about it, it’s that she doesn’t know how to address it. It’s laced with a history of shame and embarrassment, punishment even. Lesbianism within itself isn’t an issue, it’s the associations Beatrice has with it that have branded being gay as sinful.

She didn’t always used to feel this way about herself, her attraction. It used to not have a word, it used to simply be love or affection- holding a friend’s hand, giving a friend a jacket when it's cold, wiping a friend’s tears when they cry. As Beatrice grew older she couldn’t help but take the words of her peers and parents to heart.

_“Homosexuality is sinful under the eyes of God. It subverts God’s will and divine pairing: one man and one woman.”_

_“You’re not a dyke, are you? That’s disgusting.”_

_“Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is an abomination.”_

An abomination.

Is that what she was?

Were the feelings of care and protection over her friends and crushes so unclean, so dirty, even in her adolescence?

Beatrice didn’t question it; in fact, she internalized it. She sought to excel at every aspect of her academic and athletic life, adamant in the belief that the more glowing her achievements, the less likely people would put her character under a microscope. Captain of the winter fencing team and star spring swimmer, student body president, on track to be valedictorian of her high school class- an exemplar of the Catholic faith, despite her academy having secular leanings. Anything to divert any sort of question or doubt of her character or affinities, Beatrice committed herself to it. Anything to repress and distract herself from the part of her she was determined to lock away.

And then Naomi Alvarez happened.

It was the quirky smile, wasn’t it?

Eyes sparkling, a voice of a foreign exchange student that carried a warmth that was unknown to Beatrice during her upbringing in London. She didn’t have the same sharp, snobby personality as the other girls in Beatrice’s class; she was kind, open; laid back. She moved with the same flow and ease as the wind, her accent reminiscent of those Beatrice recalled from her family’s holidays to Miami; uniquely American. She was unlike anything Beatrice had ever experienced before.

It was terrifying.

Beatrice could feel her carefully crafted composure come undone thread by thread each additional moment spent in Naomi’s presence over the following months: during lunch period, during walks around campus, at Beatrice’s home. Of course, Naomi found Beatrice fascinating over the time she took to get to know her, playfully probing her with questions about how she manages to balance academics, extracurriculars, and a social life.

_{4 years ago}_

_“I don’t see the need for a social life outside of the academy walls. I have plenty of interactions with people my age during my weeks here, and frankly, some days it feels to be too much.” Beatrice replied._

_Naomi chuckled, shaking her head slightly, “Sounds like I won’t be able to convince you to come to Bonfire night, then. Charles and Ethan are putting on quite the party and I’d love for you to join me- but if you insist, I’ll just have to find someone else to entertain myself with.”_

_Beatrice’s hand stalled upon hearing the hosts’ names, her heart rate picking up._

_“Charles and Ethan? The two year thirteen boys rumored to be-”_

_“Gay?” Naomi proposed, one eyebrow slightly cocked, “Yeah, those two.” she rested her head on her fist, a faint smirk gracing her features, “Is that a problem?”_

_Beatrice blinked, her mouth suddenly dry. She peeked at Naomi through the mirror on the vanity, reading her relaxed, confident position- a rush of heat coloring her ears red._

_She shook her head gently, “No, not at all.”_

_Naomi’s smirk widened into a smile, her eyes shimmering from the fairy lights around the room._

_“It’s a date, then.”_

_~_

_November 5th was a particularly chilly night, even more so for Beatrice, all things considered._

_Three weeks ago she was frozen in her own bedroom under an invitation for this night, and the very person who insisted on her attendance is currently covering the cab charge for the both of them, despite Beatrice’s insistence._

_Naomi bid the driver a good night and sauntered over to Beatrice’s side. She was clad in tight jeans, leather boots, and a hoodie that looked at least two sizes too big. It was a welcome contrast to her normal academy uniform, all starched and pressed._

_Beatrice, in her mess of nerves, underdressed just enough to let the windchill go through her cashmere sweater. Her shivering did not go unnoticed, and Naomi snaked her arm around Beatrice’s waist._

_“Chilly?” she asked, a hint of humor in her voice._

_Beatrice nodded, swallowing down any potential tongue ties from the way Naomi was touching her, “Yes, I suppose I didn’t think this outfit through enough.” she replied with a breathy laugh._

_Naomi chuckled, gently pulling Beatrice closer to her side._

_“Don’t worry, I’ll keep you close tonight.”_

_~_

_A couple hours passed of more touches, alcohol, and fireworks._

_While some of the party guests lit the sky alight, Beatrice and Naomi settled around the fire, ale in hand. Naomi laid back into the large hammock they occupied and took a swig, sparkling eyes settling on Beatrice beside her._

_Beatrice turned to glance at Naomi, but found her vision fixed on the girl before her. Exposed, relaxed, soaking in the calm and chaotic energy of their classmates, not a single worry etched into her features, opposing feelings apparent on her lips._

_“What is it?” Beatrice asked._

_Naomi sluggishly shook her head and smiled lightly, “Nothing.”_

_Beatrice felt the corners of her mouth twitch before turning back to the fire._

_Naomi hummed and sat up, “No, something.”_

_Beatrice turned to look at her, eyes asking._

_Naomi examined her features, “Your freckles are like specks of gold in the firelight,” she paused, turning her head slightly, “... and your eyes are like the embers that melted the ore.”_

_Beatrice felt the air thicken between them, and Naomi’s lidded eyes flicked to Beatrice’s lips and back, leaning in._

_It was a featherlight touch, and Beatrice hadn’t realized she was holding her breath until Naomi pulled away._

_For a moment they just breathed, taking in each other’s breath and the fire smoke. Beatrice’s thoughts kicked in, and her breath hitched._

_“Someone will see us.” she whispered, eyes widening at her own realization, but Naomi shook her head._

_“This place is safe, Charles and Ethan wouldn’t do that to themselves or anyone else,” she whispered back, slowly reaching up to brush a strand of Beatrice’s hair behind her ear, “Do you trust me?”_

_It was nearly inaudible in their environment, yet Beatrice nodded into Naomi’s touch as they leaned back in the hammock._

_This time, Naomi wrapped her other arm around Beatrice’s waist, pulling their bodies flush as their kiss deepened. It was slow and gentle, Naomi’s hold on Beatrice secure, safe. Beatrice picked up on the familiar scent of patchouli and sandalwood that always seemed to linger on Naomi’s skin._

_She felt warm, her nerve endings extra sensitive to every move, breath, squeeze, or shift. Naomi’s hand slid lower, traveling down Beatrice’s side down to her thigh, hand hooking behind her knee, pulling her leg across her own._

_The new position earned a gasp from Beatrice, who immediately placed a hand on Naomi’s chest, pushing enough to communicate a pause._

_“W-we have to stop,” she whispered, her forehead pressed to Naomi’s, her hand feeling the increased rate of Naomi’s heart, “I can’t- My faith- I made a promise to-”_

_“Hey, breathe, it's okay. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” Naomi responded, releasing Beatrice’s leg from her grasp and reaching up to soothe the worry lines forming on Beatrice’s face, “We can stop. Do you want to just relax here?” she asked, her opposing hand tracing patterns on Beatrice’s clothed back._

_Beatrice looked between both of Naomi’s eyes and nodded, “Yes, I’d like that.”_

_Naomi smiled and stretched to place a soft kiss on Beatrice’s forehead, “Alright. I’ll set an alarm for when we should head back.”_

_Beatrice settled her head onto Naomi’s chest as she fiddled with her phone, nodding against the steady beat beneath her ear, a smile gracing her lips, “Sounds good to me.”_

_~_

_It was midnight when Naomi’s phone alarm sounded, waking Beatrice from a shallow sleep. She blinked herself awake, trying not to move too much as she looked up at Naomi, who was already awake, looking at her with an emotion Beatrice couldn’t quite place. Beatrice smiled regardless._

_“Hello.”_

_“Hey there.” Naomi smiled back before her eyes moved to a destination beyond Beatrice._

_Beatrice turned slightly, shifting the hammock enough to see that Naomi was watching none other than Charles and Ethan._

_Charles is reclined back on an old sofa- which is specifically used for outdoor parties- one hand grasping a polaroid and the other threaded through Ethan’s dark curls, his thumb idly swiping back and forth on Ethan’s temple. Ethan is lying on top of Charles, his hands along the length of Charles’ torso, his head resting on Charles’ chest, their legs tangled. The fire and shadows dance across their bodies in the late night hour._

_Charles shifts his gaze enough to catch the girls staring at them; he smiles, his eyes crinkling at the corners, serene- albeit drunk, but serene._

_“Enjoy the party, ladies?” he asked softly, so as not to disturb his companion._

_Beatrice half smiled and nodded, “I did, thank you.”_

_Naomi nodded in kind, “What she said.”_

_Charles’ smile grew and he nodded softly, “Good, I’m glad.” he responded, holding up the polaroid, “Mind?”_

_Naomi looked at Beatrice in question, who nodded her approval as she laid her head back down on Naomi’s chest, her hand settled on her stomach. Naomi hugged her shoulders, turning her head to rest on top of Beatrice’s and facing Charles._

_Charles grinned and snapped a picture of them, the camera whirring as the little photograph printed. He took the photograph and shook it gently so as not to disturb Ethan, observing the oncoming image._

_“It’s good, you’ll like it.” he tells them, placing the polaroid down and giving half of his attention to the picture as his other half was still devoted to Ethan._

_Beatrice paused, shifting more onto her back so she could rest her head on Naomi’s shoulder and face Charles._

_“How do you handle it?” she asked quietly._

_Charles tipped his head to the side slightly, “Handle what, darling?”_

_Beatrice exhaled, the arm around her shoulders giving a reassuring squeeze, already feeling her eyes betray her, “The looks… the talks. The gossip.”_

_Charles blinked and looked down at Ethan, still slumbering against his chest, undisturbed. He smiled sadly._

_“When you find a love that you know, in your bones, is a once in a lifetime experience, you tend to let people carry on as they do,” he looked back at Beatrice, emotion swimming in his eyes, “even if it could harm you, because you know that you’ve found your true love. Knowing that I have him, knowing that I love him, makes me resilient to even the most venomous of words or the sharpest of stares. Their sneers don’t matter to me, only he does.”_

_Beatrice’s breath caught in her throat at his declaration, tears on the brink of falling. She closes her eyes and lets them, turning into Naomi’s chest as Naomi’s arms embrace her. Naomi’s hands rub circles on Beatrice’s back, and she looks up at Charles._

_‘Thank you.’ she mouths, continuing to comfort Beatrice as she mumbles something into Naomi’s chest._

_Charles looks between them, “What was that, dear?”_

_Naomi gives him a sad smile, “She said she wishes she had your strength.”_

_Charles’ shiny gaze shifted to the crying girl, moved by the intensity of his love, smiling softly, “You will, dear, you will,” he responded as Ethan shifted on his chest, his hands lightly gripping Charles’ shirt as though he were his anchor in a dream, and Charles allowed a tear of his own to escape, “We all do at some point.”_

_~_

_Naomi had a hook in Beatrice after that night. Every touch or graze on Beatrice’s skin felt like crackling electricity, energetic. Exciting._

_They would steal away into bathrooms or closets when nobody was around, taking the opportunity to indulge in one another._

_Beatrice’s resolve to remain abstinent was slowly wearing thin on account that each kiss Naomi gave her made her increasingly hungry for something more fulfilling, but she knew in her mind that it would go against everything she had learned and cherished thus far in her Catholic faith._

_So she persisted._

_Naomi didn’t push her, she understood how much weight faith carried for Beatrice, how important it was to be connected to God. Her faith served her as much as she served it, giving her prudence and strength, showing her that kindness and love prevail. Naomi wanted anything that happened between them to be Beatrice’s doing- she could occupy herself just fine if she needed._

_One night, though, Beatrice’s resolve cracked._

_Beatrice’s parents were out for a date night, which on average kept them out to 1am at the latest with an 8pm start._

_Beatrice invited Naomi over to study for their Advanced Biology exam, though plans shifted when Naomi gave her a look that was all too mischievous and inviting._

_8:48pm:_

_Naomi was propped up against the pillow-laden headboard of Beatrice’s grand four-post bed, Beatrice herself straddling Naomi’s lap, fingers brushing the nape of her neck. Naomi’s hands were ghosting along Beatrice’s back, one hand situated underneath her sweater, caressing the small of her back, the other between Beatrice’s shoulder blades, holding her close._

_Their kisses were slow but heavy, the air around them growing thick with anticipation. Beatrice let the mood go to her head, her hips rolling forward, earning a groan from Naomi, who placed a hand on Beatrice’s side, stilling her and sitting up more upright._

_“Hey, breathe,” she said, catching her own breath, “Lets slow down a bit.” she added, despite her pupils’ dilation._

_Millions of thoughts ran through Beatrice’s head before one slipped past her lips, “I want-”, she cut herself off, attempting to swallow her nerves as her hands at the base of Naomi’s neck tensed slightly, “I want you to touch me.”_

_Naomi blinked, her eyes widening ever so slightly at the full realization of the request. She squeezed Beatrice’s side lightly, a physical question._

_“Are you sure?” she whispered._

_Beatrice’s thumbs swiped Naomi’s skin absentmindedly; she nodded, “I’m sure.”_

_Naomi’s eyes sparkled, just like a month ago when she asked Beatrice to Bonfire night, and she smiled._

_“Okay.”_

_Their next kiss was deep, engrossing Beatrice in every way imaginable. Every touch Naomi bestowed upon her felt like a glorious burn. It felt real._

_‘How can something so patient, so warm such as this, be sinful?’ she thought._

_Naomi’s hand that was formerly placed to steady Beatrice slid up beneath her oversized sweater, her hand settling just below Beatrice’s breast, knuckles grazing the sensitive skin there._

_‘No bra,’ she thought._

_Beatrice shivered, her hips mimicking her past actions and rolling into Naomi’s._

_“Off,” she said between a kiss, her voice quivering almost imperceptibly. Beatrice needed to feel Naomi’s fingertips on her skin, unhindered by the binds of her sleepwear. Naomi’s hands made quick work of the sweater, pulling it over and off. She froze for a moment, her hands hovering at Beatrice’s sides, taking in the sight of her nude form. No bra, no makeup, hair falling down her shoulders like cascading satin. Unreal, yet here in front of her, on top of her, asking her._

_Beautiful._

_Beatrice cupped Naomi’s cheek, pulling her gaze up to match her own, “Are you alright?” she breathed._

_Naomi exhaled, her lips quirked up slightly, “I should be asking you that,” she replied, hands settling on the smooth expanse of Beatrice’s back, “You’re gorgeous.”_

_Beatrice released a shaky breath, grabbing the hem of Naomi’s shirt in question and lifting upward when met with a nod. Once discarded, she leaned in to capture Naomi’s lips in a fiery kiss, Naomi pulling Beatrice flush against her now bare abdomen; where Naomi’s breasts pressed against her, goosebumps formed._

_Beatrice’s eyes squeezed shut as Naomi palmed one of her breasts, brushing her taut nipple with her thumb. Beatrice groaned, hips rolling to meet Naomi’s again. Her hands moved to grasp Beatrice’s thighs as she sat up, switching their positions and lowering Beatrice down to the bed.  
_

_Beatrice, now lying underneath, let her hands wander across Naomi’s back, feeling the small yet sinewy muscles contract and relax through every movement._

_Naomi’s hold behind one of Beatrice’s knees loosened as her hand shifted downward, reaching Beatrice’s ass. She squeezed the flesh there as she bucked her hips into her, groaning at the long-awaited friction. Naomi took hold of Beatrice’s bottom lip, opening her eyes to watch her reaction as she released it with a subtle pop._

_The air tensed as they stilled, staring, breathing. Naomi’s head dipped down, her eyes focusing on her own thumbs which had hooked at the waistband of Beatrice’s shorts; her eyes flicked back up to the dark pools watching her every move._

_“May I?” she breathed._

_Beatrice nodded slowly, drawing her own bottom lip between her teeth as Naomi achingly slid her shorts down._

_Naomi sat back, marveling at the body before her. Subtle muscular definition in Beatrice’s stomach and legs from swimming and fencing, soft curves at her hips; her hair splayed out on the surface of the bed like a halo. Arms lazily posed above her tilted head, Beatrice’s eyes drank in the sight of Naomi’s lean body with the same intensity as Naomi viewed her own._

_The heady scent of Beatrice’s desire flooded Naomi’s senses, her eyes closing as she breathed in what was irrevocably Beatrice. Her head swam as she looked back down at her, eyes filled with a hunger that she felt coursing through her veins like a drug, relieving her of any anxiety she may have previously had._

_Naomi dove forward and caught Beatrice’s lips with a ferocity she didn’t know she possessed, hands suddenly everywhere; touching, searching, exploring._

_Beatrice’s heart hammered in her chest, her pulse reverberating through her whole body, settling deep within her core. Direct exposure to open air made her more sensitive than she thought possible, every twitch of Naomi’s hips against her own- despite their unequally clothed state- setting her whole body ablaze again, and again, and again._

_Beatrice succumbed to her most natural of desires as Naomi’s hand slid impossibly lower, lower, her fingertips eventually grazing the mound at the apex of Beatrice’s legs._

_Beatrice threw her head back, hands grasping at Naomi’s neck, shoulders, back, arms- anywhere and everywhere._

_‘If this is what the fires of Hell feel like, let me **burn**.’_

_~_

_12:03 am:_

_Beatrice didn’t recall retrieving her sweater, nor did she recall falling asleep against Naomi’s bare chest, legs curled between one another, Naomi’s arms wrapped around her frame, protective._

_Safe._

_She also didn’t recall hearing her parents arriving home._

_Half awake, Beatrice heard the familiar sound of her father’s dress shoes stepping along the hardwood, her eyes widening at the realization of the direction he was heading as the steps got louder._

_She sat up swiftly, jostling Naomi anxiously._

_“Naomi, wake up. Wake up, my parents are home.” she whispered hastily, handing a groggy girl her previously discarded t-shirt._

_Tap. Tap._

_Naomi sat up quickly, blinking rapidly as to correct her sleep-hazed vision, holding her crumpled t-shirt against her bare chest, “What-?”_

_The door crept open._

_Tap._

_“Beatrice, darling?”_

_Beatrice’s heart hammered, her stomach dropped as her father’s gaze shifted from loving inquiry to horror._

_The door pushed open, Mr. Edwards’ eyes widened at the scene before him as he slowly stepped into the room._

_Tap._

_Tap._

_“Father, it’s not what it looks-”_

_“You,” Phillip said, hand trembling with a combination of rage and embarrassment as he pointed at Naomi, “have two minutes to gather your things and leave this house. If I ever catch you here again I will contact the dean and have you expelled.”_

_“Mr. Edwards I can ex-”_

_“And you,” he said, his steely gaze shifting to Beatrice, “are to be in my study in the same two minutes.”_

_Beatrice froze, terror apparent on her face as her father turned and left the room without another word, leaving the door ajar._

_She could hear her parents conversing down the long hallway outside her door in harsh whispers as her breaths became erratic, her eyes filling with tears._

_“I’m-m so sorry, I- I-” she stuttered, shaking her head as she stepped off the bed, relocating her shorts. Her sweater became stained with each fallen tear while Naomi collected her belongings, “I lost track of time, I- I didn’t set an alarm, I’m so-” she gasped, a sob wracking her body as Naomi’s hands reached to caress her distressed face, her composure too confident, too strong in the midst of what just transpired._

_“Listen to me, okay? You did nothing wrong- we did nothing wrong. We’ll figure this out, okay? We’ll figure this out together.” she declared in a hushed tone, dashing in to give Beatrice a reassuring kiss before fixing her with a gaze packed with too many emotions to describe._

_Beatrice shook her head, grasping Naomi’s forearm with her trembling hand, “How?” she breathed._

_Naomi cracked a sad half smile and stroked away the tears falling from Beatrice’s beautiful wide eyes._

_“Because love always finds a way.”_

_Beatrice choked on the next sob, pulling Naomi into a tight embrace, leaving desperate kisses on her neck, jaw, lips, the salt from her tears invading her sweet affection._

_“One minute!”_

_Mr. Edwards bellowed coldly from the first floor, the acoustics of the wood paneling making his human voice sound like a monstrous roar; Beatrice tensed, her tears falling harder as she gripped Naomi tighter._

_Naomi ran her thumb across Beatrice’s bottom lip as tears formed in her own eyes, “I’ll see you soon, okay? Promise me.”_

_Beatrice nodded hastily, choking back a whimper, “I promise,” she managed, a sharp exhale following, “I love you.”_

_Naomi grasped the back of Beatrice’s head and smiled at her, tears on the verge now free falling as she closed her eyes and pressed a firm kiss to Beatrice’s forehead in farewell._

_“I love you.”_

_~_

_Tap. Tap._

_Tap. Tap._

_“Phillip, dear, don’t you think-”_

_“Claudia.”_

_Mr. Edwards flashed his wife a warning look before fixing his eyes back onto his daughter as he slowly paced back and forth across the study floor._

_Beatrice was sitting too upright in the velvet lined cherry wood chair, her head bowed and her hands folded- her face red from tears shed but expression otherwise neutral._

_“Do you have any idea what you’ve just done, Beatrice?” Mr. Edwards asked, an inherent edge to his voice._

_Beatrice nodded once, “I have an idea of what, father.”_

_“And what is that, daughter?”_

_Beatrice bristled at the venom laced enunciation of the formal address, shifting slightly in her seat, “I’ve committed a sin.”_

_Mr. Edwards nodded, a condescending look crossed his face, “What- specifically- was that sin, Beatrice?”_

_Beatrice’s hands twitched as the word dug its way up from the recesses of her mind, clawing at her. Something that had only been uttered in disgust or anger, spit out of the mouths of those seeking to cause harm. A word- a mere descriptor- tainted by the people who hate it most crept up Beatrice’s throat onto the tip of her tongue like bile._

_“Homosexuality.”_

_Mr. Edwards slapped his desk, the rings on his fingers causing the noise to be extra jarring- Beatrice flinched._

_“That’s right, Beatrice. Can you tell me what this could mean should word get out about your,” Phillip paused, a scowl briefly settling on his lips, “transgressions?”_

_Beatrice risked a glance at her mother, looking for any form of reassurance or support; she was met with the image of her mother with her head down, eyes fixed on the floor, hands clasped behind her back. Silent. Passive._

_Beatrice swallowed the lump in her throat, “Bad publicity, a stain on our family name.”_

_Mr. Edwards nodded slowly, “Precisely, my dear,” he responded, walking closer to his daughter and stopping short a few feet, “Look at me.”_

_Beatrice looked up slowly, eyes red from the strain of crying, the corners of her mouth downturned, waiting._

_“Tonight,” Phillip said, punctuated with a finger pointed to the ground, “cannot be repeated. It will not be discussed past these office walls. Am I understood?”_

_Beatrice nodded._

_“Nowhere, with no one, will you speak of this. If the rumor mill gets ahold of this-”_

_“It won’t.”_

_Phillip fixed his daughter with a sharp look, “-and it makes its way to the press, we will never recover. Furthermore,” he continued, resuming his previous slow pacing, “due to your actions, I have decided to look into other schools for you to attend the remainder of your twelfth year as well as your thirteenth year- a Catholic boarding school.”_

_Beatrice felt as though her spirit left her body, fully aware that her face dropped- any shred of composure she attempted to maintain fell away._

_“I’ve been hearing good things about College et Lycee Saint-Charles, Porrentruy is supposed to be a beautiful location.” he added all too sweetly, the poison dripping off of his words like toxic sugar syrup._

_Beatrice’s eyes searched her father’s face, finding nothing but scrutiny, “You want to send me to Switzerland?” she whispered shakily, devastation clear in her voice. She turned to her mother, pleading, “Mother?”_

_Claudia Edwards looked up at her daughter, her eyes nearly overflowing with tears, feeling as though she had a knife in her chest, “We only want what is best for you, darling.”_

_Beatrice ripped her eyes away from her mother, gaze now cast down to the floor as her hand cupped her mouth in shock. This cannot be happening._

_Phillip tapped his foot once, turning slightly away from his daughter to lean against his desk, “Your mother is right, Beatrice. We only want you to be successful, garner a good reputation- to foster a strong relationship with God, not sin.”_

_Beatrice squeezed her eyes shut, the room suddenly too small for three people. She let out a shaky breath before looking up at her father, “This didn’t feel like sin.” she whispered, scraping up any remaining courage from Naomi’s recent presence, “This felt so much more divine than anything I’ve ever known. It feels holy.”_

_She didn’t care if that was blasphemous: it was the truth. God be damned before she lied about her love._

_Claudia’s hand swiftly covered her mouth as her opposing arm wrapped around her middle, turning away from Beatrice._

_Phillip closed his eyes and gripped the lip of his desk tighter, knuckles nearly white as he dropped his head and took a slow breath, uncrossing his feet to stand upright._

_“I will begin the research process starting tomorrow morning. You will have until the end of the semester to say your goodbyes to your classmates and teachers, as well as prepare yourself for your move. You are not to see that girl again.”_

_Beatrice’s eyes widened, “The semester ends in a week.” she stated, voice trembling as reality set in all too harshly. The only response her father gave was a shrug._

_Beatrice whimpered, feeling another sob bubbling up from her hollow chest. She dipped her head down, managing one final request, “May I please go to bed now?”_

_Phillip stared at his daughter before nodding once, and Beatrice fled from the study, slamming her door shut, locked._

_She leaned against the heavy oak, sliding down to the floor, and cried. For how long, she wasn’t sure._

_She cried for her parents, ashamed of herself despite what she felt in her heart._

_She cried for Naomi, ashamed of herself for not being stronger._

_Most of all, she cried for herself. For her authenticity that had been so fatally wounded._

_She got up shakily and padded over to the bed, lifting up the covers to burrow into the sheets that still smelled like her lover._

_She doesn’t know when she falls asleep._

_~_

_It had been six days since that eventful night, and Beatrice threw herself into her final week at the academy._

_Each day was either filled with studying for or taking final exams or honing her fencing skills._

_She managed to avoid any close encounters with Naomi, feeling as though eyes were watching her everywhere- as though God and her parents were voyeurs within her own mind, all seeing, omniscient._

_That fear only grew when Naomi found her in one of the less traveled restrooms on campus, locking the door behind her._

_Naomi turned, sadness etched onto her face._

_“Hey.”_

_Beatrice froze, her throat tight. She had been so careful to keep her distance from this girl who turned her world upside down; now she’s a few feet away and it feels like a thousand miles._

_Beatrice braced herself against the sink, knowing that she is one word away from falling apart._

_“Hello.”_

_“Can we talk?”_

_Beatrice’s hands went clammy, her mouth dry. She attempted to respond but all that came out was a choked whine. Her eyes began to well with tears, her breathing becoming irregular. She let out a pained sob._

_Naomi strode over to hear, gently ushering her shaking form into her arms._

_Beatrice grasped at her blazer, wishing it were that too-large hoodie she wore to Charles and Ethan’s get together, wishing she could go back and live in that moment forever. Her tears stained the woolen fabric, squeezing her tight._

_“They’re sending me away.”_

_Naomi tensed momentarily, her hand on Beatrice’s back stilling._

_“What?”_

_Beatrice exhaled shakily, pulling back to look Naomi in the eyes, smiling bitterly, “My parents are making arrangements to send me to a Catholic secondary school in Switzerland. I’ll finish the second half of my twelfth and thirteenth year there.”_

_Naomi’s hands loosened, her face falling at the news, “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”_

_Beatrice tilted her head to the side and gave a sad laugh, “How do I even begin to tell someone that I love that I’ll never see them again?” she responded, one hand coming up to cup Naomi’s cheek._

_Naomi just stared, unblinking, eyes shifting between Beatrice’s, “The semester ends tomorrow.” she breathed._

_Beatrice’s chin quivered, she nodded, “I know.” she whispered._

_Naomi exhaled and turned into Beatrice’s touch, lips grazing a gentle kiss onto her palm._

_Beatrice leaned forward, inviting Naomi closer._

_Naomi took it._

_The kiss was melancholy as they held each other close, Beatrice needing to feel Naomi against her one last time. Their tears mingled on their lips, whispers of sweet nothings passing between them in the isolation of the tile room they’ve exclusively occupied._

_It was a bittersweet shared moment as they breathed each other in, exchanging warmth, air, love._

_“This is the last time I can see you.”_

_Naomi pulled back just enough to see Beatrice’s full face, cheeks and eyes red with crying strain, eyebrows knit together, “Why is that?” she asked gently, brushing a strand of hair behind Beatrice’s ear, thumb stroking her cheek._

_Beatrice closed her eyes and took a steadying breath, “Because seeing you and being incapable of having you is too much to bear.”_

_Naomi looked between Beatrice’s eyes and leaned her forehead against her own, taking a deep breath, “I want you to have something.”_

_Beatrice nodded faintly as Naomi reached into her bookbag, pulling out a photograph. Beatrice exhaled harshly, begging herself to stay composed._

_“The one that Charles took of us on Bonfire night.” Naomi said softly, examining the picture and smiling sadly, reminiscing. She placed the photograph into Beatrice’s open palm, but Beatrice hesitated._

_“I have nothing to give you- what will you have to remember me- us- by?”_

_Naomi laughed sadly, the pad of her thumb running across Beatrice’s lips._

_“I’ll always remember you.”_

~

Since the day she left for Switzerland, Beatrice’s entire outlook changed.

Day by day, week by week, she focused less on herself and more on her work, her skills, how much and how often she gave back. She sought out selflessness to make up for her past actions, for giving in to temptation. For causing someone hurt.

She dove head first into her faith, studying passages on love and strength. She channeled God through her everyday actions, praying to Him, asking for guidance, for perseverance. If she can push past the part of herself that only brought her pain, she could make it. If she could put out the ember that thrives on companionship, she could make it.

She could be happy, alone.

When she joined the Order of the Cruciform Sword, fencing and swimming turned into weapons & combat training, aikido being an 'extracurricular' to add to her skillset. She honed in on her strategic skills, applying aspects of fencing to combat, how and when to predict her opponent's move. Her intense focus and determination during the first two years earned her the attention of Mother Superion and Father Vincent, who gave her the acting role of OCS mission strategist.

The responsibility of planning out seamless operations weighed heavily on Beatrice’s shoulders- it wasn’t just her life on the line, it was her sisters’ lives, the OCS sect itself.

She was a brilliant strategist, guiding her sister-warriors through artifact rescue missions without issue, her focus and dedication to her duty a reflection on how much she placed others before herself, embodying the mirror image of a perfect sister-warrior. This pattern repeated, mission after mission; Beatrice plans and guides, Shannon leads, Mary follows.

One night, though, could not have been planned any other way, nor could fate be avoided when Shannon took a fatal amount of divinium shards through her armor.

The team of sister-warriors managed to get Shannon to a safe location inside a nearby church, but the damage had been done. The shrapnel couldn’t be removed without risking injury to her other organs. Despite Mary’s teary protest, the priest and accompanying nun proceeded to remove the halo from Shannon’s back, quickly ending her suffering.

Beatrice watched as her leader- her friend- died before her eyes, and she watched as it destroyed Mary.

Mary, who clutched Shannon to her in her final minutes; Mary, who pleaded for any other intervention to potentially save both Shannon and the halo; Mary, who let all too silent tears fall as she watched Shannon leave their shared realm. Mary, who would have thrown herself into oncoming danger to protect Shannon.

Beatrice knew that they were closer than friends- all of the sister-warriors knew. They all saw Mary clutch the pendant Shannon wore until her knuckles turned light and her fingernails cut into her skin. They saw the plethora of emotions swimming in Mary’s eyes as her companion left her side.

Beatrice knew that when Mary didn’t show up around Cat’s Cradle the month following Shannon’s death that a part of Mary died with her.

~

Beatrice wasn’t sure of what exactly happened the minutes following the Vatican’s explosion. All she was able to decipher was being overrun with wraiths, Mary being dog-piled by possessed citizens, and Adriel at the center of the chaos.

She remembers fighting off the possessed; she remembers Lilith’s eyes glowing hellfire red and the glint of her claws; she remembers Camila rapid firing into the crowd out of panic; she remembers the bright glow of a curved divinium dagger out of the corner of her eye, assumedly aiming right for her.

She remembers hearing a yell; a body floating above her; a light so blinding that no shadow could escape.

She remembers silence.

A wind whistling through the rubble of the pillars that once stood; shattered street lamps; the moon dimly illuminating the scene before her.

Camila groaned, pushing herself up from the ground onto her hands and knees. Lilith awakening with a wince with Mary strewn over her legs, clothing ripped and sliced from the battle prior.

Someone was missing.

Beatrice’s eyes strained under the light of the moon, searching for a small body and golden hair.

There, under the rubble, a hand.

Beatrice limped over to the pile of shattered stone and began uncovering the body, recognizing the material of the armor underneath. She turned to Camila, who had since managed to stand upright.

“Help me.” she rasped, her usual level-headed demeanor not coming through under current circumstances. Camila ran over, discarding the chunks of rock on her side. Quickly, the body became whole and Beatrice’s anxiety spiked.

“Ava,” she whispered desperately, grasping her by the shoulders, “Ava please wake up.”

Her voice shook and Camila placed a hand on her arm. Beatrice looked up at Camila, turning to Mary and Lilith who were now standing.

Lilith’s right arm is slung over Mary’s shoulders, left leg bloody with a gash that was almost surprisingly grotesque. Mary, who is currently supporting Lilith’s weight, is nursing an injured right arm, her left arm wrapped around Lilith’s waist to keep her steady.

Beatrice swallowed and looked back at Ava, who, aside from a particularly nasty cut on her forehead, looks otherwise untouched.

Except she’s not moving.

“Ava, are you there? Please say something to me.” Beatrice asked louder, glancing over to Camila, “Help me pick her up.”

Camila nodded, positioning her hands at two points on Ava’s arm just like Beatrice, and pulling. They both drape their designated arm over their shoulders, each wrapping their own arms around Ava’s middle to keep her as upright as possible.

Beatrice internally instructs herself to stay composed, her jaw clenched, as she turns to Mary.

“We have to get her to the van.”

~

That was three hours ago.

As soon as they were all inside, Mary took off, destination unknown. Camila was in the passenger’s seat researching any hole-in-the-wall road-stops or hideouts on the OCS tablet, having yet to speak at all. Lilith was seated against the passenger’s-side door, her uninjured leg bent to allow her elbow a place to rest as she watched, hour by hour, her flesh knit back together via little embers.

Beatrice was seated against the driver’s-side door, legs splayed out in front of her, Ava’s head laid across her lap.

She hasn’t moved from when she first got in the van, afraid that jostling Ava’s unconscious body could cause any additional damage after the structural collapse she already endured. She can feel Ava’s heartbeat through her chest, so she knows she’s alive; that box is checked. She knows Ava’s safe, here, with her- her sisters; that box is checked too. What she doesn’t know is why Ava’s head injury wasn’t healing.

What she doesn’t know is why Ava wasn’t waking up.

She didn’t dare verbalize any concerns out loud, she didn’t want to invite any of those thoughts to come to fruition. So she stayed silent, lost in thought as she stared down at Ava’s relaxed features, one hand resting featherlight against Ava’s hair, the other placed carefully on top of her heart.

She thought about loss; lost opportunities, lost people, good and bad.

She thought about the loss of Vincent, how they all felt used and betrayed by his lies and false promises.

She thought back to the loss of Shannon, how she watched as Mary lost a part of herself.

She thought about her own losses.

She thought about the lost opportunity for a normal life, how she could be finishing college if she wished, hanging out with friends and meeting new people, unaffected by the divine and supernatural.

She thought about the loss of her parents’ trust after that one fateful night.

She thought about her first love, so alight with hope and happiness that her soul felt like a roaring fire.

She thought about how that fire was reduced to ash in mere seconds, eliminating the fervent light that used to be so alive within her.

What she didn’t dare think about was the ever-growing possibility that there could be a glowing ember underneath the ashes of all she’s lost.

She didn’t think about that ember, splayed out on top of her and unconscious, bearing the halo.


	2. someone to sit in your chair, to ruin your sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (i scratched playlists so now you get songs i looped in order of scene progression kjkdjsdk)  
> \- song insps: Imagine Dragons - The Unknown, Boyce Avenue - You're Beautiful (you'll know when)  
> \- i've uploaded ALL character face claims (original cast & personal OC) to my tumblr @ piedpiperwriter so go check them out!  
> \- remember to drop a kudos or leave a comment or both at the end!  
> \- pls enjoy this was a fun one :)

The last thing Ava can remember is the world turning white, then everything around her falling away into darkness.

She remembers freezing in place amidst the chaos.

She remembers a flash of blue glowing in a clenched fist.

She remembers the halo’s energy surging, similar to the time when-

  
  


Oh. Right.

  
  


She remembers watching the raised glowing blade arc upwards, its path a downward trajectory directly into Beatrice’s upper back.

She remembers her eyes widening as she reached toward Beatrice, a scream ripping through her throat, her lungs contracting so hard that she thought she would keel over.

She remembers being lifted up by an unseen force, a pressure rapidly building within her so intense she thought she was being split apart.

She remembers white hot beams nearly tearing through her body as an explosion followed, drowning the Vatican square in a blinding light as she was thrown back into the structures collapsing around her.

  
  
  


After that, nothing. 

No ears ringing, no body aching, no pain- nothing. Just silence and darkness.

And cold. Ava was cold.

Why was she so cold?

_ ‘Obviously I passed out. Or got knocked out. Or something. A blast like that definitely drained the halo.’ _

_ ‘Oh god, am I dead?’ _

_ ‘No, I can’t be, I’m talking to myself right now. I’m fine.’ _

  
  
  


_ ‘Yeah, that definitely doesn’t sound crazy.’ _

_ ‘Oh my god, what if I  _ am _ dead and I’m like a ghost or something? Is that actually possible? Did the church actually get that part right?’ _

  
  


_ ‘I have decided that I am  _ not  _ fine.’ _

Ava took a deep breath- or what she imagines that would be like in her current state- to steady her mind.

_ ‘Okay, if I’m a ghost I should be able to, like, move, right? Like as a smoky, shadowy-looking thing…?’ _

Ava attempted to think about her arms and legs, not able to see or feel anything. At all. She couldn’t tell if her eyes were open and she was in a pitch black… somewhere, or if her eyes were closed. 

_ ‘Okay stop. Go back. If I’m dead, and I’m having thoughts, I have to be a ghost, right? So I wouldn’t be able to feel anything at all. Because I have no actual body…? This is so weird.’ _

Ava paused.

_ ‘... But if I’m not dead, I’d just be unconscious or something. I think. And if I can think I can force myself to wake up! Okay, wake up in three, two… _

_ … one!’ _

  
  


She waited.

  
  
  
  


She waited some more.

  
  
  


Ava sighed- well, kind of- to herself. 

_ ‘Come on, Ava. You got this. You’re a goddamn warrior nun. You can pull yourself out of this. Okay, again: three, two… one!’ _

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ ‘Oh for fuck’s sake-’ _

Ava felt a jolt as her spirit was hurled forward onto the cold floor.

  
  


~

  
  


Mary didn’t see the fox run out into the road until her headlight beams settled on the animal. She slammed on the breaks, the van skidding to a halt. Backseat passengers slid into the partition between the front two seats and the open space, jostling them from their spaced-out or exhausted states with the sudden, jarring halt.

Including Ava.

Camila white-knuckled the armrest as her whole body stiffened, her eyes wide, “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.” she breathed, closing her eyes to regain her composure.

Mary turned to look at the newer sister-warrior, amused to hear those as the first words Camila has spoken in hours, “Welcome back.” she said, holding back a laugh, smirking slightly. Camila turned towards her, exhaling a stressed laugh as she shook her head, lips upturning slightly.

Beatrice, however, was not so amused.

“What on earth, Mary?” she said, irritation evident in her tone.

Mary looked at her through the rearview mirror, humor twinkling in her eyes, “There was a fox, I didn’t want to hit it; could’ve compromised the van.” she replied, her tone becoming slightly more reserved, “Is Ava alright? Didn’t get too roughed up?”

Beatrice closed her eyes and pursed her lips slightly, exhaling as she nodded, “I believe so. She rolled into the partition, but aside from that, I think she’s fine,” she replied, eyes flickering with something unreadable as she repositioned Ava back onto her lap, “... well, as fine as she can be right now.”

Mary blinked and shifted her vision forward momentarily, giving a shallow nod. Her eyes settled back into the mirror, this time on Lilith.

“What about you, Lily? Good?” she asked, watching as Lilith met her stare in the mirror.

Lilith nodded, “I’m fine, you just startled me.”

Mary gave her a small smile and turned her eyes back towards the road, the sun still a few hours away from sunrise. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 

_ ‘Ow.’ _

Mary winced at the sharp pain in her side upon inhaling.

_ ‘Great. A bum arm and bruised ribs. Fuckin’ A.’ _

She opened her eyes as she exhaled slowly, turning her head towards Camila. The young nun was staring forward, expression too tired for her age, her eyes distant. Mary cleared her throat gently.

“Find any places where we could bunk for a few days?” she asked, snapping Camila out of her trance-like state. She nodded, swiping around on the brightly lit tablet in her lap, pulling up a small, family-owned hostel in Vieste.

Mary nodded, approving, “ _ Delfina Baia _ , coast town. What’s the population like?”

Camila shook her head, “Small, it’s quiet. My family used to take summer trips there, it’s beautiful,” Camila said, memories of a simpler time popping up in her mind, a small smile on her lips, “But in terms of practicality, it should be safe. I doubt whoever’s looking for us would guess we drove all the way across Italy, and it’s only an hour away.”

Mary exhaled a light laugh, looking back at Beatrice and Lilith through the rearview mirror, “That’s where we’re headed then; everyone alright for another hour?”

They both nodded in response, and Mary released the brakes, accelerating at a steady pace.

Beatrice looked back down at the girl lying in her lap.

_ ‘Please be okay.’ _ she thought, smoothing down Ava’s tousled hair, her fingers whispering against Ava’s cheeks. Sleep pulled at her eyelids, the ache of fatigue seeping into her bones, but she pushed past it; she didn’t want to chance missing Ava should she wake up in her arms.

Lilith briefly observed her from across the van, eyes shifting between Beatrice’s face and hands. The corners of her mouth ticked upward as she averted her gaze to the floor in front of her, then to Mary.

Lilith watched her as she leaned back against the driver’s seat, left hand on the wheel, her head leaning back against the headrest. She watched the bob of her throat as she swallowed, her eyes slowly blinking in the early morning darkness of the van. She looked exhausted, she was hurt, but Lilith knew that underneath the initial irritation and snark there was a woman staving off the pain of loss, who loved her chosen family and would do anything to protect them. Lilith had a brief thought but shook it from her mind as soon as it came.

She looked back to Beatrice, whose opposing hand is back on Ava’s chest, resting over her heart. She looked down at her own hands resting in her lap, stained with the blood of the possessed. Whatever faint warm feeling that had begun blooming in her chest faded as she rested her head against the van door, her eyes closing.

  
  


~

  
  


_ ‘What the  _ fuck _ was that?’ _

Ava lifted herself up off of the floor onto her hands and knees, pushing herself up to a standing position. She brushed off her clothes and placed her hand on her head, which reverberated a dull throb.

Wait.

Her head.

_ ‘My head?’ _

Ava pulled her hand down to look at herself. She looked at her hands, arms, legs, and body with wide eyes. She gave off a transparent bluish gray glow, her body wisping behind her as she moved around.

_ ‘Oh my god. I _ am _ dead.’ _

Ava dropped her hands and stared out into the bleak nothingness of her surroundings, eyebrows knitted together in a combination of fear and anxiety.

_ ‘Fuck.’ _

  
  
  


_ ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck!’ _

_ ‘This cannot be happening. I can’t be dead! I just  _ was _ dead!’ _

  
  


_ ‘Are you there, God? It’s me, Ava. Now please send me back.’ _

  
  
  
  
  


_ ‘Fucking send me back!’ _

Ava panicked, so she did what she does best. She ran.

She sprinted forward at top speed, partially hoping she would hit a wall or a fence or something jarring enough to knock her out of this twisted nightmare.

_ ‘I cannot be dead. I can’t be.’ _

Her sprint slowed to a stop and she dropped down to her knees, crying tears that wouldn’t form, sucking in air that wasn’t there. She let herself grieve, crying until the sobs no longer wracked her spirit. She didn’t know how much time had passed, not that it mattered; time didn’t exist here.

She lied on the cold floor, curled up into herself, until her eyes felt heavy. She forced herself awake, sitting up.

_ ‘Yeah right, like I’m gonna sleep  _ now _.’ _

She sat there for a few moments before standing up and looking around at her not-surroundings.

_ ‘Literally fucking nothing.’ _

Ava decided, since nothing seemed to matter much anymore, to just start… walking. She started in the direction she was facing, not planning to stop at any point. Why would she? There’s fucking nothing here.

  
  


It had only been what felt like a minute before Ava noticed a bizarre change in her body, her pace slowing slightly. 

_ ‘Am I warm?’ _

She shrugged it off, chalking it up to some ‘weird soul prison bullshit’ and kept walking.

After about another minute, she stopped abruptly, distinctly feeling a physical sensation on her… skin?

_ ‘What is that?’ _

She blinked rapidly, holding her- kind of- breath. She inhaled sharply at the next...

_ ‘Is someone touching me?’ _

Ava tried to zero in on what, exactly, she was feeling.

_ ‘Focus, Ava, focus.’ _

  
  
  
  
  


_ ‘Oh.’ _

  
  


She breathed in slowly, blinking in response to the realization.

Hands. Small. Lightly calloused fingertips running down the sides of her face.

Ava squeezed her eyes shut, trying to imagine the familiarity of the physicality and cautious nature of-

  
  
  
  


_ ‘Beatrice.’ _

  
  


Ava felt as though she had just emerged from underwater, taking in full breaths of whatever fake or dead air was around her. A smile burst from her lips, giggles bubbling up from her wispy chest.

_ ‘Oh, Beatrice.’ _

Ava didn’t realize that she could feel this good when dead, but damn, she felt good. Her eyes fluttered closed as she focused on the touch, her own hand coming up to caress her cheek. She held her breath when she felt another sensation, nearly breaking out into another sob.

_ ‘She’s feeling for my heartbeat.’ _

Ava was so overwhelmed that she had to lie down on the cold floor beneath her, one hand on her cheek and the other on her chest. It took her a few minutes to put two and two together.

  
  
  
  
  


_ ‘Holy fuck I have a heartbeat.’ _

Ava shot up from her spot on the floor, the gears turning in her head.

_ ‘So I’m  _ not _ dead.’ _

  
  
  


_ ‘Then where the fuck am I?’ _

Ava stood up, trying to gather her bearings, chewing on her bottom lip.

_ ‘Okay, Silva, line it up. Think. Where could you possibly be?’ _

  
  


_ ‘Heaven?’ _

Ava peeked out of one eye just to be sure.

_ ‘Nope, definitely not.’ _

_ ‘Hell? Maybe.’ _

  
  
  


_ ‘Purgatory?’ _

  
  
  
  
  


_ ‘Yeah, that checks out.’ _

Ava opened both of her eyes and nodded, satisfied with her answer. She swung her arms back and forth, clapping her hands intermittently as she slowly walked forward with clunky, dramatic steps; thinking.

_ ‘Well, since I’m  _ technically _ alive, I guess I can just… chill. For now.’ _

Ava took a breath and shoved her hands in her pockets, chewing her bottom lip briefly before nodding and setting her eyes ahead, walking into the dark.

She still feels the familiar palm against her chest.

  
  


~

  
  


The clock had just struck five when Mary pulled the van into a parking space in front of the hostel. The town was still asleep but the light in the front office was on, a sign reading ‘aperto 24/7’ hung on the inside window. The morning was still dark, the sky only having shifted from the black of night to the dark navy blue of approaching sun. 

Mary shifted the gear into park and turned off the engine, letting her head fall back against the headrest with eyes closed, left arm hanging by her side. She sighed and licked her lips.

“I have to pee so bad.” she stated, her eyes opening at the sounds of light laughter around her, which she joined in on. 

Camila stretched next to her, arms lengthening out in front of her as she yawned followed by a sigh.

“I’ll go book a room for us; I’ve stayed here a few times over the years, the owners know me. Wait here until I get the key, and then we can… move Ava.” Camila said, her tone changing from warm to distant over the course of those two sentences.

Mary took Camila’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze, “We’re gonna be okay, ‘Mil. I promise; now go get the room before my bladder explodes.”

Camila exhaled a laugh as a smile graced her features, nodding. She grabbed a small bag and opened her door, exiting the van and walking on the gravel towards the office.

Mary remained vigilant, particularly protective over the girl.

“A kid like that shouldn’t be here, fighting demons and all that. She should be getting a headache in Philosophy or crying over Chemistry like I did when I was in college,” Mary said softly, mostly to herself but loud enough for the other girls to hear her, “So much life to live given up for this, and for what?” she sighed, casting her eyes down to her lap.

Beatrice sees Mary in the rearview and feels her sorrow, but can’t help but add her own comment, “Ava’s not much older than Camila, and she was chosen to lead.”

Mary met her eyes in the mirror, “She shouldn’t be here either,” she said, lifting a finger to point at Beatrice, “Neither should you,” at Lilith, “Or you. You all should be living your lives like normal kids; you shouldn’t have to take on these heavy-ass responsibilities. Not yet at least. You should get to live. You deserve that much.”

Mary’s voice quivered at her last statement, her jaw clenching as she looked up and away, blinking hard, two perfect tears racing down her cheeks. She shook her head.

Beatrice’s eyebrows knitted together in concern, her averted eyes despondent as she looked over to Lilith.

Her face was crestfallen, eyes fixed on Mary’s downcast expression. She looked as though she was restraining herself, one hand in a loose fist as the other massaged her knuckles, fidgeting. Her gaze shifted slightly, focusing on Camila approaching the van. Lilith looked down at her hands and took a deep breath, calming herself, extending her fingers as she exhaled. 

Camila opened the door, dangling the keys with a humorous expression, mood changing abruptly from playful to concerned as she took in the van’s atmosphere. She looked to Beatrice in question, who only smiled and shook her head gently. That was answer enough.

Beatrice looked down at Ava, as still as ever, and placed her hand on her cheek, stroking the pad of her thumb lightly underneath Ava’s eye. She exhaled, looking up.

“Let’s get her inside.”

  
  


~

  
  


Camila and Beatrice carried Ava into the room, doing their best to set her down gently on the bed. 

Mary set up her own area, throwing her bag into the cubby beside the foot of her bed with her good arm. She attempted to take her coat off but hissed at the awkward angling of her shoulder, the muscles between her bruised ribs contracting painfully. Lilith heard the sound and walked over to Mary, placing a hand on her good shoulder, communicating a pause.

“Here, let me,” she said quietly, taking the cuff of the coat and sliding it over Mary’s hand; she then gripped the coat’s lapel, pulling it over Mary’s shoulder, allowing the coat to fall away with ease. She pulled the remaining half of the coat off of Mary’s injured side, folding it and placing it in a neighboring cubby.

“Thank you,” Mary said, giving Lilith a small smile. 

Lilith responded in kind and nodded, “Of course.”

On the other side of the room, Beatrice began slowly removing individual pieces of Ava’s armor.

_ ‘Wrist-guards,’ _

She released the belt-like buckle on her wrist, sliding off the leather-bound osmium guards. Right, left.

_ ‘Boots,’ _

She untied the first boot, gently loosening the laces level by level until it slipped off with zero effort. Rinse, repeat.

Beatrice took a steadying breath.

  
  


_ ‘Chestguard,’ _

  
  


She had to turn Ava onto her side to reach the buckles. 

  
  


Unlatch, unlatch, unlatch. 

  
  


She pulled Ava’s unmoving form onto her back, carefully shimmying the piece off and down her arms.

Beatrice stepped back and assessed the girl before her, sighing.

_ ‘She looks so small,’ _ she thought, Mary’s previous words about her sister-warriors echoing in her head.

Perhaps she did agree after all; they were too young. Their lives had little purpose outside of the OCS; Beatrice couldn’t have named a movie she had seen or a popular book she had read if she tried- she simply didn’t have the time for self-indulgence. No time for youthfulness. No time to be carefree.

She exhaled.

Maybe she should have gone to college. Maybe she should have gotten into more petty trouble. Maybe she should have taken more risks, met more people, experienced more than what little she actually considered memorable. Maybe she could have-

  
  


Maybe she could have been happier.

  
  


Beatrice closed her eyes and shook her head lightly, clearing her mind and turning slightly to her sisters- her family. The corners of her mouth ticked up.

_ ‘But then I wouldn’t have known them,’ _ she thought, eyes shifting down to her hands before refocusing on the halo bearer on the bed, assumedly at ease. Peaceful.

_ ‘I wouldn’t have known you.’ _

She smiled lightly, reaching forward and fixing the covers around Ava, the sheets tucked underneath her arms.

She busied herself in the bathroom, removing her own armor, habit, harnesses, hidden weapons. Once she was down to her underclothes, she paused.

Beatrice stared into the mirror, assessing herself. She looked too tired, too wise for her years. There was a light missing in her eyes that used to live there; a curious, youthful light, having been extinguished just a few years ago.

She didn’t think about why.

Beatrice turned on the faucet and splashed her face with cool water, bringing herself back to reality. She dabbed her face dry, refusing to look in the mirror again. She padded out into the common room, observing her sisters in their own beds, Camila already asleep. 

She switched off the remaining light and turned towards her bunk, situated above Ava’s. She approached slowly and reached for Ava’s hand, palm to palm, and gave it a squeeze. Her body was still warm, her heartbeat still as steady as the first time she felt it. 

Beatrice’s other hand reached out to Ava’s face, brushing back a strand of hair as she leaned over, ghosting the halo bearer’s forehead with a kiss. She pulled back, hand still in hand.

_ ‘We will never leave you,’ _

  
  
  


Exhale.

  
  


_ ‘I will never leave you.’ _

She released Ava’s hand and climbed the rungs, settling into the inviting softness of the bed, falling asleep almost instantly.

  
  


She didn’t see the beginning of a faint glow from the halo in the bed below.

  
  


~

  
  


The dank basement reeked of mildew and wood rot, the occupied space illuminated by a sparse series of incandescent bulbs casting shadows on the figures below.

The space was bigger than it appeared, the dark nearly swallowing any light attempting to reach the far corners of the room.

Adriel sat upon a dilapidated armchair, legs crossed, left arm slung over one side of the chair as his right hand rested under his chin.

Vincent stood nearby, armed and silent. He stared straight ahead, the proximity to his master resulting in a soldier-esque stature and mindset, serving only to follow orders. A puppet to a master, designed to be used.

Adriel hummed, his jaw shifting in thought; he let his right hand fall away from his face.

“I cannot feel the halo,” he said aloud, his head slowly leaning onto the backrest of the chair, shaking his head only once, “Nor the divinium. So much effort to make these artifacts a mirror into other lives, and for what?” he added, mostly speaking to himself but loud enough for Vincent to hear.

He exhaled, pulling himself forward and resting his elbows on his knees, his hands folded in a steeple.

“Do you have any idea of what could explain our current predicament, Vincent?” Adriel asked his servant, turning towards the priest.

Vincent nodded, “I have a couple of ideas, my lord. May I explain?”

Adriel smirked, his eyes narrowing at the address, “You may.”

Vincent set his weapon against the stack of crates beside him, sliding his hands into his pockets, “The first scenario is that the halo lost power completely from the force of the final blast. This means the bearer would be dead as well. Should this be the case, the OCS would no longer have a viable weapon capable of destroying demons, allowing them to possess innocents and wreak havoc at random, causing conflicts that could have catastrophic human consequences.”

Adriel peered into the shadows of the basement, considering the possibility, “Go on.”

Vincent cleared his throat, “The second scenario is that the halo lost power  _ almost _ completely, but did  _ not _ kill the bearer. Should this be the case, the OCS would still not have a viable defense against the wraiths, and would be effectively stalled in its operations indefinitely.”

Adriel nodded slowly, the gears in his head turning, “You say the bearer could still be alive. What would her current state be?”

Vincent blinked, “Unconscious, sir.”

“And what are the chances of the warrior nun regaining a fully functional state?”

“In my experience, sir? Slim. Very slim.”

Adriel stood up slowly, crossing his arms, “But not impossible.”

Vincent paused, nodding once, “Correct.”

Adriel nodded, taking slow steps forward in thought, “Well  _ Father _ Vincent, you were the director of the OCS while I was entrapped in my eternal tomb; what do  _ you _ think should be our next step?”

It felt like a test, a challenge of some kind.

Vincent turned the question over in his head, slowly approaching Adriel.

“I believe,” he started, attempting to flesh out his thoughts, “... that we should give them a false sense of security. Wait a while, a few months perhaps, to see if there are any developments with the halo; if none, your dark divine plan can unfold with ease. If there  _ are _ any developments, we will have had enough time to gather the necessary resources to strike down the sister warriors and the halo bearer, once again allowing your plan to unfold.”

Adriel hummed in approval, turning towards Vincent, “I am playing the long game, after all. What’s a few months to a thousand years?” he clapped a hand onto Vincent’s shoulder, “You make a good advisor, Vincent. I’ll be sure to reward you when the time comes.”

Vincent’s eyes began to well up artificially, an influence due to Adriel’s persuasive presence. His chin quivered as a tear rolled down his face, “Thank you, master.”

Adriel flashed a sinister smile before turning around, walking back towards the armchair and taking the seat.

“Now, we wait.”

  
  


~

  
  


Ava couldn’t tell how long she had been walking. Could’ve been a few minutes, could’ve been a few hours. She didn’t know. She didn’t care. All she knew is that she had to run into  _ something _ at some point.

  
  


_ ‘And I will work this body, I will burn this flab,’ _

  
  


_ ‘All in the dead of night and in the pouring rain,’ _

  
  


(Of course, right now, she had a song stuck in her head.)

  
  


_ ‘Yeah, I’m a workaholic and I swear I swear,’ _

_ ‘Yeah, one day I will get you fair and square,’ _

  
  


Ava jumped and danced to the tune bouncing around in her mind, finding some form of entertainment in the featureless landscape she’s been subjected to. 

Lost in the lyrics and the… interesting choice in dance moves, Ava failed to recognize that the smooth colorless floor beneath her feet had changed. 

_ ‘Show me what you got,’ _

_ Crunch. _

_ ‘Work this body on the floor,’ _

_ Crunch. _

_ ‘Who do you think y-’ _

The floor.

Ava looked down.

_ ‘The floor is no longer the floor.’ _

She knelt down, running her wispy fingertips along the ground.

_ ‘Dirt.’ _

The next time she stood up, her entire environment changed to a completely different landscape, almost as if she had always been here.

The atmosphere felt familiar. Everything took on the same bluish-gray hue as her body- no real color to be seen, only variants of light and shadow. 

Ava walked forward hesitantly, eyes straining to find any other… well, anything.

_ ‘Pretty freaky stuff.’ _ she thought, trying to quell any growing anxiety about the sudden change.

It took a moment for her spirit eyes to comprehend what she was seeing- a building made of stone, liturgical architecture-

  
  


_ ‘Oh… my god.’ _

  
  


_ ‘Hah, literally.’ _

  
  


Ava found herself propelling forward, one foot in front of the other, accelerating into a full on sprint towards the spirit world’s version of Cat’s Cradle.

When she reached the front steps, she paused, looking up at the detailed craftsmanship of the stone carvings and the decorative design of the iron gate.

_ ‘Yup, definitely my place.’ _

She extended her hand forward as a breeze blew through her, her fingers passing through bars of the gate. Ava blinked and took a deep breath, walking forward through the gate and large wooden doors into the main training room.

She looked around, identifying objects and areas familiar to her. Her feet carried her to a spot on the training mat and she knelt, placing her ghostly palm on the mat and exhaling a laugh.

_ ‘This is where I had my first training session with Lilith,’ _ she thought, the pleasant memory turning into a melancholy one,  _ ‘Right, Lilith.’ _

She stood up and scanned the room, eyeing a doorway that she knew led to the mess hall.

She let her instincts carry her to where felt right, soundlessly walking towards the bench she recognized from her first sit-down dinner. She tested her wispy hand against the wood, finding it solid enough to sit down on. She smiled.

_ ‘This is… this is where Beatrice and I first talked.’ _ she thought, running her translucent hands across the wood grain of the table, reminiscing the bittersweet remembrance.

Her whole body paused, eyes fluttering at a new sensation but recognizing the touch.

_ ‘Beatrice.’ _

Ava reached up to her cheek, trying to mimic the palm she could feel caressing her with utmost care. She closed her eyes, relishing in this… affection.

_ ‘Huh.’ _

The sensation was brief but Ava missed it immediately. She got up from the mess table and started in no particular direction to distract herself from the loss, allowing her intuition to guide her.

She looked up at the stone archways above her, fingers running along the rustic walls, allowing the nostalgia to wash over her soul.

Her breath hitched when her feet stopped in front of a familiar door.

She walked through the closed entrance, a vivid memory rushing to the front of her mind.

  
  


_ Ava knocked lightly on the door, the otherwise harsh noise dulled from the sleeves of her large sleep shirt falling past her fingertips. _

_ A pair of tired eyes greeted her, and Ava flashed an apologetic half smile. _

_ “Are you alright? It’s late.” _

_ Ava felt a slight pang of embarrassment at bothering Beatrice past midnight; she fidgeted with her hands to avoid eye contact. _

_ “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep. I thought that maybe if- well if you’re okay with it I was wondering-,” Ava paused, scoffing lightly at herself, not finishing her thought. _

_ Beatrice smiled and shook her head lightly, opening the door wider for Ava to enter, “Come in. I don’t bite.” _

_ Ava smiled at her and padded into the room, stopping in the center of the room, unsure of what to do with herself in this space. _

_ Beatrice followed behind, only brushing past Ava and walking towards her bed, sitting on the unmade surface cross legged. It was only then that Beatrice noticed that Ava was wearing an oversized long-sleeve shirt, presumably underwear, and socks. _

_ And that was it. _

_ She swallowed. _

_ “Um,” she started, shaking her head lightly to clear her thoughts, “So, what’s up?” _

_ Ava shook her head, fidgeting with her fingers, a silly expression on her face, “Oh, just, y’know, nightmares,” she started, her expression turning more stern as she focused more intently on her hands, her voice beginning to shake, “... about the orphanage. Sister Frances. I can’t move and she’s injecting me with that big… fucking… needle of whatever the fuck it is that kills me in the end.” _

_ Ava’s eyebrows were knitted together in distress, her brown eyes filling with tears that reflected in the moonlight. Her hands were trembling. _

_ Beatrice felt a pull in her chest. It pulled her right to Ava. _

_ She walked towards the halo bearer and reached forward, her hands slowly covering Ava’s, trying to calm the nervous hands before her. Ava exhaled a strained laugh. _

_ “God, your hands are so warm. And I thought this thing in my back was supposed to be a mobile furnace.” Ava said, eyes looking up into Beatrice’s hoping to find humor reflected back at her. She found them filled with concern and sympathy, but most of all: care.  _

_ Ava’s mask cracked as her laugh turned into a whimper, tears falling down her cheeks and onto the stone floor. She leaned forward into Beatrice, seeking comfort like she had once before. _

_ Beatrice froze momentarily before slowly enveloping Ava in a hug, the smaller girl shaking against her, hot tears sticking to her neck. She held Ava tighter. _

_ Ava shook her head against her neck, “It never goes away, it never…” she trailed off as another sob wracked her body, her arms pulling Beatrice to her like buoy out at sea. She didn’t want to drown in her memories. _

_ Beatrice placed a hand on the back of Ava’s head, resting her cheek against the smaller girl as she held her, faintly rocking back and forth.  _

_ Briefly, Beatrice’s mind stuttered between two options of what to do in that very moment. _

_ She followed her heart. _

_ She pulled herself back far enough to take in Ava’s puffy eyes and quivering chin, hair a mess of waves and curls, her hands settling against either side of Ava’s face like pieces to a puzzle. She smiled faintly. _

_ ‘You’re beautiful.’ _

_ Ava looked between Beatrice’s eyes, mimicking her smile as her hands came up to rest on her wrists. Beatrice’s heart hammered in her chest. _

_ She leaned forward, placing a soft kiss to Ava’s forehead. Ava closed her eyes and squeezed her wrists, keeping Beatrice in place for as long as she could make this last. _

_ After a few seconds Beatrice pulled back slowly, eyes closed, and rested her forehead against Ava’s, hands still in their previous place as her thumbs stroked at the fair tear-stained cheeks of the halo bearer, calming her. _

_ They stood like that for what felt like a century and a moment all at once, saying nothing, their breathing falling into sync. Ava broke the silence with a breathy laugh, Beatrice’s eyes opening in response. _

_ “Jeez, I’m sorry, I must look like a mess,” she said, eyelashes fluttering as she focused her eyes on the other girl’s. Beatrice shook her head, moving Ava's against hers. _

_ “Never.” _

_ She slowly pulled away from the shorter girl, one of her hands tracing down Ava’s arm before grasping her hand, intertwining their fingers. Ava squeezed back. _

_ Beatrice slowly walked backwards to her bed, pulling Ava in tow. She picked up the covers and slid underneath, holding them open for the other girl who slipped beneath them wordlessly. _

_ Ava curled into the taller girl, her head settling onto Beatrice’s chest, her hand lightly gripping her shirt as she snuggled closer, inhaling the faint scent of lemongrass and cardamom. _

_ She smelled like Beatrice. She felt like home. _

_ Beatrice wrapped her arms around the shorter girl, settling her chin on top of Ava’s head, exhaling to calm her jumping heart. _

  
  


_ Ava didn’t have any more nightmares that night, and she didn’t mention the way Beatrice’s heart fluttered when she was close. _

  
  
  


Ava’s recollection of the memory had her pitching forward onto the bed, sucking in the non-air around her to try and calm her aching soul. 

It didn’t work.

Her chest felt more concave than it could have been as she cried, hard. She wanted to be back in that bed with Beatrice, feeling her warmth, her steadying presence. She wanted her anchor back. 

She wanted Beatrice back, entirely.

She crawled onto the bed, sitting up against the headboard and focused on her oxygen-absent breathing, wishing that the color would return to the room with the owner to follow.

She didn’t know nor did she care about how long she stayed in that spot, trying to hold onto the shred of happiness the memory brought her. 

She froze, holding her breath.

_ ‘She’s holding my hand.’ _

Ava’s face split into the biggest smile she could muster as non-existent happy tears threatened to spill over, feeling the familiar warmth and comfort of a kiss being placed on her forehead. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the headboard as the warmth left her ghostly body, laughing sadly as the tears ran down her face. She exhaled.

  
  


_ ‘I’ll find my way back to you. I promise.’ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if ur chest isnt aching ur not human n if u r human i am impressed (gimme some love in the comments if you liked it)


	3. someone to need you too much, someone to know you too well

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- chapter song insps: Imagine Dragons - Second Chances, Frank Sinatra - I've Got You Under My Skin, Coldplay - A Rush of Blood to the Head  
> \- tumblr for writing thoughts, oc info, and asking questions: piedpiperwriter  
> \- drop a kudos or a comment or both if u like this chapter! lets me know im feeding the community :)  
> \- enjoy!

The sun had just begun to set when Beatrice awoke, the aroma of fresh brewed espresso filling the room. She lazily turned over, outstretching her arms and loosening her muscles stiff from sleep. Blearily, she rolled to her side and peeked over the railing of the top bunk to the bed below. Unsurprisingly, Ava had not moved from when Beatrice last saw her the night before, the bed completely untouched.

Beatrice’s eyes wandered to the bottom bunk next to Ava’s, the sheets having been thrown back. She took a deep breath and looked around the room further, her eyes settling on a silhouette sitting out on the cliffside balcony.

She rolled her neck to loosen her shoulders, swinging a leg over the bed’s railing and climbing down the rungs. She padded over to the brewer in the kitchenette, picking up a small cup and observing the one extra laid out awaiting to be filled. She smiled lightly.

_‘One for me, one for Camila- none for Lilith.’_

Beatrice took a small sip, savoring the range of flavors in the roast.

_‘Such a rarity back at Cat’s Cradle.’_ she thought, thinking back to just over a week ago when Ava tried to make coffee for the few of them.

  
  


_“I thought the coffee would dissolve…” she said, Mary coughing on a rather substantial amount of grounds as Beatrice laughed, her shoulder brushing Ava’s in the process._

_“It’s not funny! I wanted to do something nice for you guys and I screwed it up. I’m sad.” Ava contested, playfully pouting. Beatrice just laughed harder._

_“It's the thought that counts, right Mary?” Beatrice said, catching her breath between giggles._

_Mary stuck her head under the faucet, swishing to get any remnants of the grounds out of her mouth, “Yeah, something like that.”_

_Ava’s playful pout turned to a playful scowl as she crossed her arms, nudging Beatrice, “You guys are mean.”_

_Beatrice smiled and nudged back, “It’s alright. I’ll teach you sometime soon so you don’t feed anyone else cups of dirt first thing in the morning.”_

_Ava rolled her eyes, a smile forming on her lips, “Just the coffee or do you have anything else to show me, cocinera?”_

_Beatrice’s eyes crinkled from her growing smile, “I could teach you something else, sure. It’ll be super complicated with a lot of steps. Very appropriate for a beginner.”_

_Ava laughed and lightly smacked Beatrice’s arm, “Dick.”_

_Camila, happening to pass by, stuck her head through the open kitchen door._

_“Language!”_

_They all broke out into more laughter._

  
  


Beatrice smiled at the bittersweet memory, her eyes flicking over the lip of her cup to the bearer lying all too still.

_‘Sometime soon.’_ she thought.

Her eyes traveled back to Mary sitting outside, her feet carrying her to the sliding door.

Mary glanced at her as she stepped onto the balcony, taking a sip from her own cup, “Hey.”

“Hey,” she replied, taking a seat in the opposing chair, “How long have you been up?”

Mary shrugged, “Not more than an hour I’d say,” she paused, eyes on the horizon, “Sunset’s beautiful tonight.”

Beatrice looked out at the picturesque seascape, alight with bright oranges, pinks, and yellows. She’s seen plenty of sunsets back at Cat’s Cradle, but this was God’s true handiwork.

They sat in a brief silence, basking in the gentle rays and crashes of the waves below. Mary was the first to speak.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Beatrice looked down at her half filled cup, sighing heavily, “Where would I even begin?”

Mary paused, taking a sip from her own cup, “The truth is a good place to start.”

Beatrice clenched her jaw to maintain control of her outward expression, shaking her head, “It’s too soon for that.”

Mary turned her head to look at the younger girl for a few moments before leaning forward and placing her now empty cup on the small table between them. She took a deep breath.

“I used to be like you, around Shannon,” she started, her gaze focused on the setting sun, “Cautious, I mean. Didn’t want to push her into doing anything she didn’t want to do. Hell, I was so passive with her at first that she had to tell me to buck up and quit being a doormat,” she chuckled.

Beatrice listened intently, staring at nothing in particular. Mary continued.

“After that I was still cautious but I tapped into her; I could pick up on the way she looked at me, the way she said things, the way she’d walk over to me,” Mary’s eyes flickered, smiling slightly, “We were in tune. I was the shore and she was the tide. I was always there and I knew she would always come back to me,” her voice shook slightly, the corners of her mouth turning down. She swallowed the forming lump in her throat as Beatrice watched, her eyes shining in the fading sunlight.

“I never said the exact words to her, always tacking on a ‘we’ instead of just ‘I’. I knew she knew how deep my feelings went and I knew how deep hers were, but it’s not the same,” Mary turned to look at Beatrice, silent tears running down her face, “The night I lost her stays with me. I remember thinking ‘You idiot, tell her before it’s too late’,” she sucked in a breath, trying desperately to steady her quivering voice, “She was the one dying and she was telling _me_ it was going to be okay. You were there, you know she died after they took that damn relic out.”

Mary closed her eyes and shook her head, “I regret choking on my words every day I remember she’s not here. I regret taking our time for granted. I regret not telling her all of the thoughts bouncing around in my head about how much I love her.”

Beatrice’s chin quivered at the admittance she just heard, two tears tracking down her face.

Mary turned her whole body towards Beatrice, eyes red and sorrowful, “The lesson is this: say it. Say it with your whole chest. Say it all the goddamn time. You never know when you won’t be able to.”

Beatrice sobbed fully at the heavy advice, getting up to walk over to Mary and kneel in front of her. She pulled her into a loving embrace and squeezed.

“Thank you.” she whispered, Mary squeezed back.

“You’re not a kid anymore. I don’t think you’ll be a kid again after a talk like this.”

Beatrice let out a breathy laugh against the older woman’s neck and shook her head, “No, definitely not.”

They pulled back from each other, both wiping at their eyes. They chuckled at the shared moment as they both stood up.

“Alright, enough of this. Let’s pig out and order in. I need at least a metric ton of _bona pizza_ or I’m gonna die.” Mary said, putting emphasis on the Italian as she made her way back inside to the now waking sister-warriors, her voice beginning to take on its usual lilt.

Beatrice smiled, following her steps inside, “Gluttony is a sin, Mary.”

Mary chuckled, “Yeah, whatever.”

  
  


~

  
  


A few hours passed, the sun having set and allowing the moon to shine bright over the calm waves of the Adriatic sea.

The group was settled around a low round table covered in various tapas for the girls and one ‘nduja & burrata pie for Mary. The air took on a somber mood as they all ate in relative silence, nobody wishing to puncture the fragile bubble they’ve created in that moment.

Camila sighed to herself and wiped her mouth, folding her napkin and setting in on top of her empty plate. She leaned back on her hands, gentle eyes landing on Beatrice, who at this point was leaning back against the couch, arms crossed over her chest and eyes distant.

“Has she moved at all?” Camila asked quietly.

Beatrice’s head turned slightly, meeting Camila’s inquiring eyes. Her mouth twitched and she shook her head gently. 

Camila’s stare shifted to the floor beside Beatrice, exhaling slowly, “I’m getting worried, it’s been almost twenty four hours and all we have is a heartbeat.”

Beatrice chewed the inside of her lip, turning the words over in her head.

Mary crumpled one of the paper bags into a ball, tossing it into the empty pizza box in front of her and leaning back onto her hands, “I think we should take her to a hospital. Or a clinic. The halo is keeping her alive but she still needs food and water to keep her body from breaking down.”

Beatrice shook her head in response, “We can’t go anywhere public. The police put out warrants for our arrest for endangering citizens with the explosion.”

Camila inhaled sharply, realizing, “We could take her to ARQTech. Jillian has medical teams and supplies; she can take care of Ava like when she took care of Lilith after…” she paused, not wanting to say the exact words, “... after that happened.”

Mary glanced at Lilith, who was completely visually unbothered by the allusion, then looked at Camila, “That’s an idea.”

Beatrice sighed, leaning forward to sit more upright, her hands settling on either side of herself, “Are we sure that’s a safe idea knowing Jillian’s track record with having Ava alone?”

Mary paused, tilting her head to the side in thought, “I don’t think we have much of a choice right now. The longer we try to stretch our time… we don’t know what could happen. I don’t want to risk it.”

Beatrice’s eyes flickered and she nodded in final agreement, “Alright, we’ll leave tomorrow morning.”

Mary nodded in kind, “I’ll call Jillian and give her a heads up, can’t imagine she’d be too hot with four beat up fugitives and an unconscious kid showing up on her doorstep first thing in the morning.”

Beatrice exhaled a chuckle, Camila and Lilith smiling, “No, I can’t imagine that’d be a pleasant experience.”

Mary’s mouth twitched as she moved to stand, stretching her tired body, “Alright, I paid so you all clean up. I’m gonna go make that phone call.”

The girls nodded, shifting to their feet and picking up the mess of napkins, utensils, and disposable containers as Mary stepped outside onto the balcony.

Beatrice tossed the trash into the bin and washed her hands. She turned and leaned against the kitchenette counter, eyes falling on the unconscious warrior.

Camila saw the expression on her face, reaching out to place her hand on Beatrice’s arm reassuringly, “She’s going to be okay, Bea.”

Beatrice nodded weakly, her face not changing to match Camila’s hopeful suggestion.

Camila frowned slightly and instead wrapped her arms around her, embracing the distraught sister-warrior.

Beatrice stiffened slightly, taken aback by the sudden act of love from her sister. She slowly shifted to wrap an arm around Camila’s shoulders, the other reaching to hold her arm to her as she settled her cheek on top of the shorter girl’s head.

Camila squeezed her, shifting to press her lips against Beatrice’s shoulder as she spoke, muffled, “She’ll make it, Bea. She will.”

Beatrice’s chest tightened at Camila’s insistent positivity, the younger girl always being a light in the darkness, a beacon of hope. Beatrice squeezed back and nodded against Camila.

“She will.”

  
  


~

  
  


The hour following dinner was filled with preparing their stark belongings for the morning to come and the night ahead. Beatrice, being the most organized in that respect, only took twenty or so minutes. 

She spent the remaining time sitting on the cool floor beside Ava’s bed, elbow propped up on the comforter, head resting in her hand.

She just sat, examining the halo bearer feature by feature. The curve of her nose. The dip of her cupid’s bow. 

Beatrice closed her eyes and imagined that smile, the one that lights up the room. The smile that makes her eyes twinkle as if the night sky lived within her, producing stars and constellations. The smile that makes Beatrice’s chest bloom with warmth, that makes her heart race.

Beatrice refocused her vision, the hand supporting her head reaching down to Ava’s and turning it over, palm-side up.

She lightly traced the lines on her hand, each curve and bend and branch, making a mental map of the skin’s surface. She traced the path of each finger, visualizing a path of light through each touch.

Beatrice paused and thought for a moment.

She then slowly, carefully, stretched her hand out against Ava’s, lining up their fingers, palms pressed together. Her hands were smaller than Beatrice’s- softer, not having the years of weapons training and grappling etched into each callous. Beatrice smiled slightly, thinking how, maybe, in another life, they could have met under different circumstances; how, maybe, she could be next to Ava, listening to each gentle breath come and go, free from demons and a past that burdened her. 

Maybe, in another life, they could be together, safe and happy.

But that wasn’t this life. So Beatrice stayed by her side, slowly dozing.

Camila smiled at the scene as she handed Beatrice a thick bedspread to place on the floor, followed by a blanket to keep her warm. She nodded her thanks, smiling.

Beatrice settled down on the makeshift bed beside Ava, not caring how, despite the soft fill of the comforter, the floor dug into her hip. It didn’t matter.

What mattered was when she intertwined her fingers with Ava’s like a lock to a key, perfectly matched.

She eventually fell asleep, their hands still clasped together through their shared slumber.

  
  


~

  
  


The sun had just begun to rise when the group packed their bags into the van and set off to Milan. Camila estimated that they’d arrive within nine or so hours depending on stops, so they all made sure to dress relatively comfortably for the long trip ahead. Beatrice’s hair was pulled back into a bun, donning a pair of olive green joggers, a black sweatshirt, and Converse, her back-up clothing in stark contrast to her usual garb.

They all piled into the van into their original spaces from the day prior, Lilith assisting Beatrice with situating Ava before she took her own side of the van. Beatrice mirrored her positioning from before, legs splayed, Ava’s head in her lap as she lightly ran her fingers through her hair, smoothing out any tangles.

Once on the road, Camila took the opportunity to fiddle with the radio, flipping through stations playing Spanish, Italian, and American artists.

“Wait,” Mary interjected, putting her hand up, “Go back a couple stations.”

Camila pressed the reverse seek button a couple times, looking at Mary.

“There, I like this song.” she said, the old timey tune flowing throughout the van.

_“I've got you under my skin._

_I've got you deep in the heart of me._

_So deep in my heart that you're really a part of me._

_I've got you under my skin.”_

Mary hummed the melody, Lilith smiling slightly, “I never took this as your niche, Mary.” she said, Mary’s twinkling eyes meeting hers in the rearview mirror.

“There’s still a lot you don’t know about me.” she stated, a slight teasing tone hidden beneath her words. Lilith’s smile grew as she looked away.

_“I'd sacrifice anything come what might for the sake of having you near,_

_In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night_

_And repeats, repeats in my ear:_

_‘Don't you know, little fool, you never can win?_

_Use your mentality, wake up to reality.’_

_But each time that I do just the thought of you makes me stop before I begin,_

_'Cause I've got you under my skin.”_

Beatrice smiled at the lyrics, looking down at Ava.

This girl, who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, crash landed into Beatrice’s life. This brash, impulsive, irresponsible girl with a heart of gold and a mind of her own. Completely out of nowhere, flung out of space- and yet she enamored Beatrice from the first time they spoke onward.

Beatrice was so carefully constructed, each piece of her facade crafted to fill an expectation held by those around her, like a dam holding back all that she felt and dreamed of.

Ava was the crack that threatened the sturdy structure of that metaphorical dam, a breath away from collapse and release of pent up desires Beatrice had been harboring for most of her life. She brought out qualities in her that Beatrice hadn’t noticed or indulged in years.

The uncertainty was nerve wracking, the prospect of human emotion too complex to strategize for Beatrice’s liking. It wasn’t something she could plan out; it was unpredictable.

Beatrice spent the rest of the van ride running her fingers lightly through Ava’s hair, contemplating if she would let that uncertainty, standing outside the door to her heart, in.

  
  


~

  
  


Upon arriving at ARQTech, a team of medical personnel met the van as it pulled up with a gurney, their swiftness and sense of urgency catching Beatrice off guard as she laid a protective arm around the unconscious warrior nun.

Mary, having already stepped out and rounded to the back of the van, placed a hand on Beatrice’s arm, “It’s okay, let them take her.”

Beatrice looked at Mary intensely, eyes shifting to the buzzing employees as she slowly removed her arm from across Ava’s body. Two nurse technicians stepped into the van, each slipping an arm under Ava’s shoulders and legs to keep her body level as they carried her over to the gurney and running inside. 

Beatrice’s chest tightened as the distance between her and Ava grew, the realization that she couldn’t be near the other girl during her examinations hitting her as she stumbled out of the back of the van. Mary caught her before she could fall to her knees, one arm wrapped around Beatrice’s waist.

“Hey, she’s going to be okay.” Mary said, Beatrice turning to lock eyes with the older woman, “She’s in good hands, trust me.”

Beatrice exhaled sharply and clenched her jaw, standing upright in an attempt to compose herself. She blinked and nodded, “I do.”

Mary nodded back, her hand rubbing up and down Beatrice’s arm, “Let's go to the waiting room. Jillian will break down the tests Ava is having done so we know what’s going on, maybe get you a snack. You look pale.”

Beatrice took a slow steadying breath, closing her eyes to finally calm her nerves, and she nodded with more confidence, “Okay.”

They entered the receiving area, Beatrice’s eyes scanning the more medical focused portion of ARQTech. Her eyes fell on one of the two nurse practitioners barking orders in regards to tests she wanted carried out on other patients, the four extra nurse techs tapping furiously on their tablets, likely taking notes and filling out patient charts. They dispersed shortly before Jillian came into view, a reserved smile taking form on her lips.

“Hello, I hope the rest of you are well. I will admit, I wasn’t expecting your phone call so close to the events that transpired at the Vatican.” Jillian said, looking at Mary.

“I take it you already know about our fugitive statuses?” Mary asked, snagging a small pouch of trail mix out of the snack bowl and tossing it to Beatrice. Jillian nodded in response, “Yeah, that’s what I thought. Pretty sure you picked up on this being our only option.”

Jillian nodded again, “Yes, luckily this is one of the best options in Italy, and I’m glad you did come so soon. I know Ava is an important asset to you, as she is to me.”

“She’s also a living person.”

  
  


Everyone turned to Beatrice at the interjection, worry lines forming between her eyebrows. Lilith placed a hand on her arm, trying to ease the tension in her body by making her support known.

“Of course, I apologize if I did not make that clear.” Jillian responded, her tone taking on a softness to accommodate the sensitive situation, “You have nothing to worry about, Dr. Pantazis is a brilliant mind and a compassionate practitioner. She’ll make sure Ava is fully taken care of, as will I.”  
  


Beatrice relaxed slightly at the reassuring words, Camila’s hand coming up to settle on her back to provide comfort. She could tell how difficult this was for Beatrice, unsure of what exactly is going on with Ava, unable to move in any direction without a plan. She was paralyzed and it unsettled her, and Camila wanted her to know that she wasn’t alone.

Jillian exhaled, “I will be back around in a few hours with Ava’s EEG and MRI test results. You’re all welcome to come back to the observing area to view the procedures as they take place if you so choose. I’ll be personally monitoring the data as it comes through and I can explain any questions you may have.”

Jillian checked her wristwatch, “I have a video call with another,” she paused, choosing her words carefully, “... client shortly, which shouldn’t last longer than twenty minutes. After that, I’ll be in the data collection room; the receptionist will point you back when I notify her.”

The girls nodded as Jillian flashed a small smile and took her leave. They each took a seat, their posture less than ideal from the stress of the past three days. 

Lilith nudged Beatrice with her shoulder, “How are you doing?” she asked softly, her eyes open with care. 

Beatrice shrugged and shook her head, looking down at her hands in her lap, “If we’re being honest, not great. It doesn’t feel right to divulge my worries when we’ve all gone through the same thing, presumably maintaining the same worries.” she said, chewing on her bottom lip.

Camila turned to look at Beatrice and placed her hand on top of her sister’s, “Bea,” she said, the other girl’s eyes meeting hers, “You’re allowed to grieve. We’re all handling this differently, and the way you show your concerns is not a burden.” she took Beatrice’s hand fully, eyes shining, “We’re here for each other, and that includes _you_. We’re here for you, no matter what.” she said, stressing the last bit with an understanding that ran through all four of them.

Beatrice’s eyes had welled with tears at the emotion behind Camila’s words, the droplets rolling down her cheeks as she gave a small smile. Camila, since her first day at Cat’s Cradle, had been so open with Beatrice, so trusting. Not because of naivete, but because that is just how she is; she puts good out into the world without expectation of anything in return, possessing a generosity that Beatrice admired. 

Lilith smiled at Camila, nodding at her declaration, “Camila’s right. You can talk to us.”

Mary, who had been a silent observer of this exchange, spoke.

“We’re a family,” she stated, the girls all looking up in her direction, “A fucked up, supernatural family with way too much baggage, but a family.”

They all smiled and chuckled at Mary’s addition, Camila muttering ‘language’ through her breathy laugh at the expletive. 

They sat like that for a bit before the receptionist spoke up.

“You are now welcome to the data observation room.”

Beatrice nodding, looking at her other sisters before standing, “I’m going to go watch,”

Camila stood up in kind, “I’m coming with, maybe I’ll learn something.”

Beatrice smiled at her sister as they hooked arms and walked down the hallway lined with rooms.

It was a few moments before Mary stood, slowly approaching Lilith. She sat beside her, gripping the arms of the chair and leaning her head back against the wall with her eyes closed, sighing.

Lilith’s breath quickened momentarily as she cautiously placed her hand atop Mary’s, waiting; watching.

Mary’s head shifted slightly, her eyes falling on their hands and eventually Lilith herself, her eyes fixed on their hands. Mary made a bold move and turned her hand palm side up, sliding their fingers together. She watched Lilith close her eyes and release a breath she was holding.

They didn’t speak, just sitting silently in the white and grey hued room, together.

  
  


~

  
  


The MRI test was long and, well, uneventful. Ava was physically fine as far as injuries go, on account of the halo’s steady stream of healing energy, so that was no surprise to the trio.

The EEG, however, was very interesting, especially to Jillian.

“What… in the world?” she whispered, moving closer to the monitor.

Beatrice’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion, “What?” 

Jillian shook her head to clear her mind, still looking at the computer screen, “You said she is in a coma? Hasn’t moved for over twenty four hours?”

“Yes.” Camila said from behind them, now approaching the desk Beatrice was leaning over.

“And she hasn’t made any noises or opened her eyes at all?”

“ _Yes_ , now what-” Beatrice was cut off.

“I don’t know… how this is possible. Especially with a power output as extreme as you’ve described-”

Beatrice slammed an open fist down onto the desk, startling Camila and Jillian.

“ _What_ does it say?!” she nearly yelled, her eyes wide with panic.

Camila placed a hand on Beatrice’s back, “Bea…”

Beatrice looked at Camila, realizing her outburst and closing her eyes, exhaling. She stepped back from the desk a few inches.

“I’m sorry, that was uncalled for. Please explain what you’ve found.” Beatrice said pseudo calmly, impatience hinting at her voice.

Jillian gave a nod in silent understanding, beginning her explanation, “The brain has five basic levels of activity, otherwise known as waves. These waves are broken down into: delta, theta, alpha, beta, and gamma waves. Delta being the lowest frequency, associated with the healing done during deep sleep; gamma being the highest, associated with wakefulness and intense focus.” Jillian licked her lips and continued, “Normally, in severe coma patients, like we’ve assumed Ava to be, there is extremely minimal brain activity. Sometimes there’s small amounts of delta waves present, but for someone who has undergone as much physical _and_ metaphysical stress as Ava, any medical professional would deduce that her brain activity would be non-existent.”

Camila was silent. Beatrice took in the information, staring at nothing in particular, “So, what does that mean?”

Jillian turned the monitor slightly, allowing Beatrice a full view of the graph depicting two series of waves.

“Ava’s delta wave activity is normal. Her theta, alpha, beta, and gamma waves are inactive due to her not being awake or, as far as we know, mentally lucid.” Jillian turned to Beatrice and Camila, a serious look on her face, “She’s in some sort of deeply meditative state.”

The girls went silent, unsure of how to respond.

Jillian looked back at the monitor, fascinated at the results, “As far as I know, there’s no documented cases of something like this happening before- ever. It would make such an interesting study-”

“She is _not_ your guinea pig.” Beatrice stated sternly, one of her fists tightening.

Jillian looked at Beatrice, her hand, then back to her face, “That was not my intended implication. I apologize if my words came across that way.”

Beatrice’s eyes narrowed at the monitor before turning to Camila, her fist relaxing, “Did the archives say anything about something like this occurring before?”

Camila shook her head, “Not in all that I’ve read.”

Beatrice chewed on her lip and turned back to the computer screen, thinking.

  
  


_‘You’re so close but so far.’_

  
  


“If I may,” Jillian started, earning nods from both Camila and Beatrice, “If I were a member of a religious institution, and I held a belief in an afterlife…” her eyes flicked to Beatrice, “I’d think Ava would be in some sort of spirit world.”

Camila’s eyebrows shot up, Beatrice just blinked.

“Is that possible?” Camila whispered.

Beatrice clenched her jaw and shook her head slightly, “I think there’s a lot more within the realm of possibility that neither we nor the church have even conceptualized.” she replied, crossing her arms and looking up to the ceiling.

Camila’s eyes darted between Beatrice and Jillian, searching for answers.

Beatrice spoke, “Well, what do we do now?”

Jillian looked at the young girl and then focused her stare elsewhere, “Well, I believe it would be a good idea to get her on a saline drip and nasogastric tube feeding to keep her body functioning and capable of healing, in tandem with the halo, that is.”

“Nasogastric?” Camila asked.

“Through the nose.” Beatrice responded. Camila made a face.

Jillian smiled slightly at the exchange, standing, “But aside from those basic measures, there’s not much else to do except wait,” Jillian said, turning back around to the monitor, “She’s got to come out of there at some point.”

Beatrice exhaled, accepting the lackluster news, “If that’s what needs to be done, then do it.”

Jillian didn’t move for a few moments before nodding, "I'll gather all of her information to present to the other half of your party, as well as have her situated with the mentioned care." she finished, heading for the door.

  
  


“Jillian,”

She stopped, turning her head to the side to show that she was waiting for Beatrice to finish.

  
  
  


“Thank you.”

  
  


Jillian released a breath and nodded gently, pushing through the door and out into the hallway.

  
  


~

  
  


Ava had kept to Beatrice’s room for what could have been days, trying to remember the colors that used to be present, the way the sun’s rays would wash in onto the cold stone floor.

She kept to the bed, mostly due to her memories of it, but she explored the space in detail as well. The walls were pretty much bare save for a sketch done by Camila, signed in her curly script, and a photograph.

Ava examined the first drawing, the scribbles somehow taking shape of Mary, Beatrice, and Ava. Their faces were smiling, Ava’s the biggest of all, caught in a moment in time. Ava had a vague memory of the scene; Beatrice had made a vulgar comment hilarious enough to get Mary to slap her knee. The prospect of making Mary, a hardass through and through, laugh with fervor was such an achievement that Ava had broken out into laughter at the very idea. In the sketch, Beatrice was smiling, her gaze fixed on Ava as she held her hands to her stomach in intense laughter.

Ava smiled at the scene, running her ghostly fingers down the paper at her recollection.

The photograph was older, the corners curled slightly from the drafty nature of Cat’s Cradle.

Beatrice’s hair was pulled back into a bun, her head tilted to the side. Her freckles speckled her cheeks, like stars in an open sky. Her lips quirked up slightly at the corners, as if Camila had made a humorous comment before she took the shot. There was a twinkle in her eyes, almost beckoning the viewer- Ava- closer.

Ava placed her hand on the wall beside the image, leaning. She noted every detail, every freckle, the way her eyebrows curved. 

She closed her eyes, eyebrows knitted together, her breaths becoming shallow.

She hit a closed fist against the rough stone wall. At first only once, then again, repeating her action until she swore she could feel her physical bones bruising from the impact.

Ava was angry. 

She was angry that she wasn’t strong enough to withstand her own power; how, even with a holy relic instilled in her body, she was still weak. She was angry that her team was likely dragging her around, unconscious. Useless. 

She let out a soundless scream, frustration causing her glowing appearance to become brighter, more vivid. 

She felt like a burden. A beating heart, giving just enough hope to her team to wait it out for her. Waiting for Ava to pop back up like the spunky girl they knew; yet, Ava stood here, not in her body, not sure where she fucking was- _alone_ \- unsure if it’s even possible to go back.

She took a few slow, deep breaths, opening her eyes. She looked back up to the photograph.

Her hand raised, she ran a finger down the surface, burning the image into her mind.

She made a choice, then, to stop feeling sorry for herself. She decided that she wouldn’t stop searching or fighting until she got back to her friends.

_‘To Beatrice.’_

Fully engaged in her self reflection, Ava caught the tail-end of a cold rush of energy nearby.

She turned, eyes scanning. 

In the doorway, there was some sort of distortion, the imagery of Cat’s Cradle twisting, rippling.

Ava took a cautious step forward. Another.

The distortion moved suddenly, traveling down the hall.

_‘Hey!’_ Ava thought, her feet picking up pace to keep up with the anomaly.

She rounded a corner, catching a glimpse of the strange energy before it traveled through her own bedroom door.

Ava jogged down the hall and phased through the door, her eyes settling on the distortion hovering in front of the wall. 

  
  


_That_ wall.

  
  


Ava slowly approached the energy, the distortion now suddenly calm, hovering in place.

Ava’s eyes shifted between it and the wall, trying to figure out what it was trying to tell her.

_‘What is it?’_

The ripple shifted slightly, almost like it was turning, towards the wall, then turning back to Ava.

Ava’s eyebrows knitted, confused but catching on.

_‘There’s something in there?’_

The ripple responded by shifting to the side, giving Ava the necessary space to phase through the wall.

Ava looked at the wall, shaking her head like ‘this might as well happen’.

She reached a hand out, testing a swipe through the otherwise solid stone, now as non-existent as her physical body. Ava walked forward, moving through the wall with ease.

Her spirit eyes adjusted to the familiar glow of the selenite crystals. She looked around the small, cave-like room, reacquainting herself with the rough walls and stone table.

Her eyes, however, settled on something else altogether.

A figure, sitting on the floor, arms loosely wrapped around bent knees, fingers lightly clasped together, head leaning back against the uneven stone wall.

The face came into focus, and Ava’s breath caught in her throat, her eyes widening.

  
  
  


_‘Shannon?’_

  
  
  


The still figure opened her eyes, confirming Ava’s suspicions, a genuine smile forming on her lips.

_‘Ava,’_

She froze, feeling the former warrior nun’s thoughts circling in her own mind.

_‘You made it.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> share ur Thoughts below n drop a kudos u splendid entities


	4. someone to pull you up short, to put you through hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- song insps: Eyes of the World by Fleetwood Mac, The Devil in I by Slipknot, Worth The Fight by Broods  
> \- tumblr for thoughts n concerns n questions: piedpiperwriter  
> \- rmr to drop a kudos and leave a comment at the end (the comments feed my creativity and love even more :D)  
> \- enjoy :)

Ava didn’t take it super well.

_‘What… the fuck. What the fuck. You’re here? Have you been here the whole time? Why didn’t you show up sooner? What kind of weird student-mentor shit are you trying to pull- what the fuck are you laughing at?!’_

Shannon’s smile nearly reached her eyes as she watched Ava, waving her arms in dramatic fashion, try to make sense of their situation. A ghostly laugh reverberated throughout her spirit, shaking her head at the younger girl as she moved to stand up.

_‘You, if that wasn’t clear enough,’_ Shannon thought, _‘Take a deep breath, kiddo. I’ll explain everything soon.’_

_‘I’d really like that explanation_ now _, preferably in bullet points.’_

Shannon laughed again, placing a hand on top of the shorter girl’s head, leaning down to her eye-level, _‘In time, I promise. Let’s walk, I’ve been in here for days waiting for you.’_

Ava wriggled to get Shannon’s hand off her head, a little sister to an older one, _‘Yeah, well, maybe if you popped out to say hi you wouldn’t be so antsy, so…’_ Ava grumbled. Shannon smiled again.

_‘Always one for sass; we’re going to get along just fine.’_ Shannon thought, stepping half into the wall and turning to look back at Ava, _‘You coming?’_

Ava narrowed her eyes at the older woman, eventually following her through the wall.

She stepped through to the other side, eyes immediately falling on the distortion from before.

_‘What is that thing?’_

Shannon looked at the energy, smirking slightly, _‘That’s Ripple.’_

Ava gave Shannon a humorous look, a smile creeping onto her lips, _‘You gave it a name?’_

Shannon turned to Ava, oddly enough Ava saw a lightness in her eyes- fun, _‘Of course. Don’t you name your pets?’_ she replied, beginning to walk out of the room and down the hallway, Ripple trailing behind her.

Ava exhaled a sharp laugh, her head wrapping around the ridiculous concept.

_‘Wait, you can have pets here?!’_ she thought, running after Shannon down the hall, hearing the sound of another’s laughter in her mind.

  
  


~

  
  


Shannon walked in relative silence alongside Ripple and Ava, who was rattling off questions and ideas about their whereabouts without waiting for answers.

_‘Your theories are fascinating, Ava, but I’m afraid I don’t have the answer you’re looking for.’_ Shannon said in response to a theory about being in an ‘alien virtual reality simulation’.

Ava sighed, _‘Well why are you here, then? Aren’t you supposed to be, like, my mentor or something? Supposed to shove me in the right direction?’_

Shannon chuckled, _‘In a way, yes, but not in the way you may think.’_

Ava placed a wispy hand on Shannon’s arm, stopping her in place, _‘Okay, what is with your cryptic non-answers? Why can’t you give me the low-down on ghost-town?’_

Shannon turned to face Ava fully, looking down at her with a more serious look, _‘There is only so much information I can supply you with at a time. Too many details at once may have negative consequences.’_

Ava’s eyes shifted away from Shannon, thinking, _‘Negative like what?’_

Shannon gave a stressed chuckle and pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes, _‘I can’t tell you that.’_

Ava huffed, turning around and pacing around the courtyard, _‘Cool. Fantastic. Love that for me,’_ she started, pausing her movements to place her fingers on the sides of her temples, muttering in her mind, _‘Fucking shit.’_

  
  


_‘Heard that.’_

  
  


_‘Go away.’_

Shannon laughed and walked over to Ava, her hands in her pockets, posture way too casual for where and what they were, _‘I can’t give you the fine details, but I can break down the general concept for you, if you’d like. Maybe that would answer some of your broader questions.’_

Ava sighed, looking up at Shannon, _‘Fine.’_

_‘But, first I have a few questions for you.’_

_‘Oh, god.’_

Shannon smiled, nudging Ava forward so they could walk side by side with Ripple following behind, _‘First question: have you always been this dramatic?’_

Ava rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out, _‘Fuck you, and yes. Next question.’_

Shannon bent slightly with laughter as she walked, thoroughly pleased with the reaction, _‘Okay, second question: have you noticed any strange occurrences, like sight, sound, or touch?’_

Ava’s smile faltered slightly, nodding, _‘Yeah, touch.’_

  
  
  


Shannon slowed to a stop, looking at Ava, _‘Really?’_

Ava stopped a few steps ahead, looking back, _‘Yeah…? Why?’_

Shannon stared at her, lips parted, _‘When did you say you got here, again?’_

Ava’s eyebrows knitted slightly, throwing her arms up, _‘I don’t know, maybe three days ago? I haven’t exactly kept track.’_

Shannon’s eyebrows shot up as she walked forward, stopping next to the shorter girl, _‘I’ve just never heard of something like this before,’_ Shannon thought, nodding to herself gently, _‘Do you know who it is that reaches out to you?’_

Ava paused, chewing her bottom lip, _‘My friend, Beatrice.’_

Shannon’s face changed from confused fascination to knowing realization. Ava didn’t see the shift.

  
  


_‘You two must be close.’_

Ava’s eyes darted to Shannon, to her hands, then to nowhere in particular as she shrugged, _‘I mean she was the first_ nice _one to talk to me out of everyone else, and she helped train me to phase through a_ stupid _amount of rock.’_ Ava walked aimlessly during her thought splurge, away from Shannon, Ripple following her, _‘So I guess, yeah, since we’ve spent a lot of time together. We’re close. Yeah.’_

Ava was still averting her gaze to the opposite side of the courtyard when Shannon smiled lightly, slowly making her way back to Ava.

_‘I suppose I owe you that explanation now.’_ Shannon thought, earning a look from Ava.

_‘Do go on, wise one.’_

Shannon chuckled and began.

_‘So, this is a highly individualized process. The best way I can put the goal of it is: regaining your senses. You’ve already found touch, the next two are sound and sight, in that order.’_

Ava’s eyebrows knitted together, _‘Why would I need to regain my senses if I’m a ghost? I’m pretty sure I’m not even dead.’_

Shannon thought quickly on her feet, overriding any thoughts that could reveal Ava’s specific goal, _‘Think of it this way: whenever you enter this world again, you’ll be able to access the abilities you developed during your time here, now.’_

Ava’s eyes narrowed, accepting the vague suggestion, _‘Okay, continue.’_

_‘Sound is the second sense that you will regain. I should warn you that, because this process is dependent on the person, there is no set amount of time that it takes. Could be a week, could be a month, could be a whole year- depends on your will and how badly you want it.’_

Ava nodded, turning the words over in her head, _‘So, sound is second. Could take forever. Got it.’_

Shannon smiled, continuing, _‘The last and hardest sense to regain is sight; unlike touch and sound, the person has the ability to voluntarily see in the physical world. One can shut their eyes and block out what’s around them, but they cannot stop their feelings of physical touch or their ears from hearing the sounds around them.’_ Shannon licked her lips, shrugging, _‘It’s also the sense that takes in a lot of visual stimuli, so it takes a lot of energy and focus.’_

Ava stopped, hands in her pockets, and sighed, _‘So no time reference, huh? Not even a set deadline?’_

Shannon chuckled, shaking her head, _‘Unfortunately not, though I’m sure the pressure from procrastination would drive you to try harder.’_

_‘Rude.’_

Ava turned to Shannon, her eyes wide, _‘That’s_ really _all you can tell me? No other tips or tricks?’_ she whined, puppy-dog eyes on full display.

Shannon smirked and quirked an eyebrow, reaching out to ruffle Ava’s hair, _‘Nope. We could talk about something else, though.’_

Ava play-scowled, attempting to smooth down the mess of hair and failing, _‘What kind of something?’_

Shannon shrugged, _‘I mean, I know the girls better than you, I know that; I could tell you about them?’_

Ava considered the thought, nodding, _‘Sure, why not.’_

Shannon smiled and sat down on a nearby ledge, beginning. Ripple hovered up next to her, his energy stilling to a low frequency.

_‘Camila is an excellent artist. I’m not sure how she does it, but her hands move like they were possessed by DaVinci. It’s amazing. She’s also really into chemistry and technological stuff. Don’t ask me how those three things mesh together, I couldn’t tell you; I just know that she could whip up a painting and then go create a new compound if she felt like it. And then reprogram a Roomba to chase you around Cat’s Cradle.’_

Ava laughed at the mental image, little Camila soldering and rewiring machines for the sole purpose of terrorizing her sister-warriors.

_‘Very nun-like.’_ Ava thought.

Shannon chuckled, _‘Oh, definitely,’_ she replied, a small smile on her lips, _‘Really though, she’s one of the best; an excellent shot, crossbow or sniper. I’m sure you’ve seen some of her handiwork,’_ Ava nodded, _‘Thought so.’_

Shannon looked up and forward, continuing, _‘She’s one of the kindest of the sister-warriors to date. I’ve never seen someone as generous as her. Once, a little girl landed on our doorstep and she nearly gave her bed up for the floor so she could rest for the night. She always managed to make tense situations just a little more relaxed. She’s a living light.’_

Ava gazed at Shannon, admiration and love shining in her eyes. Their eyes met, and Ava nodded for her to keep going.

Shannon swallowed, _‘Lilith is a force. She’s extremely driven. She became a friend near the end of my life, but she wasn’t always open to friendship with the person she was competing against,’_ Shannon’s eyes flickered, _‘I had empathy for her from the start, knowing that the goal of obtaining the halo was drilled into her by her family. It was a part of her, of course, and it clouded her judgement and decisions, but the pressure she was under- I would have broken. She’s very strong willed, and that comes across as arrogance and bitterness, but she’s much more than that,’_ she paused, letting the words sit in the air, _‘She feels things very deeply and intensely. I’ve seen her grieve over her fallen sister-warriors; she holds so much compassion within her, I just don’t think she knows how to let it out.’_

Ava stared ahead, absorbing the words. Lilith _is_ a force, and Ava saw that in how she fought, how she interacted with young recruits, how she interacted with her sister-warriors. Ava considered their past and all that Shannon said, committing the information to memory. She nodded, and Shannon continued, leaning back on her hands.

_‘Beatrice is wise beyond her years. She’s one of the most dedicated and true of the sister-warriors I’ve ever witnessed. Obsessed with perfection. Extremely skilled: close combat, ranged weapons, aikido- all of it. I’m amazed at her mental capacity to store all of that information in detail,’_ Shannon’s face changed slightly, _‘She, like all of us, has a past. It’s hers and only hers to tell, but I’ll give you the breakdown.’_

Ava shifted on the ledge, facing Shannon more as she spoke.

_‘Her early life was hard. She grew up with money, as you know, but all of the benefits of that came with a catch: her authenticity.’_ Shannon looked at Ava, _‘She trusted herself once and got punished for it. As far as I know, she hasn’t opened up like that again. She’s devout because she says she wants to be closer to God, to save her soul, but I and the others know it's for another reason altogether.’_

Ava settled her head on top of her hand, propping it up, _‘What’s the reason?’_

Shannon smiled sadly, _‘Again, not my story to tell.’_

Ava nodded with understanding, Shannon continued.

_‘She focuses on her capabilities and skills to avoid herself- what’s within. Mary-’_ Shannon paused, her eyes flickering, _‘Mary and I tried to talk to her about it; it didn’t work, so we left her alone.’_ Shannon paused, eyes sad, _‘My last thought on that is this: she’s incredibly strong, remarkably selfless, and loves deeply. I hope she eventually finds someone, nun or not, to show her that she’s allowed to want again.’_

Ava’s face had changed. Curiosity turned to somber awareness of her sisters- of Beatrice. She tried not to think about it too much, and what she did think about, Shannon made no comment.

They sat in a melancholy silence, neither exchanging any thoughts for a few minutes, before Ava had a thought.

_‘Tell me about Mary.’_

Ripple’s distortion picked up in frequency upon hearing the name. Shannon inhaled sharply, her jaw setting, the thoughts being coaxed out of her mind. 

_‘Mary is special. She’s_ very _stubborn and snarky, but she’s also extremely caring. She’s like a burnt marshmallow: rough on the outside, gooey on the inside.’_ Shannon thought, eliciting a chuckle from Ava, _‘She distances herself from the church for the sake of autonomy, and I don’t blame her; my dying breaths were of mistrust of the institution itself. She knows her worth from a hard life of being told she had none. She hides behind curses and her jaded exterior to guard herself from hurt and disappointment, but underneath is a woman with an incredible drive and a huge heart.’_

Ava watched as Shannon’s demeanor changed from reminiscent to mournful.

_‘I told her I loved her all the time, but I never got the chance to tell her everything- all of it. I rode on the way she looked at me, the way she was always there for me, hoping and praying that she understood how much I held her within me.’_ a silent tear ran down Shannon’s cheek, _‘I gave her my pendant the night I was killed as a remembrance, a promise that I’d always be with her. So far, I’ve kept that promise.’_

Ava tilted her head slightly, _‘You can contact her?’_

Shannon gave a small smile and shook her head, _‘Think guardian angel.’_

Ava nodded gently and set her head back in her hand, taking in the information. 

_‘I wouldn’t have guessed that a holy artifact being used by an institution that isn’t very gay friendly would… work… on a lesbian.’_

Shannon looked at Ava, an amused look on her face, _‘It doesn’t discriminate, nor does it have a religion. It just chooses who it feels will serve it best.’_

Ava nodded, _‘A sentient, atheistic chunk of alien metal. Cool.’_

Shannon chuckled and nudged Ava, causing little wisps to appear on both of them.

They sat for a little while longer before Shannon heard a sharp intake of breath.

Ava sat looking at her open hand, her other hand hovering patterns and paths across her palm and down her fingers. She let out a breathy laugh when she felt the sensation of another’s fingers lacing with her own.

_‘Beatrice.’_

Shannon’s eyebrows rose slightly, leaning forward to look at her hand, _‘What’s happening?’_

Ava smiled and shook her head, her eyes not leaving her hand, _‘She’s holding my hand.’_

Shannon’s face didn’t show the knowing feeling she got at the new information, only nodding and leaning back.

_‘It’s good that you’re already experiencing touch, means your connection is strong.’_

Ava’s eyes flicked to Shannon for a moment, her smile lessening and then widening, looking back down at her hand, now gently closed around the sensation.

_‘Yeah, I guess it is.’_

  
  


~

  
  


Adriel stood on the steps of the abandoned church, seemingly admiring the artistic prowess of the architect who constructed the house of worship. Vincent stood nearby, hands crossed in front of him, a shell of a man who once lived- a pawn in a game of fatalistic chess.

A dark tear materialized in the environment several feet away, producing a figure donning a hooded cropped cloak of a purple hue, black armored trousers, and a bo staff.

Vincent’s eyes widened in fear as the figure drew closer, the details of the stranger’s appearance being singed into his brain like a hot brand.

The figure had scarlet scleras, irises nonexistent as though his pupils consumed them. His skin was marred beyond recognition, mouth and lips burned to the point of fusion. He saw that the bo staff was not just that, but carved out of bone with a dangerously sharp point. There was a deep, glowing scar across his chest, reading ‘φοβούμαι’, the written language Vincent recognized as Greek, but could not translate.

The figure stopped short of the two men, removing his hand from his staff, the item unnaturally balancing on its narrow end, completely upright.

‘You said you would be alone.’ the stranger signed, his intimidating stare shifting to Vincent momentarily before refocusing on Adriel.

Adriel smirked smugly, arms crossed behind him as he slowly approached the stranger, too confident, “You needn’t worry about Vincent, he’s a loyal follower.”

The stranger’s eyes squinted imperceptibly, ‘I do not like the potential for weak links.’ he signed, looking back at Vincent, who gazed back with a combination of curiosity and fear.

Adriel’s smirk widened into a toothy grin, raising a hand up in a faux-shrug, “Luckily that is not any of your concern, demon, seeing as you serve me.”

The stranger’s stare shifted sharply to Adriel, his pupils contracting, ‘Watch your tone, angel.’

Adriel barked a laugh, lazily pacing back and forth in front of the stranger, “Oh, come now Apollyon, I’m only joking. Of course we are equals, that’s the reason I’ve called you here today.”

Apollyon tilted his head to the side slightly, squinting as he signed, ‘Get to the point.’

Adriel nodded, “I need your eyes on a group of interest. Nuns specializing in demon extinction. Their star warrior is down for the count at this point in time, and I want you to look after them, note any new developments. If a change occurs, you report back to me; otherwise, you stay in whatever position you take and keep watch.”

Apollyon gave no reaction, considering the offer, ‘What is the reward for this mission?’

Adriel side-eyed the demon, his head following after, “A throne beside mine at the end of it all, of course,” Apollyon’s eyes shifted between both of Adriel’s, “I know how much you crave something like that, knowing your history.”

The demon’s pupils contracted violently, lines forming on his scarred forehead, staring down the fallen angel. Vincent’s hands began trembling at the sight.

‘You have a deal.’ Apollyon signed, hand returning to his enchanted bo staff.

Adriel smiled devilishly, clapping his hands together loudly, “Brilliant. I expect a full report should anything arise. I take it you need no help in locating them?”

Apollyon had already turned around and begun walking away, raising a hand to sign his response. 

‘Leave me to it, angel.’ he responded, opening up another rip in the fabric of spacetime, disappearing from sight.

Adriel turned to Vincent, whose mouth was hanging open, speechless, “Oh, relax, Vincent; now we can wait with confidence.”

Vincent closed his mouth and shook his head, swallowing, “I don’t like him. Something doesn’t feel right.”

Adriel rolled his eyes, setting a heavy hand on Vincent’s shoulder, “Don’t worry about _him_. He is a tool in my grand scheme; I can just as easily put him away as I’ve drawn him out,” Adriel gave a sinister grin, “Have _faith,_ _Father_.”

Vincent released a shuddering breath, nodding in compliance, “Yes, master.”

Adriel’s eyes shone with confidence, patting Vincent on the shoulder before removing his hand. Returning to his former examination of their chosen location, he studied the curves and angles of the cut stone.

Vincent stood, visibly shaken by the meeting, his eyes traveling back to the spot where Apollyon disappeared.

Adriel felt confident- smug- in this plan.

Vincent only felt a growing sense of dread.

  
  


~

  
  


Beatrice stood in the hall of the ARQTech medical unit as the night progressed, looking into Ava’s room, her arms crossed.

The nurse techs had cleaned her off and changed her into a standard hospital gown. Beatrice’s eyes followed the myriad of wires hooked up to her heart, back, temples, fingers, all monitoring the ebb and flow of energy, both natural and supernatural within the halo bearer. The small tube traveling up her nose and into her stomach flowed with a cloudy liquid, containing the baseline necessary nutrients to sustain her body without extra waste. The saline drip was hooked up to her right arm on the far side of the bed, providing her with necessary electrolytes to keep what little brain activity was discovered steadily maintained.

Mary approached from down the hall, “Hey.”

Beatrice glanced at her, responding quietly, “Hey.”

Mary looked briefly through the window in Ava’s room before returning to Beatrice, “We need to talk about a couple things.”

Beatrice exhaled, her eyes flickering, “Can’t it wait?”

“Not really,” Mary started, sliding her hands into her coat pockets, “I’m hearing talk about the Swiss Guard being dispatched to find the halo. Duretti’s orders.”

Beatrice closed her eyes, her jaw clenching, “Great.”

Mary’s eyes searched the younger woman’s face, “I’ve been thinking,” she started, Beatrice fixing her posture, “Since this could get ugly, maybe we should consider relocating the halo-”

“Absolutely not.” Beatrice’s gaze was fixed on Mary, hard. Mary exhaled.

“Beatrice, she’s in the most advanced medical facility in the country. If anyone can keep her up and running without it-”

“My final answer is _no_.”

Mary persisted, “Look- we’ve gone through this before, with Shannon. Even then you agreed that it had to be done.”

Beatrice turned back to the window, staring at Ava, “To be fair, Mary, Ava is still alive; Shannon was hanging by a thread.”

Mary bristled at the comparison, her guard going up.

“Alright, forget it.” she responded, promptly turning around and walking down the hall.

Beatrice shut her eyes and exhaled sharply, licking her lips and turning in the direction Mary was storming, “Mary,” she started, picking up pace to catch up with the older woman, “Mary, stop.”

Mary stopped abruptly, her shoulders visibly rising and falling with the intensity of her breathing. Beatrice rounded on her, taking in her pissed off demeanor.

“That was insensitive, I’m sorry. This is extremely stressful for me- for all of us,” she started, Mary’s expression softening slightly at her subtle slip, “We can’t take the halo out, it’s what revived her and what’s keeping her alive.” she added, Mary’s arms coming up to fold across her chest.

Beatrice continued, “Camila and I, with Jillian’s help, concluded that Ava is in some sort of… spirit world, somehow.”

Mary’s eyebrows knitted, “What does that mean?”

Beatrice shook her head, “Jillian called it a ‘deeply meditative state’; Ava’s low frequency brainwaves are functioning at a normal rate, in spite of her presumed comatose status. She said those are the ones usually active during deep sleep, when the body is healing,” she paused, thinking, “We think the halo is a part of it, grounding her there- wherever she is. For what reasons, we don’t know. We all agree that, if we want her back, we should wait it out for her.”

Mary chewed her bottom lip in thought, fleshing out the information, “That makes sense enough, I guess,” she sighed, “Not that anything has to anymore.”

Beatrice gave a small smile, placing a hand on Mary’s arm, urging her to turn back around so they could both walk back towards Ava’s room.

They eventually settled in front of the window, Mary’s arms crossed, Beatrice’s hands in her pockets.

“Can I ask you something?”

Mary turned to the younger woman, “Yeah, shoot.”

Beatrice exhaled, “You and Shannon were together, weren’t you. Like _together._ ”

It wasn’t a question. Mary nodded and turned back to the window, “Yeah.”

Beatrice was silent for a beat, thinking, “How did you two navigate that, with everything?”

Mary tilted her head to the side, “We just let whatever happened happen. I stood by her, she would come to me when she wanted. She called the major shots, I didn’t want to ruffle anything to do with her nun duties.”

Beatrice didn’t respond, letting the words fade away as the seconds passed.

“I’ve been thinking,” she started, Mary glancing out of the corner of her eye, “After the explosion, my immediate thought was excommunication for all of us. Something of that magnitude can’t be undone,” she paused, letting the words sink in, “I haven’t put my habit back on because it feels wrong, especially after that night. My head and heart still lie with God, but I feel unworthy of calling myself his faithful servant after a stunt like that. I don’t know what that all means for me.”

Mary stared at Beatrice for a bit, silent, holding back the other bit of news she caught wind of.

She exhaled, “I guess that’s up to you to reflect on; let it marinate,” she replied, earning a small smile from Beatrice at the odd choice of words, “Whatever you end up choosing, we’ll be here for you. I said we’re a family, and I mean that.”

Beatrice looked at Mary, a small smile on her lips as she reached forward and pulled the older woman into a hug, Mary squeezing her affectionately.

“Thank you.” Beatrice whispered, Mary rubbing a hand on her back.

“Anytime, kid.”

They pulled away, Beatrice’s eyes falling on Lilith approaching them, “Hey.”

Lilith gave a small smile, “Hey,” she turned to Mary, her eyes shifting between the two of them, “I was wondering if either of you wanted to join Camila and I for dinner, the cafeteria will be closing soon.”

Beatrice shook her head, “I’m alright, thank you though.”

Mary’s eyebrows raised at her response, turning to Lilith, “Definite _yes_ from me, I’m starving,” she replied, Lilith’s eyes sparkling, “I gotta catch you two up on some stuff, anyway,” she turned back to Beatrice, “Promise me you’ll at least get some sleep tonight, can’t have you wasting away out here in the hall.”

Beatrice smiled and nodded lightly, “I promise.”

Mary gave her a smile, turning to walk away. Lilith and her walked side by side, eventually linking their arms and steps falling into sync. Beatrice watched with admiration.

She turned back to the window, to Ava, and sighed. She stood there for a few more moments before moving to open the door, stepping inside.

Down the hall, Lilith’s eyes shifted to Mary, “How is she doing?”

Mary chuckled slightly, “Which one?”

Lilith stopped, their linked arms coming undone at the action, “I’m serious. I’m concerned about her, it looks to be eating her from the inside out.”

Mary exhaled, searching Lilith’s unusually softened features, “It is, I’m just trying to keep her away from the edge.”

Lilith gave a small, sad smile, nodding softly. She re-hooked their arms, urging Mary to continue walking, “What else did you talk about?”

Mary shrugged, “Personal stuff, I don’t really want to get into it,” she glanced at Lilith, who nodded silently, “And not-personal stuff. Camila can help explain part of it, the other is kind of... big.”

Lilith looked at Mary, eyebrows knitted in concern, “How big?”

Mary chewed the inside of her cheek, “Let’s get food first, we can talk more when we sit down with ‘Mil.”

Lilith blinked, her expression weary, and nodded softly. 

They moved through the food line, receiving the underwhelming trio of grilled chicken breast, sauteed broccoli, and steamed brown rice.

“Good lord,” Mary muttered, disappointed at the presented options but grateful for the free food. Lilith smiled at her comment, receiving her own tray. They walked over to Camila, who had already gotten through half of her dinner.

“Hey- sorry, I couldn’t wait any longer,” she said, a napkin hovering in front of her mouth as she finished chewing, “What’s up?”

Mary’s eyebrows raised as she shrugged, “Just want to get all the details out so we’re on the same page,” Mary started, adding salt to her no-doubt underseasoned meal, “Do you want to share what you and Bea discovered with Jillian?”

Camila’s eyebrows rose suddenly, nodding enthusiastically, “Sure.”

Camila broke down their conversation with Lilith; the brainwaves, the spirit world, all of it.

Lilith sat, silent, her eyes fixed on the table in thought.

“Honestly, it sounds entirely tangible. I mean, I was dragged to hell and made my way back. We assume there’s a heaven, and I know there’s a hell; who’s to say there isn’t a middle ground- a purgatory or limbo?” she responded, unwrapping her utensils and jabbing a broccoli floret.

Mary stilled her hands, taking in Lilith’s words, “I think, at this point, we should just wipe all of our pre-existing knowledge on what the church teaches. Clearly they don’t know shit.”

Camila shook her head, “I disagree. Obviously, the afterlife exists, so that much is true. Plus, the OCS’s mission of ridding the world of evil is worth something, even if the information we use to get there is wrong,” she took a forkful of rice, talking around it, “And I’m glad to be a part of something like that.”

Mary’s eyes shifted away from Camila then down to her plate, “Yeah, I gotta talk to you guys about that.”

Camila cut off a piece of chicken, “About what? The OCS?”

Mary shifted her jaw and nodded, “Yeah.”

Camila waved her fork in a ‘continue’ motion. Lilith sat alarmingly still.

“You all have been excommunicated.”

Everyone at the table froze entirely.

  
  


“And I’ve been kicked out of operations.”

  
  


Camila’s fork clattered to the metal table, Lilith’s gaze shifting to the other side of the table. Her eyes flickered around developing tears, her jaw slack in shock.

  
  


“What?”

It was barely a whisper, but it struck Lilith square in the chest. 

She made her way around the table, embracing Camila from behind as the younger girl cried.

Mary looked down at her plate, suddenly not very hungry, “I’m so sorry, ‘Mil. I know how much this meant to you.”

Camila’s shoulders jumped with each sob, but she shook her head, “It’s not your fault,” she stuttered, a hand coming up to cover her sister’s comforting arms.

Lilith squeezed Camila, placing her forehead against the back of the other girl’s head, “We’re going to be fine, ‘Mila. We know our purpose and our mission, it lives within us. We don’t need the OCS to know that.”

Camila closed her eyes and nodded gently, exhaling a shaky breath to calm herself, “You’re right,” she said, leaning to the side to look Lilith in the eyes, “And we have each other,” she added, turning to Mary and smiling. Mary smiled back as Camila finished her thought.

“We have our family.”

  
  


~

  
  


Beatrice had taken a seat next to Ava’s bed, moving the chair to be right up next to her left side.

She hadn’t moved, hadn’t made any touches to the fragile girl before her. She just watched, in the stillness of the late night hour, for a sign that she was here. She spoke at half past the second hour.

“You changed my life, you know,” she started, hands fidgeting with nerves, “Your sudden presence was like having a chair ripped out from underneath me. I’ve never felt a friend-” she cut herself off, her eyes falling down to her hands, “... a friendship like this before.”

She looked back up at the halo bearer, Ava’s head tilted slightly to the side, likely from the movements and set up of the tubes and wires. Beatrice smiled, continuing.

“You unsettle me. You’re impulsive and selfish an-and-” Beatrice let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head, “And I can’t seem to get you out of my head. Believe me, I’ve tried, but it’s like you’ve set up camp and refuse to leave,” she chewed her bottom lip, “I don’t think I want you to.”

She extended her fidgeting hands to calm them, reaching forward to grasp one of Ava’s, the oximeter attached to her finger intruding on the affectionate touch.

Beatrice was silent for a while, just holding Ava’s hand with both of her own, stroking the back of her palm.

After a few minutes, she closed her eyes, an original prayer fell from her lips.

“God, Father, hear my prayer. Guide Ava back to us, show her your way. Keep her safe on her journey, protect her from any evil that may seek to harm her. Tell her her friends are waiting for her, that we’ll never leave her.”

Beatrice opened her eyes, the final lines a whisper on the tip of her tongue.

“Tell her that I need her, I need my friend by my side.”

She concluded the prayer with a slow sign of the cross, exhaling.

She sat like that beside Ava for the rest of the night, eventually dozing off into a deep sleep- the halo’s faint glow growing just a bit brighter.

  
  


~

  
  


_Thud._

  
  


_Woosh._

  
  


_Thud._

  
  


_Woosh._

  
  


_Thud._

  
  


Ava threw the reappearing spectral rock across the hilly field behind Cat’s Cradle, playing fetch with Ripple. Shannon lied back on the ghostly grass, legs crossed and hands behind her head, the pale blue sun casting a glow against her wispy appearance.

Ava sighed, turning to the older woman, _‘Are there others? There’s no way it’s just you and me,’_ she thought, the little energy ball coming up to her side, vibrating with excitement at their game, _‘... and Ripple.’_

Shannon leaned her head up towards Ava, smiling before lying back down, _‘That’s for me to know and for you to find out.’_

Ava rolled her eyes, _'Isn't there a passage about knocking and a door opening or something? Because I'm knocking. You should open the door.'_

Shannon smiled, shaking her head as she quoted Matthew 7:7, _‘“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”’_ she peeked at Ava with one eye, _‘It says it_ will _be opened, doesn’t say when.’_

Ava huffed, picking up the translucent rock once again and flinging it with more force than before, Ripple dashing to it’s far off location.

Suddenly, Ava froze, mentally unable to move at the new sensation.

She had already felt the warm touch around her hand, but this was a new level entirely.

  
  


She heard a voice.  
  


_“... I can’t seem to get you out of my head. Believe me, I’ve tried, but it’s like you’ve set up camp and refuse to leave,”_

  
  


_‘Beatrice.’_

_“... I don’t think I want you to.”_

Ava dropped down to her knees, her hands curling against her chest. 

Then she heard a prayer.

_“God, Father, hear my prayer. Guide Ava back to us, show her your way. Keep her safe on her journey, protect her from any evil that may seek to harm her. Tell her her friends are waiting for her, that we’ll never leave her side.”_

She closed her eyes, her smile larger than any preceding it, a joyful laugh escaping her spectral soul.

_“Tell her that I need her. Tell her that I need my friend by my side.”_

Ava gasped, her spiritual eyes filling with tears. She laughed as she cried, overjoyed and overwhelmed with emotion to hear a voice- Beatrice’s voice.

Her Beatrice.

Shannon was already standing, rushing over to Ava and dropping down onto her knees, _‘What is it? What’s wrong?’_

Ava smiled and shook her head, _‘Nothing. Nothing’s wrong,’_ she opened her teary eyes, meeting Shannon’s gaze, _‘I hear her. I hear Beatrice.’_

Shannon’s expression changed from concern to joy, a laugh of her own escaping her. She tucked a strand of hair behind Ava’s ear, pulling the younger girl to her in a loving embrace. 

They both laughed, Ava indulging her happy sobs as Shannon rested her cheek against the top of Ava’s head, gasping through her own emotional buildup.

_‘You’re going to make it, Ava.’_ she said, tears of her own beginning to fall, realizing more and more what this could mean- for everything. 

_‘You’re going to make it back to her.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things r starting... to pick up. to say the least aksjdkasj leave ur thoughts below in a comment and drop a kudos to show me some love! <3


	5. someone you have to let in, someone whose feelings you spare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- song insps: Learn To Fly by Foo Fighters, Burn Out by Imagine Dragons, Circle by Slipknot, Always in My Head by Coldplay  
> \- remember to drop a kudos and leave a comment at the end, i love your feedback <3  
> \- enjoy!

They sat like that for a bit, Shannon holding Ava as she recounted the prayer in her mind on repeat. They eventually lied back into the glowing grass, their thoughts going quiet. Ava’s head was tilted on Shannon’s shoulder, Shannon’s hand behind her own head, Ripple as still as the non-existent air next to her.

_‘Thank you.’_

Shannon’s head shifted slightly in Ava’s direction, _‘What for?’_

_‘Staying with me. Listening. The… hugging.’_ Ava thought, waving her hands as she got the last bit out, causing Shannon to smile, _‘It felt human. So, yeah, thanks.’_

Shannon’s head shifted back to its original position, _‘Friends comfort friends, I’m glad to do it.’_

Ava sat up on her elbows, a mischievous glint in her eye, _‘So, we’re officially friends now.’_

Shannon peeked out of the corner of her eye, a smirk on her lips, _‘Don’t push your luck, Silva.’_

Ava smiled, wiggling in place slightly before her next statement, _‘So.’_

  
  


_‘So.’_

  
  


_‘I’m knocking on the door again.’_

  
  


Shannon let out a dramatic sigh, pulling herself up to sit criss-crossed, shoulders hunched over with her elbows on her knees, _‘Seeing as you’re now_ hearing _things, I guess I should open it for you.’_

Ava kicked her legs in excitement, Ripple’s frequency picking up at her energy, _‘Tell me, tell me.’_

Shannon smiled, beginning her explanation, _‘So, to answer your question: yes, there are others here. To deflate your enthusiasm: you can’t meet them_ _just_ _yet.’_

Ava groaned, her head falling back in frustration, _‘What? Why not?’_

Shannon shrugged, _‘You’re able to feel and hear, which is fantastic especially at the rate you’re going, but those are focused solely on you… How do I explain this,’_ Shannon paused, sighing, tapping her finger against her chin, _‘So, there’s usually two stages to regaining sight: your spectral sight and your true sight.’_

Ava gave her a look, _‘Couldn’t have mentioned this in the other breakdown? You just had to save it for right now?’’_

Shannon smirked, _‘Details.’_

_‘DetAiLs.’_

  
  
  


_‘You know I can hear you right?’_

_‘Oh, definitely. Please continue, sensei.’_

Shannon laughed, _‘Your spectral sight comes first, it allows you to see the other warrior nuns from before you, here in this world.’_

Ava’s eyes widened with excitement, _‘Oh my god, you never said it would be the past_ _warrior nuns! What the hell, Shannon that’s huge!’_ Ava smiled before a slight shift, _‘But wait, don’t I already technically have that? I mean, I’m able to see you.’_

Shannon shook her head, a small smile on her lips, _‘Whoever the former warrior nun was is assigned to the current as a mentor for this process, it buffers any potential generational disconnect and lapses in communication. Because I was assigned to you, you seeing me is not dependent on that ability.’_

Ava’s eyebrows knitted, exhaling, _‘Okay, fair. That makes sense.’_

Shannon nodded, continuing, _‘By unlocking your spectral sight, you’ll be able to speak to them, learn from their stories. That knowledge you gain will aid you in developing your true sight into the living world.’_ she thought, holding back any indication of the emotional connection required for this.

Ava nodded in understanding, cueing Shannon to continue.

_‘Your true sight comes after that; it’s the final and most difficult stage in this process, and requires a big deal of focus and dedication.’_

  
  


_‘So no pressure.’_

Shannon smiled, _‘Nope, none at all.’_

Ava sighed, rolling the information over in her mind, slowly nodding, _‘Okay, so how do I activate my ghost eyes?’_

Shannon chuckled, standing and offering a hand to the younger woman, _‘By training.’_

Ava made a face, _‘You’re kidding right? Please tell me you’re kidding.’_

_‘Okay: I’m kidding.’_

Ava quickly sat up fully, _‘Really?’_

Shannon smirked slightly, _‘No.’_

Ava plopped her wispy body back down onto the grass, groaning, _‘Asshole,’_ Shannon’s smirk grew at the comment, _‘Even in my pure soul form I can’t escape physical exertion.’_

Shannon shook her head, reaching down to pull Ava up by her hands, _‘Nope, but if it’s any consolation, part of it is mental training.’_

  
  


_‘Somehow, you made it worse.’_

Shannon laughed as they made their way back towards the training grounds, Ripple trailing behind them.

  
  


~

  
  


Mary pushed open the door to Ava’s room, her eyes taking in the scene before her.

Beatrice was sitting in a chair pushed right up to Ava’s bed, her head and arms propped up on the hospital mattress, her fingers loosely grasping Ava’s hand.

Mary smiled gently, noting the way Ava’s hand was a breath away from Beatrice’s lips, as though their proximity allowed Beatrice to breathe.

She sighed, having spared enough personal affection for the two, and pulled out a snack-sized bag of trail mix from her coat pocket, effectively chucking it at Beatrice’s head.

Beatrice woke with a jolt, her bleary eyes scanning around the room for the source of the disturbance. Her eyes fell on Mary, arms crossed and hand over her mouth, trying to stifle her laughter.

Beatrice groaned, her hands pulling away from Ava to stretch her stiff muscles. 

“What is wrong with you?” she muttered, only causing Mary to laugh harder.

“Felt a little too warm and fuzzy, needed to kick it before it got worse.” she replied. Beatrice scoffed as she stood up, flexing and extending her knees to loosen up her legs.

She picked up the snack pack, holding it up to Mary, “What’s this for?” she yawned, a hand coming up to cover her mouth.

“You. I don’t think you’ve eaten since the last one of those yesterday. No wasting away, remember?” Mary replied, fixing her crossed arms.

Beatrice tore off a corner, pouring the snack mix into her hand, clicking her tongue in recognition, “Right. Thanks.” 

Mary’s eyes shifted to the halo bearer, then back to Beatrice, “I take it you slept here.”

Beatrice looked up at Mary, her eyes flickering back down to the bag, “Yes.” she said quietly. 

Mary nodded slowly, connecting the dots in her head, “Anything happen?”

Beatrice shook her head, “No, not that I’m aware of.”

Mary hummed, her hands sliding into her pockets, “You feeling alright?”

Beatrice nodded gently, “Yes, better than yesterday, at least.” she replied, now opting to tip back the bag so the contents fell into her mouth. 

They stood like that for a few moments, silent aside from Beatrice munching on the last bit of trail mix.

There was a knock at the door, the handle turning gently as Jillian’s face appeared in the crack.

“Good morning.” she said, stepping into the room.

“Morning.” they both replied.

Jillian folded her hands in front of her, “Have there been any changes?” she asked, slowly rounding the bed to check Ava’s fluids.

Beatrice shook her head again, “No.”

Jillian nodded, “All things in due time.” she said, giving Beatrice a reassuring smile.

Beatrice nodded, her eyes shifting to Ava as she reached a hand out to grasp the bearer’s, “Yes, I suppose.”

Jillian's eyes traveled elsewhere, though, and that was to the small monitor positioned next to the right side of the bed.

“What is that?” she whispered.

Beatrice’s eyebrows knitted as she moved around to the other side of the bed, “What is what?”

Jillian pointed to the halo’s energy output, once peaked and now falling.

“The halo is conducting more energy somehow,” she replied quietly, having a sudden thought. She looked down at Ava’s hand, and touched it.

Nothing.

“Huh,” she said, another thought popping into her head, turning to Beatrice, “Touch her hand again, the one you were holding before.”

Beatrice blinked, proceeding to walk around the bed, and grasped Ava’s hand.

Also nothing.

Jillian’s mouth twitched with confusion, standing up straight at the results of the mini experiment, “Strange. A surge from the healing process I suppose,” she said, turning back towards the other two women, “This is a learning experience for us, too, after all.”

Beatrice nodded slowly, removing her hand from Ava’s, confusion still bouncing around in her head.

“Well,” Jillian started, moving back around the bed and towards the door, “We shall continue through the waiting period. She can’t stay in there forever.” she added, glancing at Ava before looking back at the two other women, “I’ll be in my office. If you have any questions or,” she waved her hands in a silly manner, “theories and you’d like to share, feel free to pop in.” she finished, flashing a smile.

Beatrice nodded with more confidence, “We will. Thank you.”

Mary gave a nod, “Ditto.”

Jillian took her leave, the door closing quietly behind her.

Beatrice and Mary looked at each other, Mary shrugging dramatically.

Beatrice shook her head to clear her thoughts, her stomach audibly grumbling.

Mary’s eyes moved to the source of the noise, smirking, “C’mon, the cafeteria is still serving breakfast, let’s get you a legit meal.”

Beatrice smiled, nodding, “Alright.”

They exited the room and walked down the hall to the cafeteria, Beatrice’s eyes settling on Lilith and Camila, already seated and eating.

Mary and her gathered their own meals- scrambled eggs, oatmeal, and fruit- and headed to the semi-populated table.

“Good morning.” Camila chirped, popping a grape into her mouth.

Lilith smiled at them, “Morning.”

Beatrice smiled back, “Hey.” she replied.

“Ah, shit,” Mary muttered, “Forgot the coffee.” she said louder, stepping out of the benched table to go retrieve a cup.

Camila closed her eyes and shook her head.

Beatrice stabbed a forkful of eggs, looking up in amusement at her semi-distressed sister, “No correction today, Camila?”

Camila opened her eyes, a small smile on her lips as she sighed, “I’ve decided that it’s better for my health if I just… let her say what she wants.”

Lilith chuckled, “It’s not like she’s ever complied to your requests.”

Camila gave a breathy laugh, “It was worth a shot at the time,” she replied, her face dropping a little, “I guess it doesn’t matter much anymore.”

Beatrice’s eyebrows knitted slightly as she took a spoonful of oatmeal, “What do you mean?”

Camila and Lilith looked at her with worried expressions, their eyes shifting to Mary as she sat back down.

“Okay, what did I miss?” she said curiously, looking up to be met with loaded stares, “What?”

“You didn’t tell her?” Lilith asked quietly.

“Tell her wh-” Mary remembered, "Oh." _That_ news.

Beatrice looked between the three of them, her confusion rising, “Tell me _what_?”

Camila placed her utensils down gently, folding her hands in her lap.

“We’ve been excommunicated,” she looked up at Beatrice’s face, now drained, “All of us.”

Beatrice thought she was going to throw up.

She stood up abruptly, stepping away from the table.

Mary stood, “Bea-”

“Please, just-” Beatrice held up a hand, walking in the direction of the bathroom, not finishing her thought as the taste of bile crept up her throat.

She stumbled into the bathroom, crashing open a stall door and falling to her knees. 

She vomited until nothing else came up, eventually standing weakly as she made her way over to the sinks.

She braced herself against the counter, looking up at her reflection in the mirror.

There were bags under her eyes, the capillaries around them having popped from the force of her heaving. 

She looked tired. Too tired.

She turned the faucet on, cupping her hands under the stream to swish and get rid of the sour taste in her mouth. She splashed her face with the cool water, trying to calm herself down.

She closed her eyes and tried to think, her hands placed on either side of the sink, letting the remnants of water drip off of her face.

_‘What does this mean for you?’_ she thought.

_‘No more purpose.’_ she replied to herself, her heart sinking.

The OCS, her devotion to God- it meant nothing. Not anymore. She was just another person in the world, nothing special; ordinary.

Her chin quivered as she let out a shaky breath, trying to control her physical reaction to the news.

All of the work she’s done over the years, all of her promises she made to herself, ripped away from her in a single second. A tear escaped her full eyes, dripping into the sink.

She cried silently for a few minutes, grieving any sort of eternal life she once thought she would have. Grieving her purpose in life.

_‘Stop.’_ she thought, _‘Think harder.’_

She looked up at herself again, forcing herself to focus.

_‘God does not live within the church, He lives within me- within all of us.’_

She blinked, staring harder at her reflection.

_‘My purpose is greater than an institution. God works through me.’_

She exhaled, her breathing slowing.

_‘What is your current goal?’_

  
  


Her face changed when the thought hit her.

  
  


_‘Ava.’_

She stood up fully, the light above her casting down on her like a spotlight on a stage.

_‘Why Ava?’_

  
  


Her heart picked up its pace.

  
  


_‘She’s everything.’_

  
  


A small smile formed on her lips. Maybe this was meant to happen, losing the chains of the church; it gave her the freedom to choose. 

_‘I have to be strong for her, for all of us; they need me, and I need them.’_

She gave a nod to her reflection, making her final decision.

  
  


_‘For Ava.’_

  
  


And she was going to fight tooth and nail to make sure she gets her back.

  
  


~

  
  


Lilith turned to the figure appearing from the restrooms, her eyes falling on Beatrice taking slow steps back towards the table. She got up and met her halfway.

“Are you alright?” she asked, receiving a nod, “Beatrice, I’m so sorry.”

Beatrice smiled sadly and shrugged, “I was expecting it at some point, it’s not your fault. It hits differently when someone else says it, if that wasn’t already obvious.” she replied, a sliver of humor in her eyes.

Lilith smiled back, pulling Beatrice into a tight embrace. Beatrice held her just as hard.

“We’re a family,” she whispered into Beatrice’s hair, feeling a nod against her, “We’ll never leave you, even if we’re being pains.”

She felt the shake of soft laughter from the body against hers, shifting her head so that her chin rested on Beatrice’s shoulder.

Beatrice shifted slightly, “I love you, Lilith.” she whispered, receiving a squeeze in response.

“I love you too, Beatrice. We all do.”

They pulled back from each other, exchanging smiles. Lilith draped an arm across Beatrice’s shoulders as they strolled back to the table, Camila smiling at their newly comfortable state, Mary leaning back on a hand.

“I meant to tell you sooner.”

Beatrice waved her hand in the air, “It doesn’t matter anymore, I’ve made peace with reality,” she stated, “Our goals have not changed, we’re still going to work to get Ava back, and we’re still going to continue our fight against evil- OCS or not.”

Camila’s smile lit up the room as she jumped up and hugged Beatrice, overflowing with love and admiration for her older sister. She pulled back, looking at Mary and Lilith and then back at Beatrice.

“Aye aye, captain.” she said, throwing up a salute, eliciting a laugh from Beatrice.

Lilith chuckled and mimicked Camila, saluting Beatrice, “Me too.”

“Me three.” Mary said, her salute the most relaxed, consisting of only two fingers.

They all laughed, Beatrice nodding in final agreement, “It’s settled then, we continue as normal.”

The air around them relaxed as they returned to the original mood of the morning.

“So, I was thinking,” Camila started, taking her original spot, “We should do some research, see if anything anywhere has any details on something like Ava’s situation.”

Beatrice tilted her head to the side, “We’ve already checked the archives, though.”

Camila’s mouth twitched, “I was thinking,” she looked to Lilith before refocusing on Beatrice, “... of something a little outside of the box.”

Beatrice leaned her head on top of her hand, inquiring, “What did you have in mind?”

Smiling, Camila delved into her ideas.

  
  


~

  
  


_His hands were bound behind his back, a tarask on either side holding him up by each arm as his feet dragged along the infernal ridge._

_He was badly beaten, one hundred and fifty lashes with a whip tipped with the scales of hellhounds. The gashes lining his back oozed both blood and ichor, an indication of his mixed lineage. His mouth had been sealed with a piece of white-hot metal, gagging him._

_The tarasks dragging his sluggish body approached a grand figure, possessing three heads, each one of different beings, seated upon a throne constructed of the bones of the lustful._

_The tarasks came to a halt, dropping him onto his knees as he slumped over, exhausted. The figure leaned forward, his human set of eyes fixing on the tattered prisoner._

_“_ **_Do you know why you are presented here, fallen one?_ ** _” the figure asked, his voice filling every inch of Hell around them._

_The prisoner did not move immediately, though eventually looking up at the figure, his eyes alarmingly bloodshot._

_The figure sat back, waving a hand at the tarasks to answer the question._

_“The fallen angel is guilty of rebellion against Asmodai, Prince of the Second Circle of Hell.” they stated in unison, their voices representing that of millions of rocks being scraped against each other._

_Asmodai stared down the prisoner, standing up fully in his enormous height. He traveled down the steps of his throne slowly, his serpent tail swishing with each step, contemplating a proper punishment for such a heinous crime._

_He knelt down in front of the prisoner, still slumped over, and placed a gigantic finger under his chin, forcing his eyes to meet the dark, soulless voids of his own._

_“_ **_You attempted to usurp my throne, angel. That is a crime of the highest order._ ** _” he said. The prisoner did not respond, staring emptily at the dark prince he betrayed._

_Asmodai removed his hand with disgust, letting the prisoner’s head drop and turning around to walk back up the steps to his throne, “_ **_You shall be sentenced to burn in hellfire for seven days and seven nights. Your mangled corpse will be hung up at the gates of my circle of Hell as a reminder for those who dissent my reign,_ ** _” the figure boomed, each set of eyes fixing a threatening gaze at the prisoner, “_ **_As a reminder that the weak cannot rule._ ** _”_

_The prisoner’s head shot up, his pupils contracting to pinpoints as he forced his way into each of Asmodai’s heads, the sounds of mad voices filling the king’s minds._

  
  


_“_ **_The bounds of my power are beyond your comprehension. Soon, it will be you hung at the gates, and your throne will be mine._ ** _”_

  
  


_The prince tilted his human head up, looking down his nose at the angel’s thought. He waved a hand in the air, signalling the tarasks to pick him up as they did before._

_“_ **_Apollyon, the Fallen, your sentence begins now,_ ** _” Asmodai nodded at the tarasks as they bowed, turning to drag Apollyon away, “_ **_Take him to the pit._ ** _”_

_Apollyon did not struggle, knowing his journey did not end here or at the fiery pit._

_He bathed in the flames, allowing his demonic fate to be fulfilled as his body became distorted and ugly, the marks of the whip permanently scarring into his flesh. The metal plate covering his lips liquefied in the heat, melting away any indication of a mouth he had before, muting him for eternity._

_He did not scream, nor did he convulse; he reveled in the hellfire aiding in his evolutionary shift._

_A chimera of the most egregious kind, a product of the perversions of the divine and mythical, his purpose was none other than to unleash chaos upon the worlds with which he collided._

_At the end of the seventh night, Asmodai himself came to the edge of the fiery pit to witness the product of his own malice. He was met with shock, an ancient fear he had not felt in eons dragging up from the depths of his mind as each set of eyes focused on the fallen angel, now a demon, standing in the center of the pit._

_He looked up, his scarlet red eyes burning a hole in the minds of Asmodai, his pupils dilating in focus._

  
  


_“_ **_You cannot kill that which you did not create._ ** _”_

  
  


_A black tear materialized behind him as he stepped into the void, disappearing from sight._

_Apollyon was never seen in Hell again._

  
  
  


The memory lives within him every second that passes in his infernal life, a constant reminder of his ultimate goal.

After his meeting with Adriel, Apollyon stepped into the void, redirecting his energy into finding the general location of the group of interest.

The universal fabric opened up to a dirt road in a desolate, mountainous location, no buildings in sight for miles. The location was awash with reds, oranges, and yellows, a product of his vision’s transformation to an infra-red spectrum on account of his unnatural, hellish origins.

After some time, a compound came into view, grand and plain in its appearance. Apollyon approached the stone structure, the gates before the heavy wooden door possessing three letters:

**O. C. S.**

His eyes shifted to the center of the doors, reaching forward as he phased through the iron and wood, his figure highlighted by little glowing embers.

He stepped inside of the large entrance space, his vision adjusting to ultraviolet blues and purples due to the environmental temperature shift. He slowly examined the room, taking in the cool blues of the holy idols and relics set up on walls and shelves.

It was completely empty, not a soul in sight on account of Pope Durretti halting all OCS operations after the catastrophic events during his officiation.

Apollyon walked through the training hall and down the hall lined with dorms. He ran his scarred fingertips across the cool stone walls, reading the energy of the sanctified living quarters.

He found himself drawn into a room off to the left, phasing through the door with zero effort. His eyes scanned the space, the bed, the desk, the window, his eyes trailing over to the wall beside the bed, focusing on the squares stuck against the wall.

He slowly approached, his demonic eyes unable to make out the image in detail. He placed a hand over the square- a photograph- and closed his eyes as he focused on bringing the image to fruition.

A young woman in a field, youth gracing her features.

_‘A warrior.’_ he thought, removing his hand from the photograph and backing away, taking in the rest of the room.

There was a nearly imperceptible energy buzzing around him, easily overlooked should one not be in tune with the environment. His eyes narrowed, finding nothing to trace the energy back to for the source.

He carried himself out of the room and to the back courtyard, his bone bo staff tapping against the ground with each step.

He stopped short of the archway leading into the sunlight, overlooking the vast training grounds for the young sister-warriors, awash with yellows and oranges under the sun’s rays. 

Apollyon’s eyes darted to the right, having caught the slightest blip of a blue form out in the field beyond the courtyard. It was momentary, could have easily been written off as a trick of light and heat, but he was drawn to the area of the occurrence.

His feet carried him to the spot of the sighting, closing his eyes and attempting to channel whatever energy source he thought he saw.

Picking up on nothing, he opened his eyes, slowly scanning the heat signature of the entire outside space.

His eyes narrowed, suspicious of what it was that he did see, his thoughts rolling around in his mind.

He then ripped another tear in spacetime, stepping into the dark and colorless void.

  
  


~

  
  


Beatrice spent the rest of the day and into the night wandering the halls of ARQTech, exploring the medical and rehabilitation facility and all of its hidden secrets, even finding a fairly equipped training facility Jillian set up during their stay.

She let her feet carry her to a familiar room on the far side of the multidisciplinary building, the one containing the Ark and four massive cement blocks.

Beatrice exhaled slowly, approaching the tomb simulation she and Ava had used during training to practice getting to Adriel under the Vatican.

_‘Adriel.’_ she thought bitterly, mentally cursing the devil for turning their worlds upside down, for coaxing their once trusted mentor to his side of lies and deceit. 

She shook the thoughts from her head, not wanting to focus on evil or demons or devils in this moment, and instead recounted a memory that lives within her mind all too vividly.

  
  
  


_“Why can’t you get through it? What’s stopping you?” Beatrice asked, Ava’s panicked breaths sounding through her earpiece._

_“I don’t have enough energy.” Ava replied, her voice trembling from fear and fatigue._

_“That’s not it.”_

_“Yes, it is.”_

_“That is a_ physical _limitation. It’s not what’s in your soul.”_

_“Yes, it fucking well is! Because if I drain the Halo, I go back to being paralyzed.”_

_The gears in Beatrice’s head began moving, “That’s what you’re afraid of. Paralysis.”_

_Ava panted, shaking her head, “That’s not what scares me. What scares me is being_ alone _. Abandoned in some sickbed with no one to… with no one.”_

_Beatrice felt her chest tighten at the dejected tone of Ava’s voice._

_“But that will never happen,” she began, the words pouring out from a place deep within her, “It wouldn’t matter if you were a quadriplegic, festooned with boils, or a talking head in a bag… you would still have us,” she paused, contemplating her final thought, “... and we will_ never _leave you.”_

_Her ears were met with shaky breaths, “You mean that?” Ava asked, her voice quiet; hopeful._

_Beatrice’s eyes flickered at the inquiry, “You know I do.”_

_She was met with silence._

_“Ava?” Beatrice questioned, her eyes darting back to the tablet as the little red dot began moving forward towards the other end of the blocks, her feet following the tracker._

_“Sixteen, crossing seventeen… eighteen- nearly there… nineteen…”_

_Ava reappeared through the wall’s other end, her feet catching on the floor before Beatrice caught her in an embrace._

_Ava smiled, holding on to Beatrice tightly, pure joy flowing throughout her body at the victory of conquering her fear as Beatrice lowered them both down to the ground._

_“You made it!” Beatrice laughed, pulling back to cup Ava’s face, her smile nearly reaching her eyes. Her gaze shifted between Ava’s eyes as she smoothed back a loose strand of Ava’s hair, her mind fully encapsulated by the bearer kneeling before her._

_Ava looked between her eyes, the smile of her own making her glow, “Only thanks to you.” she breathed._

_A voice in Beatrice’s head told her to pull away, to shift her gaze from Ava before-_

  
  


_There._

  
  


_Right in that moment, it all clicked._

  
  


_Beatrice’s face changed, her expression softening as her thumb lightly stroked the skin beneath Ava’s ear._

_She felt a pull within her to move closer, but dropped her hands when Ava’s gaze nervously flickered to the floor, ending the brief flash of emotion between the two of them._

  
  
  


Beatrice exhaled shakily as she braced herself against the concrete wall, her mouth hanging open in realization.

_‘I wanted to kiss her.’_ she thought, _‘I was filled with happiness and pride at her success, and I wanted to kiss her.’_

Beatrice’s mind hovered around the deeper meaning of the epiphany, her heart rate increasing at the thought, the possibility that-

  
  
  


_‘Am I in love with Ava?’_

  
  


She didn’t answer the question.

Instead she found herself walking out of the room and back down the labyrinth of halls, making her way back to Ava’s room.

She stopped abruptly outside the doorway, trying to calm her erratic breathing and rapid heart rate. She took a deep breath and pushed the door open, stepping inside.

It was late, the moonlight streaming in through the window casting an ethereal glow on the young woman lying in the bed.

Beatrice approached her slowly, a million thoughts running through her head as she silently took the seat she occupied the night before.

She leaned her elbows on her knees, staring at the peaceful expression on Ava’s face, completely aloof to the world around her, her own hands twitching to do something more.

She hesitantly reached forward to grasp Ava’s hand, the one she so confidently held the night before, the pads of her thumbs brushing the soft skin beneath them.

Her thoughts overwhelmed her, emotions she was unprepared to handle rushing to the forefront of her mind. Her eyes began to well with tears, her chin quivering as she decided her next action.

She tilted her head forward and closed her eyes, kissing Ava’s knuckles as her tears began to fall.

“I miss you so much,” she whispered, her voice trembling, “I miss your joy; I miss your smile; I miss everything about you.”

She took the hand she was holding and pressed Ava’s knuckles against her forehead.

“We need you, Ava,” she breathed, shaking her head slowly at her admittance, “ _I_ need you.”

She lifted her head and brought Ava’s hand back up to her lips, pressing a gentle kiss against her knuckles once more before uttering a final phrase against them.

  
  


“Please, _please_ , come back to me.”

  
  
  


A moment. 

  
  


The slightest squeeze.

Beatrice’s head shot up, her eyes wide and fixed on Ava’s still face, “Ava? Ava can you hear me?” Beatrice squeezed back, her other hand coming up to brush one of Ava’s curls behind her ear, “Ava?”

  
  


A beat.

  
  


Another faint squeeze.

Beatrice swore she could cry, a smile wider than any other blooming on her face, “Ava, I’m here! I’m here.”

Her eyes scanned the unmoving bearer’s body, her roaming eyes eventually falling on the monitor from earlier today. She focused on one graph in particular, her eyes widening at what she was seeing.

Before she knew it, Beatrice was running out of Ava’s room and down the hall to the nurse’s station, coming to an abrupt halt as she caught herself on the counter.

“Where is Jillian Salvius?” she asked, her voice implying haste.

The two RNs gave her an odd look, “In her private room, 50A- excuse me, you can’t go in there!”

Beatrice was running down the hallway before the nurse could finish her sentence, swinging around the corner of the hall, eyes scanning.

_‘50A.’_ she thought, her eyes reading the sign on the door. She knocked quickly, hearing shifting and speaking on the other side.

“... yes, I’ll check in with you again next week. Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it; your results are fantastic so far… yes you too, goodnight.” was muffled behind the door, the handle turning shortly after the conversation concluded.

Jillian opened the door with a look of confusion at the visitor, “Beatrice, what is-”

“It’s me.” she panted, still catching her breath from her sprint to Jillian’s room.

She gave Beatrice a look, “What is you?”

Beatrice exhaled sharply, “Ava. She’s reacting to me- my touch.”

Jillian closed her eyes and tipped her head down, a small, slightly irritated smile on her lips, “Beatrice, we already tested this theory; the results were inconsistent,” she looked at her wristwatch, “It’s quite late, I suggest we both get some sleep.” she said, that small smile widening artificially as she moved to close the door.

Beatrice’s hand shot up against the door, holding it in place.

“She squeezed my hand.”

Jillian’s eyes slowly met Beatrice’s. 

  
  


“What?”

Beatrice’s eyes bore into hers with insistence, “Ava squeezed my hand- _twice_.”

Jillian opened the door up again so she could stand directly in front of Beatrice.

She took a moment to respond, “You’re sure you experienced this?”

Beatrice shook her head, “Yes,” she replied, remembering another monumental detail, “Also, her monitor- the one from earlier today- showed the same energy surge as before,” Beatrice tried to connect the dots in her head, “I think I’m triggering the halo’s power through touch, somehow.”

Jillian crossed her arms in front of her, bringing a hand up to sit underneath her chin in thought, “Now, that is something.” she muttered, nodding at an idea, “Alright, I’ll conduct another EEG sometime tomorrow, perhaps her healing process is moving along much faster than we all anticipated.”

Beatrice’s eyebrows furrowed, “Tomorrow? Why not right now, after it just happened? What if we miss our oppor-”

Jillian put a hand up to stop the young woman in front of her, “Beatrice, it is nearly midnight, and there are only two registered nurses on staff right now. I have had a long day, and clearly so have you. I think it would be best for both of us _and_ Ava if we got some rest before hooking her up to complex machinery, wouldn’t you agree?”

It wasn’t threatening, nor was it comforting; it was merely a matter of fact. 

Beatrice inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly as she nodded in agreement, eyes meeting Jillian’s.

Jillian smiled, genuinely this time, “Good. Your bed has been prepared for you since yesterday, and is likely much more comfortable than the chair you slept in last night.”

Beatrice chuckled lightly, looking down to her hands, “Yes, I would assume so,” she paused looking back up at Jillian, “I apologize for the intrusion at this hour, but I thank you for hearing me out.”

Jillian’s smile grew, an unfamiliar warmth behind her eyes, “It’s no problem, emotional stakes are high in Ava’s case; I don’t blame you for your insistence.”

Beatrice nodded, looking down the hall, “Well, goodnight.”

Jillian nodded gently, “Goodnight, Beatrice. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Beatrice smiled lightly as she turned and left, heading in the direction of the room she and her sisters were bunking in.

She quietly entered, closing the door soundlessly before walking over to the only available bed. Slipping off her shoes, she sunk into the surprisingly comfortable mattress, still in the clothes from the day before.

_‘I’ll shower in the morning.’_ she thought as her head hit the pillow, falling into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the amount of everything... god. thoughts? concerns? kudos? yall need snacks?? lemme know in the comments below! :D


	6. someone who, like it or not, will want you to share- a little, a lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- song insps: Doctor My Eyes by Jackson Browne, Inside Out by Zedd, Nebraska by Oh Wonder  
> \- writing tumblr: piedpiperwriter  
> \- remember to leave a comment and a kudos at the end! feedback feeds me :D  
> \- enjoy!

_Whack._

  
  


_Thud._

  
  


_‘Ow.’_

_‘You literally do not have a body.’_

Shannon extended a hand down to Ava, who took it with a look, _‘I like pretending,’_ she grumbled mentally, having lost her balance and falling during a striking combination.

Shannon gave her an odd smile and shook her head, crouching back down to her practice stance, her hands up as targets, _‘Okay, again, same sequence: jab, jab, cross.’_

Ava spread her feet, granting her greater stability, and put her guard up, _‘Jab, jab, cross,’_ she repeated to herself, a small smirk forming on Shannon’s lips.

_‘Go.’_

Ava generated power through her feet and up her wispy body, repeatedly throwing the combination that would break bone with help from the halo, her fifth and final cross passing through Shannon’s hand.

Shannon stood up, a look of pride on her face, _‘Well done, kid. Let’s see if your other side is as good.’_

Ava shook out her arms, Shannon rolling her eyes at the action, and put her guard back up, left foot forward this time.

The combination was a little slower, slightly less accurate, but altogether still impressive for a former quadriplegic and current spirit.

Shannon stood up, giving a slight nod, _‘Not bad,’_ she thought, getting into her own fighting stance for demonstration, _‘Okay, new sequence: jab, cross, uppercut.’_ she added, showing the motions slowly.

Ava mimicked the demonstrated moves for herself, nodding once she felt familiar with them.

Shannon returned to her crouched position, locking eyes with Ava, _‘Ready?’_ Ava nodded again, _‘Go.’_

Ava threw the combination again and again, her translucent fists following their previous paths with little deviation, her seventh uppercut going straight up through Shannon’s head.

Ava stood up fully, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet, _‘Instant knockout!’_ she mused in a faux announcer voice, _‘I’ve got nowhere to go but up, baby!’_ she thought in a soft-yell, raising her hands up in the air as though she had just won a fight, mimicking a roaring crowd.

Shannon stood up, her hands on her hips as a smile formed on her lips, _‘So cocky.’_

_‘You know it,’_ Ava thought, walking back over to Shannon, _‘Seriously though, this is fun, but what’s the point of practicing punches if I’m just,’_ Ava gestured to herself, _‘A ghost?’_

Shannon tilted her head in the direction of a bench, signalling Ava to follow her, _‘Well, for one, your memory is your memory, no matter where your mind is,’_ she started, taking a seat, _‘So, even in your soul form, you’ll remember this training and you’ll be able to use it when you return to your body.’_

Ava made a thoughtful face, _‘Huh.’_ she thought, Shannon continuing.

_‘This also helps the process of… looking ahead, in the future, in a way,’_ Shannon squinted slightly, finding her words, _‘... it helps you see beyond yourself, if that makes sense, and in this process- of opening your spectral sight- you need to do just that: see beyond yourself to see others.’_

Ava nodded slowly, letting the words sink in, _‘So, technically, this is part of the mental training.’_

Shannon made a face, _‘Hm, kind of, but not really.’_

Ava waited for additional information, eventually gesturing wildly in a dramatic display of ‘continue’.

Shannon laughed at the show of insistence, moving to stand, _‘Let’s go somewhere more comfortable, it helps to be relaxed for this part.’_

Ava shrugged, getting up and beginning to follow Shannon back inside Cat’s Cradle before seeing something out of the corner of her eye.

She slowed to a stop, turning around to zero in on their previous spot on the grass.

Ava slowly approached the area, which now looked normal in her current world, her eyes narrowing.

_‘Hey, where’s Ripple?’_ she asked, Shannon stopping and turning to look, suddenly confused.

_‘He’s already gone ahead,’_ she replied, taking a few steps forward, _‘What’s wrong?’_

Ava paused before shaking her head and turning around, _‘Nothing, thought I saw something,’_ she thought, making her way up the steps, _‘My ghost eyes are playing tricks on me.’_ she added, making silly, spooky hand movements.

Shannon smiled slightly before looking back at their previously occupied spot, her eyebrows furrowing slightly, _‘Yeah, must be that.’_

They made their way back inside, strolling through the dorm-lined hallway.

_‘Any preference?’_ she inquired, turning to look down at Ava, who shrugged.

_‘Not really,’_ she started, her eyes fixing on a familiar door once it came into view, _‘Actually, that one.’_ she finished, her expression changing to something softer.

Shannon smiled lightly and nodded, walking through the closed entryway and into Beatrice’s room, pausing to look around the space before making her way to the desk.

She pulled out the translucent chair and took a seat, her elbows resting on the back of the chair.

Ava slowly approached the bed, placing a hand on the surface as she willed herself to be solid and climbed on top of it, sitting criss cross.

Shannon leaned her head on her arms, sighing, _‘You miss her, don’t you?’_

Ava’s eyes were fixed on the simple plaid of the bedspread, her lips forming a small, sad smile, _‘Yeah,’_ she thought, her fingers tracing the intersecting lines, _‘... way more than I thought I would.’_

Shannon nodded gently, _‘I know the feeling.’_ she added, her eyes momentarily traveling to a distant place.

Ava shifted slightly, her gaze fixing on Shannon, _‘Okay, so, how does this… mental… training work?’_

Shannon snapped out of her daze, leaning back and bracing herself against the back of the chair, extending her legs outward, _‘I mentioned that it helps to be in a comfortable environment,’_ Ava nodded, _‘So, get comfortable.’_

Ava’s eyebrows furrowed, _‘I already am?’_

Shannon looked down at the floor, shifting to get up and taking the chair with her, _‘Lie back.’_

Ava’s eyebrows rose, a playful smile on her lips, _‘Look, you’re cool and all, but you’re not really my type.’_

Shannon put the chair down by the bed and shoved Ava’s shoulder, _‘Stop it, will you. Seriously, lie down.’_

Ava giggled and complied, her head meeting the pillow with her hands resting on her stomach.

Shannon sat down in the chair beside her, crossing a leg over her knee and folding her hands in her lap, _‘Close your eyes.’_ Ava did as told, _‘Inhale on my count… one… two… three… four…’_

  
  


_‘Five.’_

  
  


And so they began.

  
  


~

  
  


Lilith slowly strolled down one of the many hallways scattered throughout ARQTech, the time just past 2:30pm, scanning each door plaque she passed for ‘46B’, eventually fixing her eyes on the name she was seeking.

**JILLIAN SALVIUS, CEO**

Lilith raised a fist and knocked on the office door.

She heard footsteps approaching, the handle turning as Jillian’s face came into view.

“Lilith, good morning,” Jillian said lightly, “What can I do for you?”

Lilith gave a half smile, “I was actually hoping to ask you some questions,” she paused, Jillian nodding, “... about me.”

Jillian’s eyebrows rose in curiosity, “Yes, of course, please come in.” she replied, opening the door wider for Lilith to pass.

Lilith nodded, the half smile from before still firmly in place as she strode into the office, taking a seat in the chair on the opposing side of the desk.

Jillian followed, taking a seat in her own chair and folding her hands in front of her, “What's been on your mind?”

Lilith took a while to respond, thinking about how she would get the words out, “I want you… to test me. My DNA.”

Jillian didn’t respond immediately, her fingers extending and flexing at the request, “Does this have anything to do with-”

“With my encounter with a tarask and journey through hell? Yes, it does.” Lilith finished Jillian’s sentence for her, the older woman sitting back in her chair.

Jillian was silent for a time, her thoughts rolling through her head, eventually nodding slowly, “I can run an autosomal DNA test for you to determine any sort of genetic mutations or… variations you may have undergone,” she paused, carefully choosing her words, “I cannot guarantee any specific results nor do I know what to expect, so, if there is any sort of monumental news, I would prepare for it just in case.”

Lilith stared at Jillian for a few moments before shifting her eyes to the desk’s wood grain, chewing her bottom lip, “How long will it take?”

Jillian exhaled, “I work with a private company whose turnaround time is about thirty-six hours, compared to the standard two to three weeks.”

Lilith’s eyebrows shot up, “How is that even possible?”  
  


Jillian smiled sadly, “My son had a blood disorder, I made sure to find bleeding-edge scientists to assist in my search for a cure; that required frequent testing as his symptoms evolved.” she stated, her eyes focused on her own hands in her lap.

Lilith’s eyes reflected sorrow, “I’m sorry, about him.”

Jillian shook her head, “Don’t be,” her mouth shifted in melancholy thought, “We can only assume he’s in a better place now.”

Lilith nodded gently, unsure of how to continue the previous subject as she rubbed her palms against her thighs, “So, when should I… provide my DNA?”

Jillian smiled lightly at the odd wording, checking the open planner on her desk, “I have Ava’s second EEG test in a few hours, what’s before then...,” she looked up to the current time slots in her written agenda, “I can actually fit you in right now, if you’re alright with that.”

Lilith nodded, “Yes, the sooner the better, I think.”

Jillian’s smile broadened, satisfied, “Excellent. Please, follow me.”

They both got up and exited the office, walking down the hallway to a familiar examination room- the same one Lilith was monitored in when she reappeared.

“I will need a small sample of blood, just a finger prick.” Jillian explained as she unlocked the door, allowing them both inside.

Lilith took a few steps in as Jillian strode ahead to the supply cart, picking up isopropyl alcohol, gauze pads, a needle to prick, and a small vial, before walking back over to Lilith.

“Please, sit.” she requested, Lilith complying and taking a seat on the examination table, shoulders slightly slumped as she watched Jillian prep the procedure.

Jillian sprayed her hands with a disinfectant solution before slipping on rubber gloves from a box nearby. She picked up the alcohol squeeze bottle and moistened the gauze to clean Lilith’s fingertip, then took the needle to Lilith’s finger.

She stiffened slightly at the sudden pinch, watching as Jillian coaxed the blood out and into the vial. When it was filled to her satisfaction, she sealed the bottle and re-cleaned Lilith’s finger with a new piece of gauze, watching a slight glow form at the puncture site before her skin mended immediately.

“I will get this to our labs immediately,” she said as she gathered the debris, taking it over to the biological waste container, her gloves to follow, “I will contact you when I have the data breakdown, it’ll make it easier to explain.” she finished, turning on the faucet to wash her hands.

Lilith nodded, sliding off of the table, “Thank you for doing this for me.”

Jillian looked over her shoulder at the younger woman, a small smile on her lips, “It’s no problem at all, dear.”

Lilith nodded and took her leave.

Her thoughts rolled over in her head as she walked down the hall. She knew this had to be done eventually, but she wasn't sure what to expect. At all. 

_‘Maybe everything will be normal,’_ she thought, her mind immediately contradicting her as she remembered how she healed after the encounter at the Vatican, the little embers appearing along the edges of her torn flesh, slowly but surely mending her injuries.

_‘Or not.’_ she added, her fingers beginning to fidget somewhat nervously.

Lilith, being caught up in her thoughts, wasn't paying attention to the direction in which she was walking, her shoulder colliding with another.

"Sorry," she muttered, only looking up to find herself staring at Mary, whose face reflected surprise.

"Wow, no threat of violence. You must be really out of it." she said, a lilt of humor in her voice.

Lilith exhaled a nervous laugh, looking down at her hands, "Yeah, well, it's been a stressful few days," she retorted, looking back up at Mary with an unequally heavy stare.

Mary's mouth shifted as her expression changed to one of slight concern, a thought popping into her head, "Come on, lets go have lunch." she offered, holding out her arm for Lilith to take, “Just you and me.”

Lilith smiled, her eyes flickering with something lighter, “I’d like that.” she replied softly, reaching out to hook her arm around Mary’s as they walked in the direction of the cafeteria.

Mary’s eyes were set ahead, but Lilith’s glanced aside at the older woman on occasion. She felt at ease around Mary, despite their rocky past. Mary was a pillar of autonomy and self expression, bending to no one’s rule but her own. Her stubbornness made her hard headed, sometimes difficult to reason with, but she was dependable; constant. 

Lilith was equally as stubborn, and twice as hard headed, but something about Mary’s presence as of late made her feel at ease, like she didn’t have to be a warrior around her. She could just _be_ , and that gave her more fulfillment than anything else in life- not even the halo could fill the craving of normalcy.

They made their way through the doors and into the line, today’s selection slightly more exciting when compared to recent times, serving grilled salmon over couscous and arugula salad. Mary’s eyebrows shot up as she hummed her approval, Lilith smiling slightly at the reaction as she gathered her own tray.

She began walking to their common sit-down spot, but Mary stopped her.

“Lets go sit in the nook, it’s quieter.”

Lilith felt her heart rate pick up slightly at the idea of being away from the eyes of others, little butterflies beginning to flutter in her stomach. She nodded, following Mary to the location only she knew.

They walked out of the cafeteria and down a back hallway, rounding a corner leading to a rest area tucked away in the rehabilitation portion of ARQTech, a little nook hidden in the back.

The nook held wide, plush cushioning paired with two large pillows, likely intended for reading or relaxing in the sun that shone through the window it was built beneath.

Mary looked back at Lilith, tilting her head in the direction of their awaiting seating, “C’mon.” she said, and Lilith followed.

Once seated, they ate in relative silence, allowing the distant sounds from the main floor to flow into their own space. When finished, Mary adjusted her posture into a more comfortable position with one foot up on the cushion, her knee bent, her other leg outstretched as she looked at nothing in particular through the window.

Lilith sat with one foot tucked under her opposing leg, of which was hanging over the cushioned bench. She summoned a single claw, examining it as the dark, ridged surface reflected in the sunlight, before dragging it down her palm, wincing as she drew blood.

Mary caught the last part, leaning forward quickly with her eyebrows furrowed as she grasped Lilith’s wrist, “Jesus, Lilith-” 

Lilith shushed her, stilling the other woman’s hands in place with her good hand, “Watch.” she said softly, eyes lifting to meet Mary’s, the other woman harboring unreadable emotions behind her gaze.

Mary’s eyes flickered slightly before shifting down to Lilith’s palm, watching as the tiny embers sparkled in the sunlight, slowly stitching up her cut.

Mary exhaled, her eyes moving back up to meet Lilith’s, the other woman’s eyes already watching her.

“Jillian is running a DNA test on me.” she stated.

Mary blinked, her hands around Lilith’s wrist loosening, “Okay.” she said slowly, her hands falling away entirely, “Why?’

Lilith shook her head slightly, looking down at Mary’s hands, “I want to know what’s,” she paused, scoffing at herself, “... wrong with me.”

Mary felt a pang in her chest, reaching forward and grasping Lilith’s hands, the young woman’s eyes coming up to meet her own, “Nothing is wrong with you, don’t say that.”

Lilith pulled away, irritation making its way into her tone, “Mary, you saw what I can do, you know where I’ve been, what-” she shook her head, her expression pained, “You saw me in the necropolis, I couldn’t think clearly, I wasn’t myself, I-”

Lilith froze.

Mary reached forward, brushing a strand of loose hair out of her face, her hand coming to rest on Lilith’s cheek with the other in tow. She leaned forward, fixing her eyes on Lilith’s now wide ones.

“Whatever this is, whatever’s going on with you- we’re going to figure it out. That DNA test may tell us something, it may not: it doesn’t matter,” Mary’s eyes were filled with determination, “One way or another, we’ll get an answer. I don’t know how or when or where, but we will,” her thumb stroked across Lilith’s cheek, the younger woman’s eyes shiny, “And you won’t be alone.”

Lilith let out a quiet, shaky breath as her eyes darted between Mary’s. She leaned forward, her arms encircling Mary’s torso as she buried her face in the older woman’s neck. 

Mary took her as she came, her arms wrapping around Lilith’s shoulders and pulling her into herself. She squeezed the younger woman, making her care and support known.

The embrace lasted a short while, Lilith feeling the loss when Mary pulled back.

“Turn around,” Mary requested softly, Lilith’s eyebrows furrowing but complying nonetheless, shifting on the cushioned bench until her back was to Mary.

Mary pushed herself against the nook pillow, her body reclined back, “Lie back.”

Lilith did as told, eventually finding herself lying against Mary’s body with her head leaning back against her chest, the older woman’s arms coming to rest clasped across Lilith’s chest.

Lilith brought her hands up to Mary’s, covering them. She closed her eyes and leaned back fully, relaxing into her hold.

Mary pressed a kiss to the top of her head, whispering, “I told you I got you then, I still got you now.”

Lilith smiled slightly as she felt something bloom in her chest, nodding against the warm body beneath her.

They stayed like that until the sun began to set, basking in each other’s presence, hoping that, maybe, there could be something more.

  
  


~

  
  


_‘... now, just imagine you’re weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses.’_

  
  
  


_‘Okay, stop.’_

  
  


Shannon tried to stifle her laughter, _‘Whyever should I?’_ she said dramatically.

Ava sat up, a slight smile of her own forming on her lips against her will as she shoved Shannon’s shoulder, _‘I know Napoleon Dynamite when I hear it, that wasn’t slick.’_

Shannon laughed fully at that, catching herself from the shove before she fell out of the chair she occupied, _‘Well? Feel any different?’_

Ava’s smile diminished, being replaced by a subtle irritated expression, _‘No. Everything feels the same.’_

She picked at the few pills on the bedspread before abruptly getting up and walking over to the windowsill, her hands fidgeting.

Shannon quelled her humor as she stood up, feeling the younger woman’s dissatisfaction, _‘Hey, it’ll happen; don’t stress about it.’_

_‘Yeah, but when the fuck will it?’_ Ava questioned sharply, her hands coming up into an aggressive shrug and promptly returning to her sides, _‘I’m stuck. I haven’t noticed anything different this entire time. The only constant is how fucking empty I feel.’_

Shannon’s expression shifted to something more melancholy, taking slow steps towards the current bearer, her hands slipping into her pockets.

  
  


_‘Is that really all you feel?’_ she asked quietly.

  
  


_‘Yeah, it fucking is.’_ Ava said finally, kicking the spectral stone wall in frustration. She sat down on the edge of the windowsill, her head falling into her hands, ghostly tears invading her eyes out of frustration.

_‘I’m still alive, why can’t I just go back? I want to be with my friends again; I want to be with-’_

  
  


A kiss against her fingers.

  
  
  


_“... I miss you so much.”_

  
  


Ava’s eyes widened.

  
  


_“I miss your joy; I miss your smile; I miss everything about you.”_

  
  


Her chin began to quiver at the vulnerable words echoing through her mind, _‘I hear you.’_ she thought.

  
  


_“We need you, Ava,_ ” she held her breath, _“..._ I _need you.”_

Ava closed her eyes as she sunk down to her knees on the floor of Beatrice’s room, her hands curling against her chest as she felt another kiss press against her knuckles, listening.

  
  
  
  


_“... Please,_ please _, come back to me.”_

  
  


She let out a choked sob, curling forward as though she were about to break.

Beatrice’s words deep within her, triggering a flood of pent up emotions as the bearer cried, her longing for the young nun pulling at her heartstrings as she gripped the hands that weren’t really there.

  
  


_‘I will. Oh, god, I will.’_ she thought, a new kind of desperation settling into her mind.

  
  


Shannon kneeled down in front of the younger woman, opening her arms in an offer of comfort. Ava took it, turning into the former bearer and hugging her close, her head settling against Shannon’s chest.

_‘I want her,’_ she thought, another sob wracking her ghostly form, _‘I_ need _her.’_

Shannon settled a hand on Ava’s head, her other arm encircling the smaller woman.

_‘I know you do,’_ she thought, leaning her head down to place a kiss atop Ava’s head, _‘Believe me, I know.’_

They sat like that for a while, Shannon soothing Ava’s emotional ache through comforting touches, holding her.

Shannon knew what this meant, really; she didn’t think about it, but she knew.

She hadn’t looked away from the crying bearer this entire time; the next time she looked up, she was met with a sight to behold.

  
  


_‘Ava.’_ she mused softly, squeezing the smaller woman. She didn’t move.

Shannon looked down at Ava, shifting so she could be in the bearer’s view, _‘Ava,’_ she insisted, her eyes meeting her own, _‘Look.’_

  
  


Ava's vision shifted to where Shannon’s gaze was fixed, her own eyes widening at what she was witnessing.

Shannon exhaled a laugh, squeezing Ava to her in a combination of excitement and wonder.

Ava let out a laugh of her own, a smile beginning to form on her lips as a hand came up to cover her mouth in astonishment.

  
  
  


Before them, warrior nuns of centuries past stood, lined up in no particular order, so many that they were out and down the hall, leading into other rooms.

They donned lavish dresses, tattered work clothes, plaid, acid washed, silk, cotton, chainmail, plate armor, hand sewn, woven- clothing and patterns from all time periods dating back to the earliest days of the halo’s presence on earth. The visible warrior nuns gazed upon the current bearer with looks of pride and love, all of them knowing what it takes to get to this point in resurgence.

Shannon stood, pulling Ava up with her, still hugging her close as her smile grew.

_‘Ava,’_ Shannon stated, her voice shaking slightly, _‘Meet your guardians.’_

Ava stiffened slightly as she straightened her posture and took a couple steps forward out of Shannon’s arms, her hand moving behind her back and hooking on her opposing arm. 

_‘H-hi.’_ she stuttered a thought, nervous at the sudden audience.

One of the warrior nuns smiled as she walked up to Ava, taking both of her hands gently. The silver accents and threads woven into the deep midnight blue of her dress stood out against the faint blue translucence of her skin. 

_‘Ava,’_ she said, Ava’s gaze moving to meet her own, a wisdom and warmth behind her ethereal eyes. She squeezed the bearer’s hands as her smile grew.

  
  


_‘We’ve been waiting for you.’_

  
  


~

  
  


The sun had just begun its descent on the horizon when Beatrice stood in Ava’s room, watching the nurse techs pick Ava up and transfer her to a gurney. She chewed the inside of her cheek, impatience nipping at her mind due to the events of the previous night.

She was freshly showered, donning faded jeans, a navy blue knit sweater, and her classic Converse from before. She was well rested, though her nerves at the possibility that she and Jillian missed their opportunity to catch anything new only made her jittery.

She followed them out of the room and down the hall, leading to the testing observation room.

Beatrice walked inside and took a seat, only to stand back up and walk near the glass panel separating the patient from the observers. She watched them situate the device on Ava, once again being hit with how small and vulnerable the bearer is in this current timeline.

Jillian had already been inside the room, tapping away on the keyboard, likely inputting Ava’s information. The older woman looked over at the former nun, worrying over a friend she felt much more for than she let on.

“She’s going to be okay, Beatrice.” Jillian stated with finality, “I will not rest until she is back with us. I made that promise when you all got here, and I intend to keep it.”

Beatrice glanced at Jillian, a half smile coming to rest on her lips as she nodded, “I know. Thank you.”

Jillian smiled, gesturing to the plush guest chairs against the wall, “Have a seat and try to relax, I’ll be beginning the test shortly.”

Beatrice gave a slight nod, giving one last glance to the halo bearer in the other room before walking over to one of the guest chairs.

She crossed her legs.

And uncrossed her legs. 

And bounced her knee. 

Sat back. Leaned forward. Wrung her hands. Smoothed her palms down her thighs.

Beatrice closed her eyes and clenched her jaw, taking in a slow, deep breath to quell her nerves as the test ran, minute by minute.

Eventually, across the room, Jillian exhaled a laugh.

  
  


“Remarkable.”

  
  


It was barely audible at their distance, but Beatrice picked up the words from her spot, immediately getting up and making her way over to the desk.

“What is it?” she asked, her eyes scanning the screen for understanding, eventually looking to Jillian, who had a hand over her smile.

Jillian reached forward and pointed at the monitor, “Her theta waves. Ava’s theta waves are active.”

Beatrice’s eyes widened, her breathing picking up frequency as her heart rate jumped, Jillian continued.

“She’s not fully conscious, nor is she able to wake up yet, but… this amount of progress in this many days, it’s extremely promising.” Jillian added, a look of wonder in her eyes.

Beatrice exhaled a shaky breath before her next, “D-do you have any sort of prediction- of if- when she could come back?”

Jillian’s eyes squinted in thought, choosing a careful answer, “I wouldn’t say more than a week, judging by what I’m seeing right now,” she paused, thinking, “I can’t guarantee any day, but if she continues on with this progression, she should be back sooner than we thought.”

Beatrice exhaled an unbelieving laugh, “She’s getting better.” she breathed.

Jillian nodded in response, a soft smile on her lips, “Slowly but surely, she’s coming out of it.”

Beatrice let out a real laugh this time, her hands coming up to fold in front of her mouth. She was on the verge of happy tears, overwhelmed with the reality, the real probability, that Ava would be back with them.

  
  


With her.

  
  


She let the tears fall, cupping a hand over her mouth as her other arm hugged her own middle, beginning to pace around the room, her head swimming with emotions.

She paused her movements as Mary opened the door slowly, aiming to not disturb those already inside as she planned on viewing the test results as they happened. She stepped inside hesitantly, reading a mix of emotions in the air.

Mary saw the look on Beatrice’s face, her tears, “What happened?” she asked, her eyes darting back and forth between the two women.

Beatrice let out a combination of a laugh and a sob as she walked forward, embracing Mary in a tight hug. 

Mary froze, still confused, as one hand slowly came to rest on Beatrice’s upper back.

“She’s coming back to us,” Beatrice said, Mary’s eyes widening as the words reached her ears, a smile coming into bloom on her face as she fully embraced Beatrice in return.

She let out a shaky breath and squeezed Beatrice back, closing her eyes, “I told you, you nervous wreck,” Mary let out in a laugh, Beatrice’s body shaking against her with laughter.

Mary heard a mutter against her neck, “What?” she asked, pulling back to meet Beatrice’s puffy eyes and glowing smile.

“She’s coming back to me.” Beatrice repeated, barely a whisper.

Mary’s smile exploded on her face as she pulled Beatrice back against her, laughing with overwhelming joy and emotion. 

She nodded firmly against the younger woman, a hand coming up to hold the back of Beatrice’s head.

“Yeah, she is.” she whispered back, feeling a conflicted pang in her chest as she held the younger woman close.

When they pulled apart, Beatrice didn’t notice the barest shift behind Mary’s eyes as she turned back around to probe Jillian with questions about Ava.

She stood in the room, close enough to hear the conversation but far enough away to tune out the words, her mind suddenly seeking something; someone.

“I’m gonna go,” she said distantly, both of the women turning at her words, Beatrice giving a nod as she and Jillian turned back to the monitor.

Mary turned around and pushed the door open, stepping into the hallway. She didn’t move immediately, stuck in her head as her body delayed action to her hazy thoughts. 

Her feet began to carry her down the hall, unsure of her exact direction as her fingers sunk into her coat pocket, curling around a pendant to a necklace that once belonged to-

  
  


Don’t.

  
  


Mary kept walking, eventually coming to the intersection of where she and Lilith had lunch earlier that day. She paused, changing her direction to follow the path she took before.

Her eyes took in the sight as it came into view, her whole body stilling.

Lilith was lying down on the cushions of the nook, a blanket draped over her figure, a book laid open flat on her chest as she slept in the rays of the setting sun. 

Mary let out a silent breath, a feeling of warmth exploding in her chest at the scene before her.

A melancholy feeling followed as she began to track backwards into the hall, her feet taking her to the stairs leading to the roof of ARQTech.

Each step made her thoughts clearer, her ascent making her heart race with a plethora of emotions connected to the goings on of her mind.

She twisted the lock on the door, pushing it open and pulling herself up onto the gravely rooftop.

Mary stood still as the cool night air hit her, trying to regulate her breathing as she pulled Shannon’s pendant out of her pocket, the silver of Saint Christopher nearly glowing in the developing moonlight as the sun disappeared beneath the horizon.

Her eyes flickered as she squeezed the chain, her eyes looking up as her feet began moving forward. She stopped a few feet from the edge of the building’s corner, her eyes moving back down to the pendant, her thumb stroking over the silver surface. Mary exhaled a shaky breath.

“I don’t know if you can hear me,” she gave a sad laugh, “I don’t even know if you’re there,” her fingers wrapped around the necklace, her gaze shifting to the moon, “... but if you are, I want to tell you something.”

“I love you,” she started, her voice cracking at the impending tears forming in her eyes, “I think I’ll always love you, no matter what. You live in every corner of my mind and sometimes I think I still see you sitting around, but I know that’s just me,” her chin quivered, “I wish I would’ve just told you; I wish I had the goddamn courage to be real, but I didn’t, and now I can’t.”

Mary let out a quiet sob and sucked in a breath, swallowing the lump in her throat as she looked down at her feet, “You’re in my head all the time, I remember everything about you and I don’t ever want to lose that,” she exhaled sharply and kneeled down, holding the pendant to her chest in a pseudo prayer, “I love you. I know you’d want me to be happy, but I don’t know if I can let myself have that; not after all this,” she looked at the pendant, a tear slipping down her cheek and onto the surface, “I need to know you’re okay, Shannon,” she whispered, bringing her lips to the token in a kiss as she squeezed her eyes shut, “I need to know you’ll never really leave me, because even if I find love again, I don’t want to forget you.”

Mary held the pendant close to her heart, curling forward as the sob reverberated through her body. 

She wasn’t aware of the invisible spirit, kneeling in front of her, spectral tears of her own falling down her cheeks at the confession.

Shannon knew Mary couldn’t see or hear her, that’s not how death works; but Shannon could hear her, could see her, and that was enough.

_‘I will always be with you,’_ she thought, placing her translucent hands on either side of Mary’s face before leaning forward and placing a kiss on her forehead; a farewell they never got in her end, a comfort that Shannon wished Mary could experience.

Mary didn’t turn when she heard the rooftop door open, the sound of hurried footsteps belonging to one coming nearer.

“Mary,” Lilith whispered, dropping down to her knees in front of the crying woman, her hands hovering around Mary’s, still clasped around the pendant.

Mary looked up into Lilith’s eyes, so filled with concern and nearly overflowing with care, another emotion she had yet to name on the edge of spilling over into reality. She smiled sadly, looking down at her unfurling hands as she let the moonlight hit the pendant.

Lilith held her breath as she took in the silver token, her gaze moving back up to meet Mary’s, the older woman nodding at the silent question in Lilith’s eyes.

Lilith’s hands clasped around Mary’s open palms, both of their hands encircling the pendant, their shared warmth reviving something within Mary she wasn’t expecting for a long time coming. She met the younger woman’s gaze again, of which stared at her with full exposure, causing Mary’s heart to pick up its pace.

It was love; pure, vulnerable. Lilith was a woman with high walls and an army guarding her heart, but in that moment alone, Mary could have sworn she saw a path to the heavy doors clear- for her. She wasn't even sure if Lilith knew what her gaze communicated, so Mary stayed silent.

She smiled at her, one of her hands escaping Lilith’s hold to caress the younger woman’s face, her eyes darting between Lilith’s. Mary leaned forward, touching her forehead to Lilith’s as she stroked her cheek, her eyes closing.

Lilith’s hand came up to grasp Mary’s wrist, her thumb brushing the back of her hand, a light laugh escaping her as a smile bloomed on her lips. Mary’s eyes opened as she took in the sight of the younger woman, her smile coaxing out one of her own, a laugh bubbling up through her chest.

They sat like that for a while, holding each other, breathing the other in, still grasping the pendant in a silent promise.

  
  


Shannon watched the interaction, a small smile coming to her lips as a ghostly tear ran down her cheek, hearing their thoughts mingle in her mind: that she would not be forgotten, eternal within the both of them.

  
  


_‘Give her the love we would have had,’_ Shannon thought, her vision of the scene becoming blurry, fading.

  
  


_‘We will meet again, in another life.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY DOES IT HURT SO MUCH (comment ur thoughts below and leave a kudos if u liked it!! im in tears!!!)


	7. someone to crowd you with love, someone to force you to care

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." - 1 Corinthians 13:13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- song insps: Straight On by Heart, Broken English by Adam Lambert, Collide by Boyce Avenue (iykyk ;))  
> \- remember to drop a kudos and a comment at the end, i love hearing your thoughts!!  
> \- writing tumblr for content updates and thoughts/concerns: piedpiperwriter  
> ***CONTENT WARNING*** there is a brief description of attempted sexual assault; nothing happens, but if that content is triggering for you, PLEASE be aware.  
> \- did somebody say lore? lilith? this is a personal fave chap of mine, i hope you like it!  
> \- as always, enjoy!  
> 

  
  


_THUD._

  
  


Beatrice’s eyes snapped open at the sound of Camila dropping a thick stack of books on the oaken table.

They agreed to meet in the small library located in the research portion of ARQTech at seven that morning; due to the latest development regarding Ava’s condition, Beatrice had underslept as her mind was racing with questions and theories.

The library consisted of books and articles on biology, chemistry, physics, engineering, theological legend, mythology, and demonology. Beatrice had already grabbed a few hefty books regarding Catholic canon, while Camila had more of a mountain on demons and myths from multiple cultures.

Beatrice’s eyes scanned the horizontal titles, _“Encyclopedia of Demons and their Origins, Biblical Demonology,”_ Beatrice read aloud as she picked up the latter, opening the front cover as she looked up at Camila, “A little out of our normal scope, don’t you think?”

Camila blinked and then shrugged, “At this point, I’m willing to read anything to get some answers.” she replied, sliding into the chair adjacent to Beatrice, “Like you said, there’s more within the realm of possibility than we thought.”

Beatrice nodded, reading the table of contents in the book, suddenly interested. Camila smiled slightly, feeling a little victory at her chosen approach, “Find something you like?” she teased.

Beatrice looked back up, making a face as she nudged Camila’s foot under the table, “Come on, get reading.” she replied, getting her notepad ready to jot down anything that stuck out to her.

The younger woman’s smile turned into a grin as she flipped over the large hard cover, flipping through the pages to find her intended piece of information, diving into the content.

Half an hour passed of reading, page flipping, and deep breaths before Camila shut the encyclopedia, dissatisfied. 

“Just names and descriptions of nothing,” she muttered, reaching for another book, _Greek Legends and Myths_.

Beatrice, though, did find something all too familiar.

“... An angel known as Adriel, meaning ‘God’s helper’ or ‘Man’s saver’, was cast away and imprisoned.” Beatrice blinked rapidly as she picked up her pen, beginning to scribble down the text as she read, “... His crimes consisted of undermining God’s plan and unleashing the damned onto God’s creations to cause mischief and ruin, specifically in the case of the Battle of Mount Tabor, possessing the Israelites to slaughter the Canaanites despite God’s intention to allow them to flee.”

Camila had since paused her own reading, focusing on what Beatrice was narrating aloud.

“He was locked-” Beatrice swallowed as previous events flooded her mind, her hand trying to keep up with her mouth and mind, “He was locked away in a stone cave deep underground before the construction of Rome, his eternal prison lying beneath what is…” Beatrice looked up at Camila briefly before reading the final lines, “... now Vatican city. Legend says the fallen angel Adriel is still there to this day.”

Camila had an unbelieving look on her face as she sat back in her seat and scoffed, shaking her head. Beatrice marked the page and closed the book, setting it aside and resting her head in her hands.

“We were lied to.” she stated plainly, an incredulous laugh escaping her in a breath.

Camila willed herself out of her shock, shifting her chair forward, “And now we know the truth,” she said with finality, Beatrice looking up in her direction to meet her stare. Camila’s eyes held no sharpness or irritation, but a firm confidence in their endeavors taking place _now_. 

Beatrice nodded softly, turning to reach for another book, _Texts on Demonology and Devil Figures_ , smoothing her hand over the embossed cover, considering.

She placed the book to the side, instead picking up her stack of Catholic and adjacent books and moving to stand.

“I’m going to put these away,” she paused, looking down at the small stack, “... for obvious reasons.” she added quietly.

Camila nodded gently, her eyes sad at seeing Beatrice so dejected, “Take your time.”

Beatrice gave her a small smile before making her way over to the tall shelves, placing her books back in their original locations. Once they were all returned, she slid down to the floor, sitting with her elbows propped up on her knees, her hands folded in front of her face.

She needed a long moment to process the gravity of what was just revealed to her, realizing that their mission- the OCS itself- was based on a lie. Adriel was never an angel, but a demon, a disgraced messenger of God, seeking to cause trouble on earth and in heaven. 

Beatrice sat between the shelves for about twenty minutes to give herself a moment of mindless silence before she got uncomfortable, eventually making her way back to the table to continue their research.

Camila’s mouth shifted upon seeing Beatrice’s still fallen expression, deciding to make an offer, “Do you want to hear what I found?” she asked, patting the page she intended to read.

Beatrice nodded, “Yeah,” she clicked her pen, “Go ahead, I’m ready.”

Camila’s eyes shifted to the page, clearing her throat quietly before beginning.

“The Greek myths of Zeus, Poseidon, and Hades transcend time, but there is one myth that has long been forgotten out of fear and possibility.” Camila paused and looked up at Beatrice, whose hand was primed to write, continuing. 

“It is said that, out of an attempt to create a perfect being from the perfect minds of the gods, the three brothers took aspects of themselves, to give the being great power; of a captured Mal’akh, to allow the being to travel between mortal and immortal realms; and of man, to give the being fortitude and free will. This combination, though, turned out disastrous for the gods, as the being was an abomination in the eyes of both the natural and supernatural, destined to bring ruin to humanity. Zeus cast out this being, sending it below the depths of the ocean, past the Underworld, to a fiery realm where the darkest of demons and damned resided.” 

Camila swallowed, finishing the paragraph on the page, “Historians, theologians, and mystics alike agree that the interpretation of this myth reflects an intersection between classic Greek mythology and what would later come to be known as Christianity.”

Beatrice stared at the words on the page staring back at her, trying to absorb what she had just written. 

_‘It can’t be true,’_ she thought, chewing her bottom lip, _‘... but what if it is?’_

She didn’t answer her own question, a hand coming up to massage her forehead, the muscles beneath her skin suddenly tight with harsh realizations.

Camila opened her mouth to speak again but decided against it, a thoughtful expression on her face. Beatrice caught on to her body language, inquiring, “Was there anything else?”

Camila shook her head, “No, there was something about a sword, but I don’t think it’s relevant.”

She nodded in response, her head returning to her hand. Camila marked the page and closed her book, sliding it to the side as she observed Beatrice, her own knee bouncing in thought. Her eyes shifted to the book Beatrice had pushed aside, an idea popping into her head.

“I can read that one if you want.” she stated, not really asking as much as she was offering.

Beatrice’s eyes shifted to the younger woman, a small apologetic smile settling on her lips as she handed the book to Camila, “Sorry.”

Camila shook her head, “Don’t be, this was my idea.” she stated, flipping the cover open and inspecting the contents.

Beatrice tapped her pen against the notepad lightly, her head turning as her eyes fixed on the section of books filled with esoteric texts she had resided in a few minutes ago, her mouth twitching.

She stood then, stretching her shoulders and arms, her eyes falling back to that section for a third time.

“I’m going to go look for another,” she said, Camila’s eyes settling on her distracted friend.

She nodded, “Okay,” she replied, looking down at her text, eyes scanning for anything that could provide insight.

Beatrice walked slowly to her previously occupied space. Her eyes scanned the vertical titles and authors for nearly ten minutes before one title in particular stood out to her.

_‘The Lost Testament: Book of Revelation.’_ she thought. She reached forward and slid the book out from the others, reading the subtitle text on the cover.

_‘A forgotten apocryphal text on the events before the War in Heaven.’_ she thought, her fingers brushing the smooth edges of the cover, clearly unused.

She opened to the front page, scanning the contents within and part of the introduction for a few minutes as she considered the legitimacy of the information.

After making her decision, she held the book to her side as she walked back over to the table, Camila already perched and ready to read her findings aloud.

“Find something good?” she asked, her head tilting slightly to read the bold cover of the book Beatrice placed on the table.

“Let’s hope.” she replied, picking up her pen and clicking it open, “Ready when you are.”

Camila nodded and licked her lips as she began.

“Asmodai, one of the Seven Princes of Hell, rules his domain with an iron fist. He is marked by his shocking appearance, possessing a serpent’s tail and bearing three different heads: one of a man, one of a sheep, and one of a bull. Demonological legend tells of a little known struggle during his reign over the Second Circle of Hell, where his throne and rule were threatened by a rebel.” 

Camila’s eyebrows furrowed slightly as she continued, “The rebel, rumored to be a former divine creation, attempted to instill fear and aggression in the damned spirits of Hell, but his goal was thwarted when he was captured by Asmodai’s infernal servants…” she paused as she held her breath, the description of the beings striking something within her, “... the servants take on the images of fiery beasts, hulking in size with horns and sharp, metallic claws.” 

She looked up at Beatrice, whose hand had paused at the description of the servants, the mental image all too familiar. 

Camila continued, “It is said that Asmodai punished the rebel, casting him to hellfire for seven days and seven nights. At the end of the seventh night, Asmodai was met with an alarming sight: the rebel had survived and proceeded to vanish from hell, never to be seen again.”

Camila sat back, chewing on her bottom lip, “You know I have faith in God, even after everything, but… this…” she trailed off, her arms coming to hug around her middle in an attempt to comfort herself.

Beatrice felt a pang of guilt- that was supposed to be her passage to read, and to see Camila so shaken pulled her to the younger woman. She stood and walked to the seat beside Camila, draping an arm around her shoulders as she hugged her from the side, Camila’s head coming to rest on Beatrice’s shoulder.

She didn’t say anything, just providing physical comfort for her sister amidst the dark knowledge they were taking in.

Camila shifted, leaning over the table to drag over Beatrice’s notepad and her book of choice, her head returning to her sister’s shoulder when everything was settled.

“Your turn.” she said softly, eliciting an exhaled chuckle from Beatrice, who squeezed her shoulder one final time before removing her arm and shifting to open the book, scanning the listed sections as she flipped to a fresh page in her notepad.

She examined the text of her selected section, this time writing before she read it aloud. 

When Beatrice finished taking notes, she shakily unclicked her pen and dropped it on the notepad, sitting back in her chair, one hand still resting on the intended pages. Camila watched her, still and wide eyed, a combination of concern and panic seeping into her mind.

“Bea?”

“Sorry.” 

Beatrice shook her head slightly, attempting to shake herself out of the thoughts invading her mind as she began.

“The Book of Revelation tells of a great War in Heaven, a battle fought between the Archangel Michael and a great Dragon, accompanied by his army of evil angels. There is, however, a preceding battle that takes place on earth that has been rejected by the Catholic church and historians alike, due to its lack of application to historical events or connection to accepted canon.”

Beatrice took a deep breath as she reached for Camila’s hand, seeking something to ground her before she uttered the words on the page aloud, “The Lost Testament presents a prophecy of a dark being, an bastardization of the holy and the wicked, coming to earth to destroy man, bringing legions of demons and devils with him.”

She swallowed, “The prophecy goes on to predict the coming of a Chosen from unlikely origins, one who would possess the power and fortitude to stand up against this demon; and an Original, one who would possess knowledge of what came before creation itself. These two are said to find each other under dire circumstances, their combined power greater than the power of evil and chaos.”

Camila’s other hand came to rest on top of Beatrice’s, she herself seeking a grounding presence as the words hung in the air, “Through the use of a great weapon, one designed by the gods themselves to cast out evil and only evil, the Chosen and the Original would banish the demon to eternal imprisonment, permanently binding him to his fate of death and rebirth, stuck in the bottomless pit forever.”

Beatrice marked the page and closed the book, sitting back as she let her head hang off the back of the chair. 

They both sat for a while, holding each other’s hands, not saying a word as the gears in their heads turned for nearly fifteen minutes.

“Okay, so,” Camila said softly, dragging Beatrice’s notepad in front of her as she let out a steadying exhale, “We have the story of Adriel- we know about that,” she started, her mouth shifting as she thought, “We have the story of the gods’ abomination being sent to ‘a fiery realm’ that held demons and devils…”

Camila clicked the pen before scribbling down her own shortened summaries in an attempt to better digest the information, her eyebrows furrowing slightly in thought, “We have… the legend of the rebel in Hell who escaped,” she tapped the pen lightly against the notepad, “And we have the coming of a dark being,” Camila paused, something clicking inside her mind, “Seeking to destroy the earth with legions of demons.”

Beatrice leaned forward, her elbows resting on the table as her eyes scanned the brief notes, “Do you think…?”

Camila looked at her, “That the unnatural creation made by the Greek gods, destined to bring ruin to humanity, could be the same as the rebel that tried to overthrow a prince of Hell-”

“Who escaped after his punishment, vanishing until the moment he decides to reemerge to earth, bringing a dark army to aid in his destruction of humanity?” Beatrice finished, her heavy gaze meeting her sisters’.

Camila’s eyes held fear at the connection they both made, shaking her head, “I don’t like this,” Camila said darkly, crossing her arms over her chest as she chewed at her cheek.

Beatrice heard her but did not respond, her mind already somewhere else, “And then we have the Chosen,” she said to herself, making a small note on the page, “And the Original...”

_‘What does that mean?’_ she thought, her eyes narrowing as she tried to think.

Camila leaned forward, a thought coming to the front of her mind, “Do you think the Chosen could be Ava?” she asked, her hand reaching forward to point at one of Beatrice’s notes, “It says ‘from unlikely origins’ and she… was… dead?” Camila suggested, Beatrice began nodding slowly, processing.

“It’s possible, considering all that we’ve found thus far,” she confirmed, drawing an arrow to one of her notes, “That could also explain the weapon mentioned; it could be the halo,” she paused, biting her bottom lip, “I’m not sure, though.” she added quietly.

The halo required only one user, and its origins are unknown, even to the church. Beatrice massaged her temples, trying to ease the onset of a headache.

_‘What is this godly weapon?’_ she thought.

Camila wrote down a word on the notepad, “What is an Original?” she whispered to herself, squinting at the page.

Beatrice shook her head, “I have no idea.”

Camila exhaled as she placed the pen down, her eyes shifting to the book she read from earlier; _Greek Legends and Myths_ , opening it to the table of contents before flipping to a specific chapter.

Beatrice sat with her elbows on the table, hands folded in front of her mouth, digging through her mental library of Catholic figures in canon. She could make this connection, she just needed time.

Camila tapped the notepad, “May I?” she asked, receiving a nod from Beatrice before taking some of her own notes on the children of the gods.

They sat there like that for another half an hour, ruminating on the information presented to them, trying to make connections where there were seemingly none.

  
  


Unbeknownst to them, one of their answers was nearby, absentmindedly strolling down the hall to pass the time.

  
  


~

  
  


Adriel sat up abruptly, his chair tumbling backwards with the force of his movement, startling Vincent nearby.

“God damn it!” he yelled, a look of rage painted on his face, his nose snarled, “It keeps flickering in and out of focus, I can barely see the blurry fucking scene before it disappears again, and again, and again.” he hissed, the back of his hand hitting his palm to punctuate his repetition.

Adriel took several breaths as he looked over at Vincent, visually assessing his only servant.

He was thinner than usual, his eyes looked dark and his cheeks sunken, his shoulders rounding forward in a slight slump. He clutched his semi-automatic with white knuckles, as though it weren’t a killing machine, but a shield between him and the fallen angel.

Adriel quickly lifted a hand in his direction, “Well, give me your thoughts, Father.” he said, his demeanor now pseudo calm as he turned away from the priest.

Vincent swallowed despite his mouth being dry, “I have nothing to add, sir.” he stated neutrally, managing to hide the nerves behind his tone.

Adriel turned to him, eyes narrowed, “What do you _mean_ you have ‘nothing to add’? I asked you a question, answer it- _correctly_.” he said, a deadly edge to his voice.

Vincent bristled, standing up straighter, “Apologies, master. I am not sure why the halo has not yet come back fully, I have never seen it gain or lose power temporarily like this before.”

Adriel squeezed his eyes shut with frustration, his fingers coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose, “Thank you, Vincent.” he said plainly, despite his sincerity. Though he did not see the priest, Vincent closed his own eyes and exhaled slowly, relieved.

Adriel clenched his jaw as he opened his eyes, shaking his head slightly, “I’m starting to think my bargain with Belial for these mirrors was not worth the time and energy,” he stated, his arms crossing in front of his chest, “Seeing as the divinium is currently fucking useless.”

Vincent cleared his throat quietly, “If I may, master,” he received a nod, “Your efforts have not been in vain. The divinium has given us great input into their plans thus far-”

“Yes, but that was then and this is now, isn’t it?” Adriel cut him off sharply, turning enough to glare at him out of the corner of his eye, exhaling once he saw how shaken his servant was, “I apologize, Vincent.” he said in a calmer voice, trying to ease the priest’s nerves, “I have a lot on my mind.”

Adriel uncrossed his arms and turned around, tapping a hand against his leg, thinking, “I need to know when or even _if_ that demon found them yet,” he said to himself, cracking his knuckles as his mind wandered, “Why hasn’t he contacted me?”

Vincent swallowed, opening his mouth like a fish out of water, “M-may I be honest, sir?”

Adriel shifted his eyes to the priest, a devilish smirk coming to his lips, “Be my guest.”

Vincent exhaled, “I am-” he cut himself off, choosing his words carefully, “I have a bad feeling about this demon. He has t-this ancient air around him that feels threatening; of course I know nothing of him, b-but I feel-”

Adriel kicked a nearby crate, letting it tumble and splinter into the darkness of the basement, his eyes aflame, “How many times do I have to reassure you that I have this under control, you blubbering idiot?” he yelled, marching up to Vincent until he was inches from his face, the priest trying to meld against the crates.

“Do you doubt my power- my authority? Do you deem my judgement faulty?” he hissed, Vincent’s eyes closed as his grip on his weapon tightened.

He turned around, taking heavy steps away from the priest, “I precede him, do I not? I sat at the right hand of God! A Watcher before my fall at Mount Hermon! I along with Semjaza and my heavenly brothers demoralized mankind with the knowledge of war and self indulgence- _that_ is my power! I defied God himself, and yet you doubt?”

He turned back around, walking up to Vincent and grabbing his face, forcing his eyes to open.

“I _told_ you to have _faith_ , priest. Not in your God above- in _me._ I am your God now, you worship _me_.” he leaned in closer, a breath away from Vincent’s nose, his teeth bared.

“Do I make myself _clear_?” he said lowly, like a predator to prey.

Vincent nodding in his grasp, his eyes wide, “Yes, yes, master. I apologize, my lord.”

Adriel released Vincent with a look of disgust, turning around to pace in the dimly lit space.

“I will give the demon some more time,” he said to himself, exhaling as he clenched his jaw, contemplating his options.

Vincent pressed himself against the stack of crates, swallowing as he fixed his eyes forward.

“That should give me more time to plan.” Adriel muttered, another thought beginning to circle his mind.

“Yes, plenty of time.”

  
  


~

  
  


_Her eyes opened as she lay on the bed of ferns, her vision focusing on the heavily wooded environment surrounding her._

_Lilith pushed herself up off the ground, eyes taking in the old world trees stretching up to the heavens, the ground dotted and scattered with different lichens and hornworts. The forest floor beneath the foliage was covered in the greenest, softest moss Lilith had ever seen or felt before, the light rays seeping in through the magnificent canopy above giving the environment an otherworldly feel._

_Lilith then looked down at herself, becoming fully aware of her nudity. She had a brief moment of panic before a wave of calm washed over her, carrying away her worries of being seen so exposed. She noticed her hair had returned to its original raven black, the rays from above reflecting off of its sheen._

_Her gaze traveled forward towards a sunlit clearing, seeing movement of some sort in the hazy meadow._

_Her feet carried her forward, her steps and movements soundless as she pushed the branches and leaves back, making a path for herself._

_Her eyes settled on a couple, a nude male and a nude female, arguing._

_“I was molded by the same Hand as you, we are equals!”_

_“He gifted me with strength to surpass yours, a shaft to your sheath- you belong to me!”_

_“You will not have your way with me; I will not allow it!”_

_Lilith’s eyes widened at the male’s implication, suddenly fearing for the safety of the female. She tried to move forward to intervene, only to be stopped by an invisible wall, forcing her to watch the events from the sidelines._

_“You will not defy me, woman.” the male growled, lunging forward as he forced the female to the ground, pinning her hands on either side of her head._

_“No! No!” the female yelled, struggling to break free from the male’s grasp. His lip snarled as he braced one of his knees against the female’s inner thigh, attempting to keep her open and beneath him._

  
  


_What Lilith saw next shocked her beyond comprehension._

  
  


_The female let out a glass shattering scream, knocking the male back and off of her._

_He tumbled several feet away, his head knocking against a large stone, his body curling in on itself at the force in front of him._

_Lilith watched the female rise above the ground, levitating, her hair becoming silver as embers traveled from root to tip. Claws sprung from her fingertips, her eyes containing a fiery glow. An undulating force rippled around her nude figure, mimicking the shape of wings, her transformation drawing a gasp from the young woman watching._

  
  


_It was her._

  
  


_Lilith was viewing herself._

  
  


_“_ **_You will not subvert me, Adam._ ** _” the female bellowed, her voice echoing that of multiple persons._

  
  


_Then, a blinding light from above._

  
  


_A figure barely visible against the brilliance of its divine luminescence slowly descended to the ground flanked by two large, animalistic creatures._

  
  


_“_ **_You have defied My law by refusing your husband, Lilith. Make right on your duty as wife to Adam._ ** _”_

_Lilith scowled at the allusion of ownership, implying she is an object to be used by her betrothed._

_“_ **_I refuse You and Your law, I am not to be had by anyone but myself._ ** _” she echoed, her eyes glowing brighter with rage, “_ **_God be damned before I sacrifice my personhood for another!_ ** _”_

_The illuminated figure rose up into the sky, pointing at Lilith._

_“_ **_You leave me no choice, woman. I cast you out of Eden; you shall spend your days amongst the dead and the suffering. May the Hellfire below remind you of your place._ ** _”_

_She summoned flames from the center of her palms, letting out another scream before the figure shot forth a beam of light, sending Lilith to that which lies below._

_Outside of the invisible wall, Lilith, suddenly, found herself falling down a pit into darkness, swiping at the air searching for something to grab ahold of._

_A scene materialized as she plummeted further down the bottomless pit, viewing a scene highlighted with molten lava and fire._

_A being possessing iridescent, singed peacock plumage, a head and upper body of a man, the hind legs of a mule, and eyes as dark as the night sky sat atop a grand throne, made of brilliant gold and jewels._

_The other Lilith stood before the being, draped in a deep purple robe that exposed the nude midline of her body, her rippling energy still visible on either side of her infernal appearance._

_“_ **_Why have you called me here, Adramelech?_ ** _” she inquired, the being upon the throne lifting a hand up in the air with a particular flamboyance._

_“_ **_By order of the Most High, of course._ ** _” he replied, giggling as he popped up out of his throne and onto his feet, “_ **_Azazel himself has called for your assistance._ ** _” he added, trotting down the steps to meet her._

_He smiled at Lilith as he came near, circling her as he assessed her chosen garb, his hands hovering around her form._

_“_ **_Do not touch that which does not belong to you, Chancellor._ ** _” she said warningly, her eyes shifting to the side to meet Adramelech’s mischievous gaze._

_“_ **_My dear, you know I would never._ ** _” he replied, a throaty laugh escaping him as he walked back towards the base of the stairs._

_Lilith narrowed her eyes at the advisor, “_ **_Well? Get on with it._ ** _”_

_He pointed a finger upwards, perking up as he remembered, “_ **_Oh yes! Our Dark Lord is requesting that you return to earth in human form. He is seeking to retrieve his crown taken by that pesky angel._ ** _” he responded, waving a hand in the air with his final words._

_“_ **_And how, exactly, will I know where to find this crown?_ ** _” she asked, walking around to level with the Chancellor._

_He smiled, his plumage extending to full display as his thoughts came to fruition in his mind._

_“_ **_You will know, my darling. He has made sure of it._ ** _”_

_The scene vanished suddenly, Lilith once again aware of her presence in the pit, falling further into nothingness._

_She saw flashes of her own memories as she fell: her time at the OCS, the chase after Ava, her run-ins with Mary._

_Finally, her first death at the hands of a tarask._

_The memories quickly faded, another scene beginning to materialize before her._

_A new being, taller than the last, lazily sat upon a throne of his own, crafted from molten swords and shields of fallen warriors. His skin was cinnabar red and completely exposed, the scleras of his eyes black with pupils red, two horns sprouting from his head, and a long tail tipped with a barb._

_This throne room was comfortably furnished, servants of varying size and form scattered around the space; tarasks on either side of the enormous double doors, imps holding trays with silver chalices, wraiths conjuring infernal treats to replenish the golden platters atop the tables lining the far wall._

_Off to the side, Lilith viewed Adramelech, donning a golden-accented toga, near a mixing table fixing himself a drink._

_She watched as she saw herself- her current self- materialize in the center of the room._

_The motion in the room stilled, the figure in the throne sitting upright as he recognized the woman before him._

_"_ **_Lilith? Have you returned with my crown?_ ** _" the being asked, his voice deeper than any she had heard before._

_Lilith pushed backwards as she slid across the smooth black marble floors, creating distance between herself and the being as she clutched her wounded side, fear building behind her wide eyes at the scene before her._

_His tail swished slightly as he made to stand, his thick eyebrows furrowing at Lilith’s reaction._

_Adramelech glanced at the frightened woman and looked to the being, his hooves tapping the marble as he ascended the steps to place a hand on the being's arm._

_"_ **_She doesn't remember us, Azzy. You made it so that she wouldn’t._ ** _" he said, the being looking down to his advisor as recognition marked his features._

_"_ **_Ah, yes._ ** _" he replied, his tail coming to wrap around Adramelech's leg as an arm snaked around his waist, his expression softening, "_ **_Thank you, Chancellor._ ** _"_

_Adramelech’s eyes shifted between the being's, a small smile coming to his lips, shrugging one shoulder coyly, "_ **_Of course, my King._ ** _"_

_The King smiled briefly as his gaze shifted to the wounded woman on his floor, moving to approach her slowly, aiming to minimize any growing fear despite his intimidating size and appearance._

_"_ **_Lilith, you do not remember me, but I remember you,_ ** _" he started, keeping a few feet between them as he knelt down before her, "_ **_I am Azazel, one of the first angels to fall from heaven._ ** _"_

_Lilith’s breathing slowed slightly as she stared at Azazel's alarming features, trying to calm herself to fill in the gaps of her memory._

_"H-how did you fall?" she asked, seeking any sort of answer to explain this place, her presence- all of it._

_A toothy smile bloomed on his face momentarily, exposing his sharply pointed teeth as he shifted to sit with his legs criss-crossed._

_"_ **_I disapproved of Adam in the presence of The Most High. I was cast down to Hell thereafter and took on the role of Ruler of this realm._ ** _" he replied, his startling eyes surprisingly open._

_Lilith blinked rapidly and shook her head, not understanding, "Why would you disapprove of Adam? He and Eve were the earth's first couple, the parents of mankind."_

_Azazel's eyes turned sad at the words presented to him, letting out a tsk, "_ **_Eve was not the first, my dear. You were._ ** _"_

_Lilith's eyes flickered, her eyebrows knitting in deep confusion._

  
  


_"What?" she whispered._

_He leaned forward onto his knees, his tail coming to curl around his crossed legs, "_ **_You were Adam's original wife, crafted from the same clay of life as him; God's intention was to have you both be equals, but Adam did not favor this arrangement._ ** _"_

_Lilith closed her eyes tightly and turned away from him, trying to make sense of the unbelievable truths meeting her ears._

_"_ **_There was… a struggle between the two of you. I became fearful of your safety in Adam's presence, and thus bestowed some of my power within you to allow your escape._ ** _" he finished, his fingers twisting in his lap as he clenched his jaw at the memory._

_Behind him, Adramelech approached slowly as his mule legs transformed to that of a man, a sympathetic look on his face as he placed a hand along the side of Azazel's head. The King rested his head against his lover's thigh in kind as he allowed his thick locs to be messed slightly, closing his eyes at the touch._

_Lilith turned and gazed upon the interaction, the pieces of the puzzle floating around in her head but not connecting, "Why was I incompatible with Adam?" she questioned quietly, mostly to herself._

_Adramelech gave a sad smile, "_ **_It went against your nature, love._ ** _" he said softly, Lilith’s eyes meeting his dark ones._

_She exhaled, her head shaking slightly, "What does that mean?"_

_Adramelech looked down to Azazel who met his eyes, the both of them looking to Lilith._

_"_ **_You are not meant to love men, just as I am not meant to love women._ ** _" Azazel stated, his tail swishing upwards to wrap around Adramelech's rear up to his abdomen._

_Lilith's jaw hung open, her eyes flickering for a few moments before she stilled, the puzzle piecing together all at once._

_Images of her past life flooded forth in her mind, the good and the bad: her struggle with Adam, her defiance, her demonic transformation, her assimilation into hell._

_She remembered filling her bed with forgettable women time after time, attempting to fill the void within her; the only thing of her being that belonged to-_

  
  


_"_ **_Mary._ ** _" she breathed._

  
  


_Suddenly, she began to levitate, her wound repairing itself by infernal means, her physical body taking on that of her demon form as her clothes and appearance burned away into nothingness._

_Her hair became a brilliant silver, the purple robes materializing from flame, her rippling wings extending outward in a grand display of power and energy._

_She descended to the black marble floor below, Azazel and Adramelech standing, looking upon her reclaimed form with pride and…_

  
  


_"_ **_I didn't know Hell could harbor love._ ** _" she said aloud, her fiery eyes meeting Azazel's striking ones._

_Adramelech shrugged, draping Azazel's arm over his shoulder, his fingers lacing with his lover's, "_ **_Narratives, darling._ ** _"_

_Lilith smiled slightly and nodded, her face changing when she remembered all that she has endured thus far._

_"_ **_I cannot bring you your crown- not yet, at least._ ** _" she stated, Azazel looking at her with confusion._

_"_ **_Why is this?_ ** _" he asked, stiffening slightly as his brow furrowed._

_Adramelech slid an arm around his waist to calm him, leaning his head back against his lover's warm cinnabar skin with an asking look, "_ **_Let her explain._ ** _" he requested softly._

_Azazel met his loaded gaze, relaxing as he leaned down to receive a brief kiss from his Chancellor, his eyes eventually shifting back to Lilith and nodding for her to continue._

_Lilith smiled at the exchange before continuing, "_ **_We are currently dealing with the same fallen angel, the thief seeking to reclaim ownership of your crown. We need to utilize its power to banish him from our realm,_ ** _" she paused, thinking, "_ **_Once we have achieved that, I will be able to return it to you- but I need a favor._ ** _"_

_Azazel tilted his head to the side and nodded once, Lilith continued._

_"_ **_The current user was revived from death by the power of your crown, having been entirely paralyzed in her living days,_ ** _" Lilith's eyes pleaded with the King, "_ **_I need you to grant life to the user; functional, unhindered life, without its power._ ** _"_

_Azazel blinked and gave a genuine smile, his sharp eyes crinkling at the corners, "_ **_For you, my dear, it shall be done._ ** _"_

_Lilith held back any immediate joy, "_ **_I have your word? No strings attached?_ ** _"_

_The King nodded, "_ **_You have my word, no strings._ ** _"_

_"_ **_And me as your witness,_ ** _" Adramelech added, smiling at Lilith before looking up at his lover, admiring, "_ **_I'll hold him to it._ ** _"_

_Lilith smiled then at their agreement, giving a swift nod as the fire in her eyes grew._

_She sprouted her claws, watching as the red glow of the room reflected off of the ridged surface, her eyes meeting Azazel's one final time._

_"_ **_I will see you when the time comes._ ** _" she stated finally._

_Azazel nodded once again, pulling Adramelech closer to him as he silently bid Lilith farewell._

_She turned towards the grand doors behind her, the tarasks opening them for her as she took her leave, the feeling of falling returning as she submerged into darkness._

  
  
  
  


Lilith woke with a jolt, swiftly sitting up in bed as she tried to catch her breath, her mind reeling with everything she saw in her dream.

She dropped her head into her hands, her heart racing as she sucked in air: Eden, Hell, Adramelech, Azazel...

  
  


Her eyes darted around the room, searching for-

  
  


Mary. 

  
  


She threw her sheets over her legs, standing shakily as she sought out a clock.

_‘1:13 AM.’_ she thought, her eyes falling on the door as she approached.

She turned the handle soundlessly and slipped out into the hallway, the temperature cooler than usual due to the lack of activity.

Lilith began down the long stretch in front of her, her feet carrying her exactly where she needed to be, where she felt drawn to.

She turned a corner into a smaller hallway near the back of ARQTech, her eyes falling on a figure bathed in the moonlight.

Mary sat up on one end of the nook, a blanket draped over her bent legs, which propped up her arms, her hands clasped out in front of her. She was awake at the late night hour, her gaze focused on the vastness of the night sky and the bright moon outside the window.

Lilith let out a shaky breath, her eyes flickering at the scene. It was so simple, so candid and normal, but it caused something within her to burst. She felt as though a tidal wave of joy and love washed over her, a smile coming to her lips as she took in the scene.

She began slowly approaching, stilling as Mary turned to her as she neared, her brow furrowing slightly at seeing the younger woman at this time of night.

“Lilith?” she inquired softly, shifting so that she fully faced the other woman, her legs hanging over the edge of the nook bed.

“Mary.” Lilith whispered, once again moving towards the older woman slowly until she stood in front of her.

Mary looked up at her, her eyes searching for a clue as to her sudden appearance, “What’s wrong?” she asked, taking in the faraway look in Lilith’s eyes.

Lilith’s expression softened as she smiled lightly, reaching forward to place a hand on Mary’s cheek, her thumb brushing her skin, “Nothing,” she replied quietly, Mary’s gaze shifting between both of her eyes at the unexpected touch.

Lilith placed her opposing hand lower on the other side of Mary’s face, her eyes shifting to her thumb as she grazed Mary’s jawline before gently running across her bottom lip. 

She shifted her gaze back to Mary’s, her eyes fully open with all that she’s learned, all that she knows about her past- about herself.

Lilith released a breathy laugh, causing Mary’s expression to soften as the corners of her mouth quirked up in response, the younger woman shaking her head softly.

“Nothing’s wrong,” Lilith whispered, her hands gently urging Mary to come forward, slowly, slowly, their distance narrowing to a breath.

“Not anymore.” she breathed, closing the distance between them.

Mary froze at first, a moment passing before her arms snaked around Lilith’s middle, pulling her closer.

The kiss was slow and patient, neither of them seeking to rush what came naturally.

Second by second, Lilith felt that eternal void within her heart, the one that sought out Mary and only Mary, begin to fill. 

When they pulled away to breathe, Mary looked up at Lilith, completely taken with everything about the woman before her. 

She untangled her arms and took Lilith’s hands, moving back into the nook, inviting the younger woman near.

Lilith took the offer.

She moved forward, settling one leg on either side of Mary’s, straddling her lap as her hands returned to their original place. She tilted Mary’s head back, her eyes asking a silent question.

Mary nodded softly as Lilith leaned forward, their lips coming together once again in a deep kiss.

Mary wrapped her arms back around Lilith’s waist, pulling her flush to her, craving contact she didn’t know she needed.

  
  


The minutes multiplied as they held each other, the blackness of the night sky shifting to the earliest of morning blue, eventually settling down on the soft cushions beneath them.

They settled into each other, trading little touches, brushes, kisses; exchanging warmth as they basked in the other’s presence.

Lying there, their faces buried into the crooks of each other’s necks in a relaxed embrace, they eventually fell into a peaceful sleep- home at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> o h my go d. oh my god . ggggGFFFFFFF HOME AT LAST. can you believe they DID THAT? tell me what you're thinking down in the comments below!! and drop a kudos for me if you loved it!! aaahh god!!!


	8. someone to make you come through, who'll always be there as frightened as you of being alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- song insps: Opium of the People by Slipknot, I'll Be by Boyce Avenue, Conscious by Broods  
> \- writing tumblr for questions/thoughts: piedpiperwriter  
> \- this one took a wee bit more willpower to write, some may find it filler-y, but for the plot? it's delicious.  
> \- remember to leave a comment and drop a kudos at the end, i love ur feedback, it helps me grow :)  
> \- as always: enjoy!

The gravelly dirt road dug into the bare soles of his feet, each step taking him closer to his sought out destination.

After the void opened him up onto the road to ARQTech, Apollyon began his trek on foot, using the time to reflect on his deal with Adriel and what it would truly mean for him.

He knew that Adriel could not be trusted, the angel’s reputation of deceit and lies making him infamous amongst the whispers of the other fallen, even transcending Samyaza in notoriety.

He knew that Adriel held power, specifically the power to control the possessed and those who possess, instructing wraith demons to do his bidding. 

Apollyon also knew that Adriel, in his own ignorance, had fallen for his fabricated history; he knew of his attempt to overthrow Asmodai, but knew not of his true origins- nobody knew but Apollyon himself.

He knew that his own power from Zeus, Hades, and Poseidon easily outranked Adriel’s; his humanity, that Adriel lacked, gave him a determination and preparedness to overcome hardships that befell him; his divine nature, originating from Malakim at the hand of God, gave him the gift of foresight and knowledge the human realm has not yet come to know.

  
  


Apollyon knew that, should something catch his eye, he would reconsider his plans.

  
  


Amid his thoughts, structure came into view, the shrubland around Apollyon becoming less sparse and unkempt as he came nearer, the yellow-orange gravelly road turning into red asphalt as the heat signature changed.

The mirage at his distance gave it a rippling appearance, the symbol in the company’s logo coming into focus against the heated black of the banner surrounding it.

Apollyon tore into the fabric of spacetime, stepping into the void to quicken his arrival to the surrounding area of ARQTech. As the void carried him, he traced the sigil of Bael in the airless space, seeking to access invisibility from the world around him.

The tear opened up on top of a nearby hill on the outskirts of Milan, approximately 5 kilometers away from where ARQTech stood, a nearly perfect distance for his investigation into this group of interest.

He crouched down, his bo staff collapsing into a palmable handle, and turned it over in his hands as he sat, thinking.

His eyes settled back on the ancient symbol, his eyes dilating to take in the full heat signature of the banner against the modernized architecture.

A Greek  _ Ψ _ , or  _ psi _ , foolishly set in place to replace the ‘T’ in ARQTech, gave Apollyon a grim idea.

_ ‘Seven hundred.’ _

Apollyon’s eyes unfocused as he thought, proactively formulating a plan B that would reach past the goals even Adriel had originally set forth. 

An idea that would exalt this perversion of a demon to a height of power none had seen before, let alone imagine.

  
  


~

  
  


“... yes, I’m looking at your progression charts now, your power generation is brilliant. How’s your voice?” Jillian inquired, taking in the response from the other end of the line, “That’s fantastic. Well, all things considered, I could have you transported to our main location here in Milan to test your abilities; the training and living quarters are finishing up construction for your arrival. When would be most tangible for you?” she asked, the voice on the phone responded, “Excellent, I’ll see you in a few days. Rest up and we’ll examine your abilities when you arrive… of course, of course, you too, goodbye.”

Jillian hung up the phone, sitting back in her chair, a satisfied expression on her face.

Her biggest scientific breakthrough was that of the quantum portal, of which popularized her work in trans-dimensional exploration, thus making her somewhat of a celebrity in the world of natural science and technology.

And, of course, challenged the ideas of the Catholic church, making her their public enemy number one.

This, however, was not Jillian’s only line of work, nor was it her first.

In the same vein, she had begun working on pseudo-organic cybernetic human enhancement systems. Cyborg technology, to put it plainly.

The prototypes were highly experimental, though, Jillian was able to find a willing client to test each development as it was created.

Abilities ranging from super strength, speed, agility- even faux flight from explosive power. 

The technological enhancements even super-charged her client’s senses and natural abilities: sharp, far reaching vision; sensitive hearing; vocal output that could reach deadly decibel levels.

It was like something out of a comic book, and needless to say, Jillian was impressed with herself. 

Interrupting her stream of thoughts, a notification pinged on her phone.

  
  


**DNA RESULTS: AVAILABLE**

  
  


Jillian held her breath as her heart began to thrum with nerves, eager to understand even the slightest bit more of completely uncharted territory: the supernatural.

She tapped the link in the text, the browser page opening up on her phone before she requested that it be opened on her desktop.

Her computer screen changed as the interactive document loaded, a series of simulated chromosomes popping up onto the screen.

At a glance, each autosomal pair looked structurally normal; no abnormalities due to miscoding.

She clicked on the first set of autosomes to get a closer look, the literal DNA coding in each one breaking down into the ACGT base pairs in code.

Jillian stared at her screen, blinking a few times over the course of too many seconds as her eyes adjusted to what she was seeing.

  
  


This had to have been an error.

  
  


She scribbled down the nucleotide in question, then clicked on the next autosomal pair.

Her jaw went slack.

Jillian took in the data, trying to make sense of something that had no sense, no explanation.

She clicked on the next pair of autosomes, and the next, and the next, being met with the same unexplainable letter standing for a substance she could not place.

_ ‘Is that… an O?' _ she thought, trying to flit through her mental library of expertise, coming up with nothing to place this new and baffling figure in the context of the human genome.

She looked back down at her notepad, the singular letter staring back up at her as she placed her fist under her chin, brainstorming the meaning behind that which she had never seen let alone conceptualized.

Her eyes shifted over to the outline on the side of the interactive document, reading the brief yet bolded text.

  
  
  


**NO MATCHES FOUND IN DATABASE**

  
  


Jillian scoffed to herself, dumbfounded.

“What a circus,” she whispered, amazed at how after turning every supernatural or scientific corner, she was met with new and even more confusing concepts.

Jillian leaned forward as she continued to examine the base pairs in each autosome, noticing that this new nucleotide- characterized only by 'O'- could bind to both adenine  _ and _ guanine, instead of being fixed to one like the other two proteins. 

She shook her head, clicking open a new tab on her browser.

  
  


_ 'Base pairs beginning with O' _

  
  


Nothing.

Jillian bit at her lip, typing in another search.

  
  


_ 'Nucleotides beginning with O.' _

  
  


_ 'Proteins beginning with O.' _

  
  


_ 'Organic compounds beginning with O.' _

  
  


Each search produced nothing of use, leaving nothing for Jillian to bounce her thoughts off of.

Then she had an idea. An otherwise foolish idea, but one nonetheless.

  
  


_ 'Supernatural DNA structures.' _

  
  


The search produced a few forum archives talking about fictional comics or television shows, so Jillian tried a last ditch search as she crossed her fingers.

  
  


_ 'Ancient Greek genome.' _

  
  


A single web page popped up, linking to a blog maintained by a- now deceased- explorer by the name of Dr. James A. Henkelberg. 

Jillian's eyes scanned the page as she scrolled, passing by articles hypothesizing locations of mythical weapons and armor, postulating the existence of impossible substances, eventually landing on one title.

  
  


_ Hippocrates and the Divine Beast _

  
  


The article delved into a story surrounding the long lost myth of Hippocrates' interaction with a being possessing four wings, a human body, the feet of a calf, the faces of a human, lion, eagle, and ox. The story went on to tell how the beast offered itself to Hippocrates in its last moments.

  
  


_ 'Take my flesh, hide it from your prophets and kings, away so that it may be found only in times of dire need.' _

_ Hippocrates did as instructed, taking part of the beast's flesh and preserving it in salt and gauze, locking it away in a bronze box and burying it away in the inland of Kos, Greece. _

_ It wasn't until the late 70s that a group of Portuguese archaeologists uncovered the bronze box, eroded to the point of nearly falling apart. To their surprise, the contents within were completely intact, showing no signs of aging. They passed the contents of the box along to molecular biologists in hopes of figuring out what and how the flesh remained as it did. _

_ Under an electron microscope, the biologists were able to view the DNA structure of the preserved flesh, but they were baffled when they could not identify one of the nucleotides in the recurring base pairs. Chalking it up to some sort of extensive practical joke, the biologists returned the flesh to the archaeologists, who, now having no use for it, threw it into the Aegean sea, never to be seen again. _

_ It is said that the uncovered nucleotide was marked by 'O'. At the time, the scientists examining this flesh did not know what it was or where it came from, only that the archaeologists needed insight.  _

_ Based on my research, angels and adjacent biblical figures had a unique genetic coding as a result of being crafted by God. The 'O', standing for originine, was a single ring of carbon and nitrogen able to bond with both adenine and guanine, its physical structure being a singular hexagonal ring. _

_ The presence of originine gave the beings many gifts, some of which are described in the Christian bible, such as transcendance to heaven, celestial travel, and divine powers for defense against evil.  _

_ Originine, however, also dwelled in fallen biblical beings, as well as demonic figures written in folklore of the 15th and 16th centuries. In these beings, originine granted descendance to hell, interdimensional travel, and infernal powers to offend those who so offend. _

  
  


Jillian sat back in her office chair, eyes distant.

  
  


_ 'There's no way,' _ she thought, her jaw shifting.

  
  


_ 'And yet, it absolutely could be.' _ she finished, sitting up and clicking back to the document, clicking on autosome set number 18, her eyes once again being met with the 'O'. 

_ 'What  _ are _ you, Lilith?' _ she wondered, her mind bouncing around between angel, demon, or something else entirely.

This young woman was allegedly killed by a tarask, dragged to hell, and then reappeared back on earth, presumably unscathed.

Either something happened during her time away- which, based off of the scarring Jillian had found in one of the exam rooms, rang true, or there was a deeper secret that was yet to be uncovered.

  
  


And Jillian may have just uncovered it.

  
  


Her wandering thoughts came to a halt as a knock sounded through the room, Jillian’s eyes focusing on the hazy silhouette of a raven-haired figure standing on the other side of the frosted glass.

  
  


~

  
  


Lilith had awoken that morning to the feeling of the sun's gentle rays against her face, the feeling of strong arms wrapped around her middle.

She smiled when Mary’s hold tightened, placing a hand over the older woman’s settled over her stomach. 

They had fallen asleep in the nook after Lilith found Mary in the early morning hour, surprising her with the intensity of her gaze and the softness of her touch; her kiss.

Lilith turned gently in Mary’s arms, eventually facing her fully as she hazily opened her eyes, smiling slightly.

“Morning,” she whispered, her eyes focusing on the younger woman before her as Lilith placed a hand on the side of Mary’s neck, her thumb beginning to stroke her jaw.

Mary’s eyes shifted between both of Lilith’s, the words in her mind hesitantly making their way onto her tongue.

“We should talk about this,” she said softly, Lilith’s thumb continuing its movements as her eyes shifted from Mary’s lips to her eyes, nodding softly.

“We will,” she responded, Mary’s eyes flickering slightly at the implication of waiting, “Do you trust me?”

Mary’s gaze fixed on Lilith’s, causing the other woman’s thumb to still, the hand gripping Lilith’s waist squeezing gently as she nodded slowly, “Yes.”

The corners of Lilith’s mouth tilted upwards as she moved closer to Mary, their faces now mere inches from each other as her thumb shifted to brush over the older woman’s bottom lip.

“It’s a lot to get into,” Lilith whispered, her eyes shifting back up to Mary’s, “I need time to process it.”

Mary’s eyes shifted between Lilith’s, searching, as she nodded slowly in understanding, lightly nudging Lilith closer to her, “I believe you.”

Lilith gave a half smile and closed the distance between them, their lips connecting.

It was sweet and slow, nonverbally communicating the patience Lilith was asking for, Mary complying to her silent request as she held her securely.

When they separated, Lilith nudged her nose against Mary’s, letting out a light exhale as she smiled, her eyes closing.

This is where she belonged, this is where she thrived.

Lilith tilted her head forward, Mary’s touching hers as they lied there, breathing the other in.

“I will tell you everything,” Lilith whispered, the feeling of Mary’s fingers methodically moving against her back providing comfort, “I promise.”

She felt Mary nod gently against her before angling her neck upwards to place a kiss against Lilith’s forehead, “I know.”

They allowed a few more minutes of mid morning silence to pass, the busying sounds of ARQTech beginning to pick up in frequency and volume, urging them out of the safe bubble they had made.

Lilith sat up hesitantly, instantly missing the feeling of Mary’s arms around her. Pushing the lovesick thoughts aside, new questions formed in her mind as she stretched her stiff muscles. She placed her hand in Mary’s, gaining her attention.

“I’m going to go check on the others,” she said simply, receiving a nod from the older woman, “And you,” she added, slipping off the nook bed to face Mary, making a light faux face, “Should go take a shower.”

Mary made a face in response, retracting her hand from Lilith’s to lightly smack her wrist, “Rude.”

Lilith exhaled a laugh before leaning down one final time, giving Mary a departing peck, “And brush your teeth.” she said finally, slowly turning as Mary nudged her away.

“Get outta here before you offend me some more.” Mary retorted, receiving a chuckle in response as she watched Lilith disappear around the corner of the hallway.

A few seconds passed before she brought her cupped hand up to her mouth, breathing into the little space before pursing her lips.

“It’s not  _ that _ bad,” she muttered to herself, sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the nook.

She stood and stretched, her feet eventually taking her in the direction of the private wash rooms, snagging a towel and toothbrush from a supply closet on her way there.

  
  


~

  
  


Lilith made her way down the hallways leading back to her sisters’ shared room, replaying the morning in her head.

She smiled to herself, the joy of realizing that she had found that which was missing from her life: truth.

She had found the answers to her own looming questions in a dream-vision, honesty pouring out of the most unlikely of characters: demons from another world, demons who knew of another Lilith. A Lilith she herself is still getting to know.

  
  


A Lilith who is fully and completely in love with Mary.

  
  


She wasn’t stupid, she knew what she felt, but that was  _ feeling  _ it. 

Recognizing it, categorizing it, that gave it definition. It made it that much more real and that much more intimidating of a reality. It was easier to do things in the moment and get lost in her emotions than it was to flesh those emotions out and identify them- especially to Mary’s face.

  
  


Lilith was knocked out of her thoughts by the high pitched ringing in her head, her hands coming up to cover her ears in an attempt to buffer the intensity of the sound.

She whimpered quietly as it subsided, giving her enough reprieve to scan her surroundings.

Her eyes fixed on an eerily familiar relic reflecting the mid-morning sun’s rays, sitting in the corner of Ava’s room. 

Lilith took a few steps forward, the ringing coming back in full force stopping her feet as she winced. She covered her ears and whimpered again, trying to fight the pain reverberating through her skull.

She took in deep breaths, attempting to focus her rattled mind as she gave one harsh exhale, the ringing dissipating entirely.

  
  


The next moment she opened her eyes, she noticed the environment around her had taken on a warmer hue, as though the world was being viewed through a sepia filter.

She approached the door again, catching her reflection as she reached for the handle. She stared into the reflective glass, recognizing a new yet ancient feature in her appearance.

  
  


Her eyes were ablaze, filled with flames, the exact same way she had seen herself in her dream.

  
  


She blinked a few times, shaking any nervousness from the new development from her mind as she let herself into Ava’s room.

Once inside, she noticed certain objects held colors they did not possess with her normal vision, including Ava herself.

The halo bearer lied still and unmoving, as was normal, but Lilith saw something more: a literal halo.

Ava’s figure was highlighted with a pure white light, gentle in her unconscious state, translating her divine nature to Lilith with her new ability.

Lilith’s eyes were attracted elsewhere, however, noticing something she hadn’t seen in all of her years with the OCS.

The Cruciform sword leaned against the wall in the corner of the room, but it was… flickering.

It varied by the second, becoming dull or faint blue as the seconds passed.

Lilith moved towards it, studying it, before picking it up by the handle.

Suddenly, the flickering stopped.

Lilith squinted, closing her eyes briefly before returning to her normal vision, the metal appearing as dull as it did with her demonic vision.

She had no reaction to the sword, no high pitched ringing… at first.

A sharp pain struck within her head, harsher than those before, as if the sword was trying to…

She squeezed her eyes shut and willed her vision to revert back to what it was before, seeking to figure out what exactly was going on as the pain in her head disappeared, again.

Her fiery eyes widened as they opened, being met with the brightness of the blue she was viewing, as if the divinium itself were trying to reach out to the space around her- 

To  _ see _ .

Lilith felt a pang of unease at this thought, willing herself to think of how or why this would-

  
  


Adriel.

  
  


He had this created, his armor- the sword. He brought the divinium to the human world.

He would have had the knowledge to tamper with it in ways that would serve him.

  
  


Lilith’s suspicions rose as she began to walk backwards towards the door, her demonic vision staying intact as she made her exit, not wishing to chance another distracting headache.

As she walked out of Ava’s room, she breezed past the quarters in which her sisters occupied, rounding the corner at the end of the hall, passing the nurse’s station, and taking one final right before a familiar door came into view. 

She stopped in front of the frosted glass and raised a fist, knocking against Jillian’s office door.

  
  


~

  
  


Jillian approached the entrance to her office, cracking the door open to see Lilith.

“Good morni-”

The greeting died on her lips as her eyes took in the rather terrifying sight.

Bright orange and yellow fire in Lilith’s eyes stared back at her, her gaze momentarily shifting down to the weapon the young woman at her door was holding, her lips parted as her mind blanked.

“We have a problem.” Lilith said simply, nodding her head forward in a request to be let in, Jillian stepping aside in a combination of fear and urgency, as she herself had news for the former nun.

“I’m afraid I also have news for you,” Jillian responded, willing her voice to remain steady as she rounded her desk, leaning her hands forward on it, “Your DNA test results came back.”

Lilith took in Jillian’s attempt to appear unfazed by her appearance, taking a seat in the chair opposite to the desk.

“You needn’t be frightened, this is simply for my own defense,” she stated, noticing the slightest tremble in Jillian’s hands, “I promise.”

Jillian stilled as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, nodding slowly at the younger woman’s words, “I believe you.” she responded, her eyes shifting to Lilith momentarily, “You may want to come around to see for yourself.”

Lilith placed the Cruciform sword against the wall beside her before standing, making her way over to the other side of the desk as Jillian began her explanation.

“In a human DNA structure, there are four types of nucleotides, or proteins, that form the double helix; these are adenine, guanine, cytosine, and thymine, and they’re marked in genetic code by the first letter of each of their names, as seen here,” Jillian stated, pointing at the screen to solidify her example. 

“Yours, however,” she continued, clicking on another set of autosomes with a greater recurring frequency of the unknown substance, “Has an additional nucleotide, marked with an ‘O’.”

Lilith blinked, looking back and forth from the screen to Jillian, waiting for her to continue as her eyes blazed.

Jillian swallowed, continuing, “I was able to find one source from a deceased explorer, recounting a myth of Hippocrates; he spoke of a beast with four faces, that of a human, a lion, an ox, and an eagle, with four wings. The dying beast requested that Hippocrates preserve part of his flesh and hide it away; the flesh was found centuries later- completely unchanged, I may add- and examined by scientists. They found the same marker in the DNA and didn’t know what to make of it.”

Lilith was still, her lips forming a thin line as she took in the information and connected it to her own knowledge, Jillian continuing.

“The explorer, Dr. James A. Henkelberg, stated that through his own research- both historical and biblical- that this ‘O’ marker stood for ‘originine’, a nucleotide found in the genetic makeup of supernatural creatures and beings,” she said, her eyes fixed on Lilith’s thoughtful expression.

“The name itself suggests something ancient, perhaps even dating back to the days of creation or even before,” she added, pointing a finger at her computer monitor, “And judging by the lack of matches in the extensive database, my best guess is that you, Lilith,” she said quietly, turning back to the younger woman, her eyes wide, “Are not of this world.”

Lilith’s eyes flickered as she nodded slowly, agreeing, “I can confirm your suspicions,” she responded, taking a deep breath, “I had a dream of my past life leading up to now- the beast Dr. Henkelberg spoke of is described in the book of Ezekiel, a cherub from Heaven, the same guardians that looked after the garden of Eden after the fall of man,” Lilith slowly rounded the desk, her hands fidgeting, “I know this because I preceded Eve.”

Jillian stilled, her lips parted in greater shock as she waited for the rest.

“My name is not just allegorical, it is quite literal,” Lilith stated, her fiery eyes meeting Jillian’s wide ones, “I am Lilith-  _ the _ Lilith. That’s how I survived being dragged to hell; I had been reincarnated here for-” she cut herself off, realizing that some things cannot yet be revealed, especially to those indirectly involved, “... for a greater purpose.”

Jillian shook her head, confused, “I don’t understand.”

Lilith gave a brief smile before shaking her own head, “I think it’s best to keep some things… under wraps, for everyone’s sake,” she said gently, taking her former seat, “What you need to know is this: I am not a threat, despite my origins, and my goal here on earth is to fight against greater evil,” she stated firmly, trying to ease Jillian’s nerves surrounding the subject, “Which brings me to something else,” she added, pointing to the Cruciform sword, “I need you to examine that as soon as possible.”

Jillian’s gaze shifted to the weapon, her eyebrows furrowing, “That’s your greatest defense against demons, is it not? Why would you need-”

“Our greatest asset may be our greatest threat,” she said urgently, leaning forward onto her elbows to try and reach Jillian with her words, “Please, is there anything you can do to help me?”   
  


Jillian looked into the flames of Lilith’s eyes, then back to the sword, nodding slowly, “I do have a few different microscopes that can look into the structure in great detail, if that’s what you’re asking for?” she proposed, receiving a nod from Lilith.

“How soon can we do this?” she asked, watching as Jillian shrugged, slightly resigned.

“Might as well do it now, I suppose, since this was urgent enough for you to arrive at my doorstep,” she replied, moving around the desk to offer Lilith a hand to stand, “And you can fill me in on your… developments on our way to the lab?”

Lilith gave a half smile, nodding in agreement as she stood, grabbing the Cruciform sword before following Jillian out of the office.

“I have… abilities, if that wasn’t apparent,” Lilith began as they walked down the hallway, “You’ve seen my claws, and you know of my healing abilities; this sight, it allows me to see… well, things that aren’t of this world- realm, rather.”

Jillian nodded, inquiring, “So, why the sword? You said there was a problem?”

Lilith’s eyes shifted slightly, “Yes, I noticed that I would get these sharp headaches after coming back from Hell. I assumed it was a side effect from crossing realms, but I noticed- with my vision change- that the sword would… glow, not unlike when the halo was active near it, but subtly in that it was imperceptible under normal circumstances,” she stated, glancing at Jillian, whose brow was furrowed, “The problem is with the fact that the halo is not at full power- it can’t activate divinium in its current state… I think someone- Adriel- is trying to use it to…  _ see _ , if that makes sense.”

Jillian pulled out her keys to unlock the door they paused in front of, her hands stilling momentarily as she turned to Lilith, “Like a one way mirror.” she proposed, opening the door to let them in.

Lilith followed her in, nodding slowly with understanding, “Yeah, like a one way mirror.”

Jillian hummed, her expression thoughtful as she turned the lights on, pausing as she turned to Lilith, “What, exactly, are you seeking to find with this? Because the type of microscope will yield different results.”

Lilith shifted her eyes from Jillian to the different types of equipment at her disposal, her gaze fixing on one modest looking set up next to a computer monitor, “What is that one?”

Jillian turned to the microscope in question, “ _ That _ is an atomic force microscope. You’d be able to scan and see the chemical bonds between atoms in the shape that they appear on paper.” she responded. 

Something clicked in Lilith’s head.

“As in we’d be able to find chemical bonds by shape, like originine?”

Jillian blinked as she caught on to Lilith’s suggestion, “Are you implying that originine could be present in the sword’s chemical makeup?”

Lilith nodded.

“And you think this could be the reason behind what’s alerting you of this spying, because of the abilities this protein grants?”

Lilith nodded again.

Jillian squinted slightly as she thought, her eyes shifting to the sword in the young woman’s hand. 

It wasn’t  _ too  _ outlandish an idea- she supposed that, perhaps, during the melting process, Adriel could have added droplets of his blood to his weapons and armor, enhancing the already underworldly nature of divinium’s make-up. In any other case, the blood would have been destroyed on contact and this theory would be null, but for this… Jillian guessed that a genetic structure made by God himself would be stronger than that.

She nodded slowly, taking a few tentative steps forward, “I’ll need a sample of the blade.”

Lilith gripped the weapon slightly before holding it out to Jillian, handle and blade resting on her open palms in offering.

Jillian stepped forward and took the sword, promptly turning towards the prep counter behind and to the left of her. She set it down and paused, thinking of what it is that she’d need.

She turned to the supply closet, pulling out a rather industrial looking hotplate, an iron pick with a flat but sharp edge, heat proof gloves, and goggles. She turned on the hotplate, placing the tip of the sword on the surface, and watching as minute by minute, the most exposed portion of the divinium became a bright blue, hotter than anything else she had yet to test.

Once nearly neon in hue, she took the iron pick and pressed down on the sharp tip, hard, cutting off a piece of the divine metal. Once cut, she promptly filled a thick iron cup with water, dropping the divinium into the cup and cooling it with a loud hiss.

Lilith watched as Jillian turned on the microscope while the metal cooled, fiddling with the computer and the machine itself. She watched as Jillian fixed the now manageably cooled sample to the adhesive slide, positioning it on the machine before the whirring of the active scanning began.

They both waited in relative silence while the machine scanned the metal piece, the fine cantilever running over the sample’s surface as Jillian chose the image ‘zoom’ to be less than a single nanometer, small enough to see atoms.

An image began to produce, frame by frame, as the scan produced a semi-blurry image of hexagonal-resembling circles, of which Lilith could not identify.

Jillian, however, pulled out her phone and opened her photos app, scrolling through a folder labeled ‘divinium’, pulling up a screenshot of the proposed molecular structure. She held her phone up to the monitor in comparison, Lilith’s eyes darting back and forth.

“You see how the branches line up, how they look the same?” she asked quietly, Lilith nodding.

Jillian paused for only a second as she eyed an additional structure attached to that of the divinium, opening up her phone browser and selecting a page from her search history, the one where Henkelberg explained originine.

She scrolled down the page and paused on an image, her eyes shifting between her phone and the computer screen, slowly holding up the image to the monitor.

“I think,” she began, Lilith exhaling as she recognized the match in structure, “Your theory is correct.”

Chemically bonded to the divinium structure was that of originine, confirming Lilith’s suspicions of Adriel’s spying by tampering with the divinium the OCS has been using for centuries.

She let out a sigh of relief to have one of her many questions answered, only to have several more pop up in her head in response.

If the divinium at their disposal was faulty, what would they use to combat evil?

Are there any other metals or compounds that could be found or made?

If so, what were they- where were they?

Lilith shook her head to stop her rapid thoughts, her hand reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose, “Do you have some sort of encyclopedia or  _ something _ documenting your supernatural studies, particularly to do with..?” Lilith asked, unable to finish her thought..

“To do with different substances?” Jillian finished for her, Lilith nodding quickly as the gears turned in her head, “Yes, in my office, if you please?”

“Yes- wait,” Lilith paused suddenly, a new thought coming to mind, “Meet me in the library, bring your findings. I need to fill the others in before we discuss anything else.”

Jillian nodded in understanding, “Of course, I’ll be there,” she responded, opening the door to allow them both out before turning back to Lilith, “Don’t be too long?”

Lilith nodded as her feet carried her to the door, “I won’t be.”

  
  


~

  
  


About half an hour later, Jillian watched as Lilith, Camila, Beatrice, and Mary all filed into the library, varying looks of shock or awe on their faces.

“How did you realize that you were…  _ Lilith _ ? I can’t imagine that was easy to swallow.” Camila asked, pulling out a chair as she gazed at Lilith with a combination of confusion and wonder.

Beatrice was otherwise silent, her eyes distant as she tried to make sense of this elaborate puzzle of a life she’s come to live. 

Mary looked thoughtful, her gaze not fixed anywhere in particular, but somehow always finding herself looking back to Lilith.

Her hands fidgeted at the question, not entirely ready to announce her epiphany to everyone at once, “It’s… complicated. What’s important is that I know now, and we can use my abilities to our advantage,” she replied, looking down to her fingers as she willed her claws to appear, “I’ve just got to learn how to utilize them.”

Mary’s lips quirked upwards slightly as she moved over to the seat next to Lilith, sitting beside her as she slid her hand into Lilith’s underneath the table and squeezing, the claws disappearing at the touch.

“So, if we can no longer use divinium, what will we use to defend ourselves? The archives and my own research didn’t cover any new or known metals… or frankly anything else that could challenge demons as well as divinium.” Beatrice stated, a hand coming up to massage her temple. Why couldn’t they seemingly ever catch a break?

Camila perked up slightly, remembering something she had written down during her and Beatrice’s researching session the day prior, “I actually think I found something recently; it’s in your notebook- I’ll be right back!” she replied, promptly excusing herself and running out of the library.

From the head of the table, Jillian fondly watched the youngest of them retreat, opening the binder full of notes and print-outs from her own exploits, “I’ve compiled a list of otherwise unknown substances during my years of theological research, hopefully something in here could help you fill the gap divinium has left.”

Beatrice reached forward and slid the book towards her, scanning the first contents page before flipping to a section marked “metals/metalloids”, her eyes searching the pages.

Lilith and Mary eyed her from across the table, Mary’s thumb brushing across the back of Lilith’s hand. 

Lilith glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, squeezing the older woman’s hand in response to her comforting movements.

Beatrice paused on one rather lengthy description, reading each line thoroughly, “What can you tell me about-”

Camila burst through the library doors.

“Adamantine!” the youngest of them exclaimed as she hurried over to the table, plopping the notebook down beside Jillian’s binder as she caught her breath.

“It’s said to have been used by the Greek gods for their armor and weapons, the same metal used for the sword Perseus used to kill Medusa,” she explained, her eyes shifting over to the page the binder was open to, “Oh, we think the same.” she said quietly, smiling slightly.

Beatrice nodded, “It’s definitely intriguing, though my only concern now is: how do we obtain it?”

Jillian cleared her throat quietly, the group’s eyes all coming to rest on the scientist, “I have come up with a... formula of sorts that could yield your chosen metal, though its stored in our metallurgy lab separate from this main building,” she stated, her eyes meeting each of theirs in a silent question, “I can show you, if you’d like?”

Camila popped up out of her chair, “Yes, please. This stuff is my specialty,” she said, looking over her shoulder to Beatrice, who was smiling at the younger woman’s giddiness, “Well, if you count enthusiasm as a specialty.”

Jillian smiled as she placed a hand lightly on Camila’s back, guiding her towards the library doors, “It definitely helps the process, dear. Come, I’ll show you what can be done.”

The rest of them stood to leave, Beatrice catching the last second of contact between Lilith and Mary as she closed the binder and notebook, tucking each under her arm.

Lilith muttered ‘go ahead, I’ll catch up’ to Mary, who nodded in response before turning to leave, pushing through the doors.

Beatrice turned to Lilith, “Something else going on?” she inquired gently, Lilith’s eyes fixed on her fidgeting fingers.

“Yes, I think so,” she replied quietly, coming around the table to stand before Beatrice, “Camila asked about how I realized who I really am,” she stated, her eyes coming up to meet Beatrice’s gaze.

The shorter woman nodded, waiting for Lilith to continue.

Lilith smiled slightly, her fingers folding through each other as she formed the words in her mind.

“I’m in love with Mary.”

It was a simple statement, but it brought a flood of emotions to Beatrice’s chest.

“In recognizing that, I was able to unlock my past, my power,” she continued, reaching forward to grasp Beatrice’s free hand, “I was able to be my true self.”

Beatrice’s eyes flickered as the words echoed through her mind, subconsciously storing them away because of the weight behind them.

She placed the binder and notebook down onto the library table and moved toward Lilith in one swift motion, pulling the taller woman into an embrace.

She squeezed her friend, feeling a warmth develop within her at Lilith’s confession, “I’m so happy to hear that,” she whispered, receiving a squeeze in response, feeling her sister nod against her.

“Me too,” Lilith replied, pulling away shortly after to see Beatrice’s shiny eyes and vibrant smile.

“Have you told her yet?” Beatrice asked, reaching to pick up the recently discarded books.

Lilith shook her head, “Not in so many words,” she replied, her steps slowly following Beatrice as they approached the doors, “I only found out last night, despite the eternity of knowing,” she added, looking to her friend.

Beatrice nodded gently, pushing her way out into the hall, “I feel like I can say with confidence, whenever you are ready to tell her, she will be open to you,” she gave, her eyes meeting Lilith’s, “Thank you for telling me.”

Lilith smiled, draping an arm around Beatrice’s shoulders as they walked in the same direction as the far away silhouettes, “Honesty is key when it comes to family, you know.”

Beatrice smiled, the words ringing true for a multitude of situations currently warring within her, a certain someone coming to mind as she nodded.

“Yeah, yeah it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> camila my badass multifaceted stem nerd ilysm. much more to come as we get closer to the mid-season finale!! im excited.  
> drop a kudos!! drop a comment!! let me know what u think, and thank u for reading!! <3


	9. being alive, being alive, being alive.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." 1 Corinthians 13:4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- song insps: Aftermath by Adam Lambert, Who Wants To Live Forever by Breaking Benjamin, Voices In The Halls by Neon Trees  
> \- tumblr for fic updates and questions: piedpiperwriter  
> \- real eyes realize real lies oOOoooooOo no rly the theme is like *galaxy brain meme*  
> \- remember to drop a kudos and leave a comment at the end!! mwah <3  
> \- as always, enjoy!

“Oh, whoa!” Camila mused, rushing over to the pristine blacksmithing equipment, “It’s so new…”

“Not new, just maintained well,” Jillian countered, approaching the young woman, “But rarely used, yes.”

Beatrice and Lilith were the last to arrive, Lilith’s eyes falling on Mary, who was running her fingertips along the tools hanging on the wall lined with a plethora of machinery instructions.

“You said you have a formula sheet for... ?” Beatrice inquired, her curious eyes doing the same as her sisters’ and exploring the space.

Jillian nodded, “Yes, one moment,” she replied, beginning to move in the direction of a small corner desk, “I actually have a small example of what you’ll get once you actually form the metalloid.”

Mary’s attention shifted to the multifaceted scientist, “Metalloid? I thought it was just… metal?” she asked, shifting closer to Lilith subconsciously.

Jillian smiled, pulling out a wooden box no bigger than four square inches per side, “You’ll find that that fact will serve you better than divinium in the long run,” she replied, the entire group of women now focused on what is being retrieved from the box, Jillian holding up the object to the fluorescent lighting of the lab.

It was a brilliantly shiny, virtually flawless, perfectly square cube of metal, the light reflecting off of the surface causing incredible beams to shine around the room.

“This,” Jillian stated, marveling at the small sample, “Is adamantine.”

Camila walked forward, her eyes wide as she raised her eyebrows at Jillian, who placed the cube into her palm, “Wow,” she whispered, eyebrows creasing slightly, “Did you polish this? It’s so smooth.”

Jillian smiled again, shaking her head, “That’s how it forms when finished. It’s physically flawless.”

Camila glanced at Jillian then nodded, remembering as she refocused on the cube, "Right," she breathed.

Beatrice walked forward to get a closer look, “How is that possible? Almost all metals have flaws, especially after melting from raw materials- even divinium.”

Jillian nodded, an amused look on her face, “I know, though I think Camila will burst if I don’t allow her to answer that question.” she replied, looking at the youngest who was nearly vibrating with excitement.

“Yes, so," the youngest started, holding up the cube between them, "This is made out of some of the strongest materials on earth, right? That includes  _ diamonds _ , that’s why it’s a metalloid; it’s not fully metal, it has a crystalline structure woven into it, so it has no pores or impurities- it's literally perfect,” she answered, locking eyes with Beatrice as she smiled. 

“It’s the strongest, sharpest material ever known. That’s why the gods used it for their armor and weapons,” she continued, her gaze fixing back onto the cube as she ran the pad of her thumb against the edge, “It hardens on impact, and any blade’s edge never dulls.”

Lilith was the first to respond to Camila’s information dump, slightly confused, “How could it know when to harden when being hit, or slashed? The only other metal known to have some kind of ‘sentience’ is divinium, and that’s due to its connection to the halo.” she asked, crossing her arms as she waited for the answer.

Camila licked her lips and took a breath, turning to Lilith, “That’s the tricky part,” she said somewhat quietly compared to her rant, her eyes shifting to the floor, “To form this, to use it: you need a soul fragment.”

The group went silent, Camila and Jillian looking at each other knowingly as they let their peers absorb the information.

  
  


Beatrice was the first to speak, shaking her head slightly, “How does one even  _ begin _ to obtain part of a soul, let alone conceptualize it?” she asked quietly, the gears in her head grinding.

Camila smirked slightly and nodded at Jillian, the eldest of the group replying in kind.

“The Ark is not just a portal to another world, we can communicate with those who have already passed, with their souls,” she responded, looks varying between confusion and wonder etching into the faces of the women before her, “And those souls can willingly give up parts of themselves for this endeavor.”

Mary stepped forward, her posture mimicking Lilith’s with her arms crossed in front of her, “Okay, let me recap,” she started, looking around the room before her eyes settled on Jillian.

“In order to form this… stuff, we not only need other strong metals, but we need  _ diamonds _ and a fucking  _ soul _ ?”

Jillian chuckled, taking a few steps forward so that she was located in the center of the rough circle they had formed.

“Technically correct, though the raw materials are  _ part _ of the strongest metals we know of, as well as the raw, pre-pressurized reactant of diamonds,” she replied, her hands clasping behind her, “More specifically: ilmenite, wolframite, and pure carbon.”

Mary nodded, “You left out the weirdest one, though,” she replied, locking eyes with Jillian, “The soul fragment.”

Jillian nodded slowly, her jaw shifting, “Like Camila said, that is rather tricky considering our current predicament.” she said softly, turning around to pace slowly, “Ava is powerful enough to activate the Ark and open the portal, so the problem lies with the fact that she is… well, unconscious.”

She turned back around and paused, thinking, “I can still put in orders from my private suppliers for the materials that we  _ do _ have access to, but in terms of mobilizing the formation of this metal for you,” she said, her eyes not focused anywhere in particular, “I’m afraid the most we can do is plan for when Ava wakes up.” 

“Once she’s back with us, and she will be,” Jillian stated firmly, her gaze connecting with Beatrice’s in reassurance, “We can work through her rehabilitation, and you’ll be able to create new weapons and armor when she's back at full power.”

Beatrice’s eyes fell to the floor before she turned to her sisters, each of them meeting her eyes as she looked to each of them, then back to Jillian.

“Let’s start planning, then.”

Jillian smiled fully, nodding, “Alright, where do we start?”   
  


Camila raised her hand, a smile bursting onto her face, “I can start calculating how much of what will be needed, and you can tell me about how you measure souls…?”

Jillian nodded and tilted her head in the direction of the heavy machinery and modernized forge, “What do you need to know?”

Camila beamed, fixing her notebook to start jotting down information, “Let’s start with max fill, ratios of materials, temperatures, how long it takes…”

Beatrice smiled at the sight and sound of Camila in her element, the youngest of them finding some form of excitement and reprieve from the bleak week prior.

She turned to Lilith and Mary, both of them sidled up to the other in front of the workbench, likely talking about anything other than the tools in front of them.

She slowly approached the pair, a sheepish smile on her face as Lilith turned to her, “Hey,” she offered, her eyes glancing to Mary, “Can I steal this one for a few minutes?”

Lilith blushed nearly imperceptibly at the implication in Beatrice's words, offering a small smile and a nod. She looked to Mary before squeezing her hand, leaving Beatrice and her to talk as she trailed behind Camila and Jillian.

Beatrice stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jeans, biting her lip as Mary’s eyebrows raised in question, “You good?”

The younger woman nodded quickly, glancing towards the doors before fixing Mary with a look, “Can we go walk, actually?”

Mary glanced to the doors and then back to Beatrice, nodding slowly as she nudged the young woman’s shoulder, urging her to walk beside her.

As they made their way outside, Beatrice continued down the path that snaked through the vineyard, an agricultural experimentation lot Jillian used to test different gene edits in varying kinds of grapes.

Mary tucked her hands into her coat pockets, “What’s up?”

Beatrice kicked a rock ahead of them, still chewing her bottom lip, “You know how you told me to ‘say it’, back on the balcony of the hostel?” she said quietly.

Mary stared at her for a moment before fixing her eyes forward, a slight smile coming to her lips at the memory, and what it means now, “Yeah.”

Beatrice fell silent again, trying to make sense of everything thus far in an attempt to paint a rough picture for Mary to understand, “And you know of the vows I observe, how they go beyond formality; they’re personal,” she stated.

It wasn’t a question. 

Mary nodded, “Yeah, of course.”

Beatrice’s eyes flickered, a long stretch of silence settling into the conversation before she stopped walking, her hands coming up to smooth her wind-messed hair as her next words spilled forth.

“I joined the OCS because I wanted a purpose. I wanted to feel like I was doing something bigger than me, and I am. I know I am,” she started, licking her lips as she continued; Mary noticed the slight tremble in her hands, “I felt that if I kept myself grounded, ignoring the parts of me screaming to be let out into the light, I’d be fine; I’d be happy enough to get through each day, my family by my side, my sisters always with me,” she said, her voice beginning to shake slightly; Mary watched and listened with intent, understanding with full clarity what Beatrice meant.

“I kept that thought with me every day, week, month that passed, knowing that with my faith in God and the strength He gives me, I can control myself and be  _ good _ , be better than my desires,” she continued, her voice cracking bitterly on ‘good’, tears threatening to spill over, “But I know now, that’s not living, that’s not me at my best,” she added, Mary watching as her breaths became more and more irregular as she came to grips with the words she was saying.

“I don’t want to just  _ exist  _ anymore, I don’t want to waste away hoping that I’m good enough; I want to go out and foster love and care and affection and all of the messy bits that come along with that,” she cried, a teary smile coming to her face as she looked at Mary, recognizing her confession as what Mary heard it to be: a cry for freedom.

The freedom to be herself, fully.

“I want to  _ live _ , Mary. I want to feel, I want to love with everything I am,” she sobbed, taking a few steps forward, a laugh following her teary words.

“I want to feel alive again,  _ with _ somebody, with…” she let out a combination of a sob and a laugh, sucking in a breath as she took an extra step forward into Mary’s open arms, the older woman holding the former nun close.

“I got you, I know,” she said softly, cradling the back of Beatrice’s head as the young woman squeezed her mentor, “You don’t have to say her name yet; I know,” she whispered, Beatrice’s body shaking with cries.

“I need her with me,” Beatrice confessed, her tears staining the thick fabric of Mary’s overcoat, “I need-.” she cut herself off with a sob, a sad smile coming to Mary’s lips.

She nodded softly, giving Beatrice an affectionate squeeze, “I know, I know,” she said gently, showing her support and understanding.

Beatrice grew up with a silver spoon in her mouth for a pacifier, yet that didn’t make her upbringing any easier- nor did it injure her selfless and loving nature.

Mary knew her case the moment she heard her speak, knew the signs of repression in a young lesbian like the back of her hand: it used to be her. So, she made an effort to get to know Beatrice, to show her that authenticity is good, pure, even if it came with a few expletives.

She was so young then- young still, and Mary knows how hard it is to break the cycle of hatred within oneself, especially being gay. So, to hear Beatrice confront this, to express the desire to take back her life, it felt fulfilling; it felt like Mary had contributed to something right.

And god _ damn _ if she wasn’t proud of this kid for it.

So she hugged Beatrice for as long as she needed, offering words she knew would bring comfort and hope to the young woman who, for so long, had none.

  
  


“You’re gonna get her back, kiddo. You're gonna be okay.”

  
  


~

  
  


The sound of clattering and a gasp snapped Vincent out of his daze, his head swinging around the corner of the stacked crates.

Adriel’s chair had fallen backwards, the angel lying on his back, his hands covering his face.

“Master?”

Adriel shook his head.

“They know,” he said lowly, manipulating gravity around him so that he floated onto his feet, “They know about the divinium.”

Vincent’s eyes flickered, dread building within him at the inevitability of Adriel’s growing frustration.

“That woman,” he muttered, his sharp gaze shifting to Vincent, “Why didn’t you tell me of who she really was,  _ father _ ?”

The priest swallowed, shaking his head, “I did not know, I swear,” he replied, watching as Adriel marched up to him and crowded his space, Vincent shrinking against the stacked crates.

“For a man of God, you do a lot of swearing,” he hissed, turning back around to pace; Vincent clenched his jaw and remained still, like prey willing itself to be unseen by its predator.

Adriel screwed his eyes shut and tried to think.

Lilith.

_ Lilith _ . 

How did he not see it until now? She came back- nobody comes back without some form of power.

A metric  _ fuckton _ of power.

Of course, this threw a wrench into his plans; he hadn’t factored in the possibility of the  _ mother of demonkind _ being among those who stood in his way.

Adriel attempted to steady his labored breaths, inhaling through his nose and out through his mouth.

Alright, so they know. What else does he have at his disposal?

  
  


Adriel grinned.

  
  


He walked over to the makeshift planning table littered with notes and maps, resting his hands on their fingertips as he focused his mind on one individual who served as a second set of eyes.

Vincent watched Adriel as his muscles twitched slightly, the angel channelling his eyes to bore into the vision of Apollyon as a means to spy on the group of women.

Minutes of nothing passed, the only change being Adriel’s nails digging into the wood grain of the table as his efforts produced nothing.

Then, suddenly, Adriel fell to his knees, crying out as his hands flew to his head in pain.

  
  


_ ‘ _ **_Keep your nose where it belongs, angel, unless you wish for the unthinkable to occur._ ** _ ’ _

  
  


Adriel gasped as his lip snarled, one of his hands slamming down onto the table surface, “You are  _ my _ subject, demon! I will do with you as I please!” he yelled back, unaware that the bellowing multi-octave voice only resided in his mind.

There was a beat of silence as the pain behind Adriel’s eyes disappeared, before a sharp rush flooded into his head, causing him to scream in pain as Apollyon’s many voices swarmed in his brain.

  
  
  


_ ‘ _ **_Your ignorance will be your downfall._ ** _ ’ _

  
  
  


The pain disappeared entirely, then, leaving the fallen angel on his knees in a crumpled heap, holding his head in his hands. Vincent watched as he stood stock-still, breaking his statuesque posture as he took a single step forward.

“M-master?”

Adriel let out a particularly deep breath at the sound of Vincent’s trembling voice, “I’m fine,” he rasped, deciding against standing as he lied back onto the cool basement floor, the heels of his palms rubbing his eyes.

“It has occurred to me, father,” he started, focusing on taking steady breaths as he soothed the previous point of pain, “That your suspicions may have been correct.”

Vincent’s mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, trying to connect the angel’s words to memory, “My suspicions, sir?”

Adriel sighed, “Your ‘bad feeling’ about this demon,” he replied, slowly sitting up as his fingers massaged his temples.

Vincent’s eyes shifted to the ground as he swallowed, remembering.

“What can we do?” he asked quietly, allowing Adriel a moment to think through his headache.

The angel shook his head, exhaling as his arms came to rest on his bent knees, his gaze far away. 

“We continue as planned, for now,” he started, beginning to stand as Vincent offered him a hand, pulling him up, “We let him do the grunt work while we sit back and wait for his return…”

Adriel’s eyes darkened as they connected with Vincent’s, their hands still clasped.

“After he delivers us his intel, I will punish him for his insolence,” he continued, letting Vincent go as he turned, placing his hands atop the makeshift table like he did before.

“Then, and only then, we will continue my master plan,” he added, leaning forward onto the planning table with his elbows, his jaw shifting.

  
  


"I will destroy him for challenging me."

The words hit Vincent sharply, causing him to stiffen slightly as he fixed his posture, repositioning his weapon in a passive display, "I will do whatever is necessary to assure your plan goes accordingly, master."

Adriel's head rose at the priest's words, his head turning slightly in acknowledgement as a sickly smile formed on his lips.

"Yes. Yes, you will."

  
  


Hundreds of kilometers away, Apollyon’s pupils dilated as he viewed four emerging heat signatures, each belonging to one of the women he was tasked with spying on.

He could feel the unused coolness and weight of the metallurgy and blacksmithing lab, even from his distance, the forge having not been used in months by the stillness of the energy surrounding the area.

He didn’t dare expose his position by forcing his way into one of their heads- not yet. He needed just a little more time to read their movements and energies.

A scientist, two combative nuns, a bounty hunter, and an unconscious halo bearer: not exactly his idea of a challenge.

So he waited, watching, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  
  


~

  
  


_ ‘Hi… hey. Hello; hi.’ _

Ava walked down the warrior nun-lined hallway, the souls of the long fallen women she greeted shifting into the walls to watch her make her way to the chapel, Shannon walking alongside her with an arm draped around her shoulders to offer a sense of comfort.

The warrior nun clothed in the blue and silver dress led them there, Ripple moving alongside her as he vibrated with excitement at the sudden appearance of their new guests.

Ava’s eyes flicked between the faces she could see nervously, suddenly feeling small and inexperienced in the presence of the much older and battle-hardened women surrounding her.

Shannon glanced down at her successor, giving her ghostly shoulder a squeeze,  _ ‘You’re doing great,’ _ she thought softly, managing to coax a smile out of Ava as the younger woman nudged her side affectionately, Shannon holding back a smile of her own.

_ ‘Shut up,’ _ Ava thought back, quickly reclaiming the lost space between her and Shannon as the hall opened up into the chapel space, the souls making their way in to watch and listen as the newest among them became acquainted with those who came before her.

The former bearer in blue took a seat in one of the clergy chairs usually reserved for the priest behind the altar, Ripple hopping up onto the one beside her usually reserved for a deacon.

She fixed her gaze on Ava, still under Shannon’s arm, and smiled gently,  _ ‘Please, sit.’ _

Ava froze momentarily before her eyes slid over to the altar, of which she hopped up onto, hunching forward slightly as her feet dangled over the edge. 

Shannon exhaled a quiet laugh as she shook her head, mimicking Ava in a show of camaraderie as she nudged the younger woman with her knee, earning a humorous glance from the younger of them.

_ ‘I am Sister Ann,’ _ the former warrior stated, her mentally transmitted voice having taken on a dual octave tone in the afterlife,  _ ‘I’m glad to finally meet you.’ _

_ ‘Hi, officially,’ _ she replied, her eyes darted between the two,  _ ‘Shannon said that you all,’ _ she gestured to the crowd surrounding them, _ ‘Are my guardians…?’ _

Ann nodded, the warmth behind her eyes comforting Ava’s nerves slightly,  _ ‘Yes, we are here to help guide you into your true sight stage.’ _

Ava’s eyebrows furrowed slightly, the slight smile from before remaining intact,  _ ‘Yeah, that,’ _ she replied, trying to imagine how this whole process works, still,  _ ‘Could you, maybe, explain how this is supposed to go? I’m kind of lost on the  _ details _.’  _ she added, lightly nudging Shannon in the side to punctuate ‘details’.

The ghostly woman smiled at the interaction,  _ ‘As Sister Shannon said before, only so much can be revealed to you at once,’ _ she started, folding her hands on her lap,  _ ‘It is important for you to go through this process with no impositions or expectations, so that all that occurs comes naturally.’ _

Ava sighed, nowhere closer in her pursuit of knowledge,  _ ‘Okay, fine. Can you at least tell me why-’ _

_ ‘Nope.’ _

The voice came from aside despite echoing through Ava’s head, the woman tall and lean, donning baggy jeans and a tank top, casually making her way forward as her mouth shifted in thought,  _ ‘Well, yeah; no, we can’t.’ _

Ava’s eyebrows furrowed as she huffed,  _ ‘Why is everyone so vague, here? I just want to know why… guidance is necessary in the first place, if I have all of the power within me to get to where I need to be.’ _

The tall woman smirked, the plaid button-up tied around her waist swishing as she took a couple more steps forward,  _ ‘We all need pointers sometimes, no shame in that,’ _ she said, holding out a translucent hand,  _ ‘Megan Maxwell.’ _

Ava looked at her hand and then back up to her face, reaching to shake it slowly,  _ ‘Hi.’ _ she thought cautiously, not entirely sure what to make of this developing cast of characters 

Ann’s eyes sparkled, observing the uneasiness of their youngest bearer yet,  _ ‘You can trust us, Ava. We want nothing more than to see you thrive,’  _ she thought softly, Ava meeting her truthful gaze,  _ ‘In fact, you may even find some of us familiar, as you’ve previously read some of our stories in the journal.’ _

_ ‘And,’ _ Megan said, looking at Ann from the side with a look of endearment,  _ ‘You’ll also see that some of us totally get you,’ _ she added, leaning forward slightly, giving a wink,  _ ‘In more ways than one.’ _

A smile crept onto Ava’s lips, curiosity suddenly prickling at the edges of her mind as her eyes shifted from Megan to Ann,  _ ‘Okay, you got me.’ _ she thought, throwing up her hands in a small shrug,  _ ‘Do your guardian thing.’ _

Ann smiled slightly as she stood, gracefully walking over to stand before Ava,  _ ‘Here,’ _ she said, holding out her hands, palms up,  _ ‘Allow me to show you my past as it is written.’ _

Ava stared back into her eyes, nodding slowly as Shannon placed a gentle hand on her shoulder,  _ ‘I’ll be here the whole time,’ _ she thought, Ava turning to look at her predecessor, smiling slightly.

_ ‘Me too,’ _ Megan added, throwing a gentle smirk in Ava’s direction.

_ ‘I know,’ _ she replied, her gaze returning to Ann’s,  _ ‘I trust you.’ _ she added, placing her translucent hands into the former warrior’s.

Ann smiled gently before closing her eyes, Shannon watching as Ava’s became opaque as Ann’s life took over her mind.

  
  
  


_ Ava found herself standing in an ornate looking room, decorated with 18th century French designs, gold painted carvings standing out against the cream colored wooden paneling.  _

_ Her eyes shifted to the doorway as she heard incoming footsteps, Ann and another woman making their way into the moonlit room. _

_ Ann was wearing a light blue and white dress, accented with frills along the edges and cuffs of her sleeves; the other woman was in part of a habit, her headpiece missing from the rest of the getup as she marched forward. _

_ “Well, what  _ can _ you tell me?” she asked, exasperatedly, Ava’s surprise at her own sudden ability to understand the French being spoken. _

_ “This is espionage, Bridgett. Secrets are secrets.” Ann responded, a pleading look on her face. _

_ Bridgett exhaled, stepping forward into Ann’s space, “You can trust me, you know this. Why is this any different?” _

_ Ann shook her head, her eyes sad, “Because this is  _ you _.” _

_ Bridgett retracted slightly at her meaning, blinking as she reached her hand out to grasp Ann’s, the formally dressed woman pulling away, “Sister-” _

_ “Don’t call me that.” _

_ “It’s what you are.” _

_ “It’s my defense against the world,” Bridgett retorted, her brow worried as she reached forward again, Ann reciprocating the touch this time, “You know where my heart truly lies.” _

_ Ann’s gaze shifted between Bridgett’s eyes, shifting forward so that her forehead leaned against the other woman’s, sighing. _

_ “The king’s army is being dispatched to Paris, to arrive tomorrow morning,” she whispered, Bridgett’s body stiffening at the suggestion, “He’s caught wind of the growing discontent; he wants to quell any uprisings.” _

_ Bridgett pulled away to look Ann in the eyes, her grip on her hands tightening, “Do you think-” _

_ “No doubt.” Ann cut her off, not wishing to even think of the terrors that could occur under Hell’s influence.  _

_ She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Bridgett’s shoulders, holding her close as the other woman reciprocated the touch, her arms encircling Ann’s waist. _

_ “Please,” Ann whispered, the lump in her throat growing at a terrible thought, “ _ Please _ be careful.” _

_ “You too, my love.” Bridgett replied, pulling back as Ann placed a hand on her cheek, her eyes taking in every detail of her lover’s face. _

_ She leaned forward slowly, Bridgett being the one to close the distance between them fully as their lips met, a pleading reminder of how much they mean to one another, her hands warming as the glow from the halo in Ann’s back shone at their touch. _

_ Bridgett pulled away, her eyes closed, “I will go alert the others so we can be prepared,” she stated, pulling out a glowing blue blade and placing it into Ann’s palm, “Just in case.” _

_ Ann’s mouth shifted slightly as she nodded, her eyes shining as she leaned forward, kissing Bridgett one last time before they parted until morning. _

_ “I’ll see you at dawn.” she stated finally, Bridgett taking a few steps backward, her hand still connected to Ann’s, “In this life or the next.” _

_ Ann squeezed the handle of the divinium blade, her eyes never leaving Bridgett’s figure as she exited the room, a final whisper falling from her lips. _

  
  


_ “In this life or the next.” _

  
  


_ The vision before Ava blurred and swirled, a new, much more grim scene coming to form in front of her. _

  
  


_ A blockade was set up in a square, a narrow alley located behind the makeshift wall being the only outlet for revolutionaries to enter and exit. _

_ Ava’s eyes were immediately drawn to the red cloud circling above the square, the wraith demons descending down into the French soldiers positioning to attack, their eyes black. _

_ Ann crouched behind the blockade, two sister warriors guarding her in front, one guarding her from the back as she announced the locations of the wraiths and those possessed. _

_ Bridgett stood on the opposing side of the blockade, her eyes never leaving Ann’s face. She ran over to one of the frontmost sister warriors by the halo-bearer, whispering a demand to take her place on the other side of the blockade, the woman nodding as she took the opposing spot. _

_ Bridgett took her stance in front of the bearer, a hand reaching back behind her; Ann stepped forward to thread their fingers together, squeezing. _

_ She opened her mouth to speak when she heard an inhuman shriek, her attention being drawn to the soldiers closing in on them. _

_ “Forward, now!” _

_ Each sister warrior ran out from behind the blockade and took position, firing their flintlock pistols at the incoming soldiers. _

_ The possessed men were thrown back slightly at the impact of the divinium bullets, but were otherwise unfazed as they staggered forward with jerky movements. _

_ The women unsheathed their divinium rapiers and daggers, all letting out a unified battle cry as they rushed forward, commencing the brutal fight. _

_ Ann stood at the entrance of the blockade, glowing Cruciform sword in hand as she watched and alerted her sisters of incoming or escaping wraiths, she herself slashing and stabbing at the demons as they came near.  _

_ Suddenly, a blast emanated from the center of the square, the energy from the rift knocking the sister warriors back against the blockade, the French soldiers back against the cobblestone streets. _

_ A tarask, nearly fifteen feet in height, emerged from the rift, letting out a grating roar. _

_ Ava watched as the wraiths left their hosts, the newly unpossessed soldiers skittering away from the beast their gazes locked on and abandoning their post. _

_ The sister warriors slowly stood, their swords tightly gripped as they all glanced in Ann’s direction before converging on the tarask, fulfilling their sacred duty to protect the halo-bearer. _

_ The Hellish beast roared as it swung its heavy arms, its claws swiping at the warriors in order to fend them off. _

  
  


_ One gasp. _

  
  


_ The clattering of metal. _

  
  


_ Suddenly, Ann was frozen in place. _

  
  


_ The tarask impaled Bridgett, the sister screaming silently as the beast flung her aside, her body crumpling against the stone street as blood began to pool beneath her. _

_ Ann’s eyes flickered as she willed herself to look away from her fatally wounded lover, her gaze turning hard as it fixed on the burly demon. _

_ She stood, grasping the Cruciform sword tightly, her jaw setting. _

  
  


_ She roared, the already burning halo becoming brighter as she conjured energy she didn’t know she possessed. _

_ Channelling emotion she had stowed away for her own sake. _

_ The halo let out an incredible blast, a dome of white light exploding past the square. _

_ Ava watched as the still wraiths disintegrated, the tarask melting away from the divine force it pushed against. _

_ The intense light faded all at once, the square returning to its dim and dreary hue of the early morning, as Ann collapsed against the ground. _

_ Bridgett’s eyes snapped open at the sound, her hand immediately clutching her formerly wounded abdomen, now completely untouched. _

_ She pulled herself to her feet and stumbled over to the halo-bearer, roughly kneeling beside her as she took in her body’s state. _

_ There were rivulets of blood slowly streaming out of Ann’s ears and nose, her eyes red and bloodshot with the pressure of the blast, the capillaries in her face having popped from the divine force of power. Her hazel eyes, tired and weak, shifted to the sister warrior hovering above her, her lips giving a faint smile. _

_ Bridgett willed her betraying eyes to fight the forming tears as Ann coughed, blood staining her lips as the sister warrior shifted the halo-bearer into her arms. _

_ “It’s time,” she rasped, another cough wracking her weakened body. _

_ Bridgett shook her head vehemently, “No,” she spat, holding Ann closer to her, “Amelie is finding a medic and you’re-” _

_ “Bridgett,” Ann whispered, a tear of her own escaping out of the corner of her eye, “My love,” she added as the sister warrior let out a sob, pulling the halo-bearer’s hand up to kiss her palm. _

_ “Don’t talk like that,” she begged, Ann’s hand gently caressing her lover’s face as Bridgett held her arm up in place, “Please, it’s too soon.” _

_ Ann smiled sadly, her thumb stroking the warrior’s cheek, “Don’t cry,” she breathed, her chest aching from heartbreak more so than the stress she’s undergone, “You never cry.” _

_ Bridgett let out a bitter laugh as she rocked them both, leaning forward to press their foreheads together as she sucked in a breath. _

_ “But this is  _ you _.” _

_ The sister warrior uttered the words before shifting forward, pressing a kiss to the bearer’s lips, pleading to God to spare her love as she spared her in the blast. _

_ Bridgett pulled back as Ann pressed her fingers against her lover’s jaw, willing her eyes to meet hers. _

_ “I love you.” she breathed, gently pulling Bridgett down to press a weak kiss to her forehead, “I must go.” _

_ Bridgett sobbed fully, pulling the halo-bearer closer as she pressed her cheek to Ann’s chest, the body in her grasp going slack. _

  
  
  


Ava’s eyes cleared as the memory faded, her vision refocusing on the former bearer in front of her, spectral tears streaming down her cheeks at the recollection. Ava squeezed her hands and pulled her forward, her arms wrapping around the older woman’s shoulders, hugging her.

_ ‘Thank you for showing me,’  _ she thought, her predecessor nodding and pulling back, offering a sad smile,  _ ‘But what does it mean?’ _

Ann’s eyes flickered down to their still joined hands, squeezing gently as she met Ava’s curious gaze again.

_ ‘Think.’ _

Ava bit her bottom lip as she glanced at Shannon, the other former warrior nun nodding in reinforcement at the instructions; Ava exhaled.

_ ‘You were in love with someone, you fought and died with your team, what else?’ _

Ann gave her a look as a smile came to form on her lips, one of her hands coming to rest on the young woman’s cheek,  _ ‘Think, Ava.’ _

Ava’s jaw shifted as she closed her eyes, trying to organize her thoughts. Did she read about this in the journal? The halo reacts to emotions, so were there any records of something like Ann’s case happening before? Did Beatrice ever find something like...

  
  


Beatrice.

  
  


That night at the Vatican.

  
  


The blast of light.

Ava’s fear of losing someone she’s realized means too much to her, someone she’d lay her life down for, someone she’s realized-

She opened her eyes, her enlightened gaze falling onto Ann. The older woman smiled fully, genuinely, hearing Ava’s thoughts ricochet around in her head.

_ ‘There she is.’ _ Shannon thought, a hand coming to rub up and down Ava’s back as the younger woman sat beside her, her jaw slack in the wake of her realization.

_ ‘Holy shit. I’m... ’ _ she thought, letting out a soundless laugh as she formed the words in her mind.

  
  


_ ‘I’m in love with Beatrice.’ _

  
  


Megan joined in on the round of smiles, leaning against the altar as she patted Ava’s knee,  _ ‘Sure are, kid.’ _

Ava laughed fully this time, a reaction to her epiphany and her joy as she lied back onto the altar, one hand on her abdomen and one covering her mouth, her head suddenly swimming with too many thoughts to be sitting upright.

She closed her eyes, taking in deep breaths as she connected all of her memories together.

Their shared moment in the hall during her first days of training.

Ava’s panic when Crimson held up the gun; the halo blasting to deflect the shot away from Beatrice.

Beatrice tending to her injuries after their escape from Cat’s Cradle.

The moments they shared during her phasing training; every time she would fall, Beatrice would catch her.

Every time they looked at each other, Ava saw something there. Ava felt something new.

  
  


She smiled before she opened her eyes, noticing that, suddenly, the environment around her had changed entirely.

Silver and white walls, the pristine nature all too familiar.

Ava sat up and looked around.

  
  


ARQTech was slightly off-hue but otherwise unchanged, likely a result of her still being in her soul form.

As the room took form, items and devices materialized, the athletic and training equipment all slightly blue in color. 

The final aspect of the space in front of her, though, looked the same as Ava had always seen, even with her human eyes.

Beatrice stood before her, donning sweatpants, a sports bra, and boxing handwraps as she practiced her striking skills, small beads of sweat coming to form on her shoulders and back.

Ava’s eyes darted around the room as she stood, her eyes falling onto a digital clock.

_ ‘11:34 PM.’ _ she thought, suddenly wondering why the sister warrior would choose to do any form of training at this hour.

_ ‘Beatrice?’ _ she thought, her lips moving with the name though no sound being produced. 

Ava felt a pang in her chest at the awareness of the other woman- being able to see and hear here, but being unseen and unheard herself. 

She slowly circled the area that Beatrice occupied, taking in the warrior at all angles despite the slight swinging of the heavy bag from each punch delivered.

Ava’s eyes flickered as she stopped moving, her chest tightening as she fully viewed Beatrice’s face.

The taller woman’s cheeks were tearstained, her jaw clenched as she willed herself to stay silent despite the emotional buildup she felt for the halo-bearer lying motionless in another room.

Each hit she delivered was harder than the last, the blows causing her to release the shaky breaths she was holding.

Ava listened as she landed a low jab, the force of the punch knocking out her last bit of breath; Beatrice sucked in air, only for a quiet sob to escape her as she dropped to her knees, her head coming to rest in her wrapped hands.

“God, please,” she whimpered, another rough inhale following the plea.

Ava approached her slowly, the halo-bearer’s spirit coming to kneel in front of the crying sister-warrior as her own brow creased with concern, her eyes wide.

“Bring her back to me,” Beatrice whispered, her body shaking with another sob as she looked upwards towards the heavens, attempting to talk to God directly.

“I need Ava with me, Lord,” she declared, her hands coming to roughly fold in front of her lips as she uttered her final words, squeezing her eyes shut. 

  
  


“I  _ love  _ her.”

  
  


Ava let out a silent, shuddered breath as her eyes fluttered at the words, her hands reaching forwards towards Beatrice’s face despite knowing the other woman wouldn’t feel her touch.

_ ‘I’m here,’ _ she thought, leaning her forehead against Beatrice’s,  _ ‘I see you, I hear you.’ _ she added, her chin beginning to quiver as the sister warrior’s words repeated in her mind on a loop as the woman before her cried.

_ ‘I  _ will _ return to you; I swear,’ _ she thought, moving back slightly to press a sensation-less kiss to the taller woman’s forehead as she continued her silent prayer.

  
  


_ ‘I love you, Beatrice,’ _ she thought, shifting back down to rest her forehead against hers, her translucent thumbs brushing back and forth against the sister warrior’s glistening skin.

  
  


_ ‘I’m going to be with you, in  _ this  _ life.’ _

  
  


The scene before Ava’s eyes began to fade then, the image of Beatrice and her surroundings becoming blurry.

_ ‘No, no!’ _ Ava thought, reaching out to try and grasp at that which she could not touch, to stay with that whom she could not reach.

  
  


She opened her eyes and sat up abruptly, her spirit eyes refocusing on the three previous warrior nuns she left behind.

_ ‘Oh good, she’s back.’ _ Megan thought, relief becoming apparent in the spectral expressions on the other women’s faces.

_ ‘Where did you go? None of us could hear you.’ _ Shannon asked, her eyebrows furrowed with concern as she returned her hand to Ava’s back.

Ava stared down at her hands, her lips parted as she replayed the scene in her head, each woman in her close proximity sobering as they saw the events play out in the youngest’s mind.

She looked up at Megan with shiny, starry eyes, her gaze being met with the same intensity she gave.

Her eyes shifted to Ann, the older, refined warrior looking upon her knowingly, a sad smile on her lips.

She blinked as a ghostly tear ran down her cheek, turning to Shannon, who met her stare with a single thought as she opened her arms.

_ ‘Come here.’ _

The current halo bearer folded into her predecessor as the silent tears fell, Shannon’s arms wrapping around her small frame comfortingly.

Ava kept her eyes shut tightly even as she felt two more pairs of arms encircle her and Shannon, the show of genuine support and understanding causing her chest to tighten further.

_ ‘You’ll get back home, kid,’ _ Megan thought, pulling back slightly to rest a hand atop Ava’s head, a determined look on her face.

_ ‘We’re gonna help you get there, I promise.’ _

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ava and beatrice babies its going to be okay i bromise :((( lemme kno what ur thinkin down below!!! much love


	10. somebody hold me too close, somebody hurt me too deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- song insps: Wonderwall by Oasis, Feel Something by Heart, Hardest Button to Button by The White Stripes  
> \- sorry if this one feels a little jerky in its flow, its a product of many different life factors and events, but enjoyable nonetheless! things are settling into place... read till the end ;)  
> \- tumblr for questions/concerns and writing stuffs: piedpiperwriter  
> \- remember to drop a kudos and a comment at the end, i love hearing ur thoughts and theories :)  
> \- as always, enjoy!

  
  


Ava sniffled as the women surrounding her pulled away, Shannon’s hold loosening as she sat back to meet the current bearer’s eyes.

_ ‘You alright?’ _ she asked gently, brushing back a loose strand of Ava’s hair, the younger woman nodding.

_ ‘Yeah, it’s just a lot,’ _ she replied, taking in a deep, airless breath as she stared down at her fidgeting fingers.

Megan observed Ava's movements, an idea coming to the front of her mind.

_ ‘Hey,’ _ she said, reaching a hand forward to tap Ava’s knee,  _ ‘Let’s go for a walk, clear your head a bit.’  _ she added, shoving her hands into her pockets before quirking an eyebrow.

Ava looked up and took in her relaxed posture, swiping at the remnants of her ghostly tears one more time before nodding in agreement.

She turned to Shannon, giving a small smile and a nudge in temporary goodbye as she hopped down from the altar, the older woman returning her smile twofold.

Megan smirked lightly as Ava came near, one arm wrapping around the smaller woman’s shoulders as they approached the outside door, the sea of women around them parting to let them through.

_ ‘So,’ _ Megan started, giving Ava a brief downward glance,  _ ‘That was a fuckload of you-time jam packed into, like, what, half an hour?’ _

Ava made a face as a confused smile came to form on her lips, letting out a laugh,  _ ‘Yeah, that’s one way to put it,’ _ she replied, her eyes refocusing on the path in front of them,  _ ‘You don’t do a lot of pep talks, do you?’ _

Megan smiled at that, shrugging,  _ ‘Been a while for me, I’m a little rusty if that wasn’t already obvious,’ _ she answered, lazily kicking her foot forward, scuffing the footpath as she thought,  _ ‘Anyway, let’s talk about me.’ _

Ava laughed fully at that, the choppy transition both jarring and amusing,  _ ‘Let’s find someplace to sit down if we’re gonna do the whole,’ _ she gestured wildly with her hands,  _ ‘Memory-mind-thing.’ _

Megan exhaled a chuckle, shaking her head,  _ ‘Nah, I prefer the spoken word; not nearly as immersive but I think it’ll get the job done, y’know?’ _

Ava let out a dramatic exhale,  _ ‘Okay, I feel better about that,’ _ she replied, her posture relaxing as her own hands found her pockets,  _ ‘Start whenever.’ _ she added, giving a sidewards glance at the former halo bearer.

Megan smiled, their steps eventually falling into sync as she organized her thoughts.

_ ‘Dunno if it was obvious from the get-go, but I’m not a nun,’ _ she started, smiling at Ava’s faux gasp,  _ ‘I found out about all of this by accident, in a way, kinda like you- minus the being dead part,’ _ she paused, her brow creasing just slightly,  _ ‘Well, sort of.’ _

Ava’s ears perked up at the odd allusion, giving Megan a glance before fixing her eyes on the footpath, her hearing zeroed in on the former bearer’s words.

_ ‘I was out at a club- college student traveling abroad, the whole thing- messing around with my friends, and I saw, like, this weird crowd of women all dressed in these gown-things and they were rushing towards this other group of people,’  _ Megan paused again, chewing her bottom lip,  _ ‘Me being nosy, I went to go check it out, and I saw these dudes and other women, like, throwing punches at these… nuns- obviously they were nuns at this point- and I was like ‘holy shit’ because why would you punch a fucking nun?’ _

Ava gave a chuckle, nodding as she waited for Megan to continue.

_ ‘Again, me being nosy and partly stupid, I jumped in on the action after watching one of them get jabbed and go down. I mostly went after the guys because, well, I’m tall enough, I have a reach, I might as well use it. So, I start pushing these dudes back, and I’m kicking ass but they’re also kicking  _ my _ ass because I didn’t know they were fucking possessed,’ _ Megan laughed a little at the memory, nodding slightly,  _ ‘At the end of it I ended up knocking out two of them, the last one pretty spent before he stuck me with a Bowie knife.'  _ she scoffed, shaking her head at the memory, _ 'A fucking  _ Bowie  _ knife, bastard.’ _ she muttered.

Ava glanced at her with sympathetic eyes, nudging her with her shoulder as they walked onwards.

_ ‘The nuns finished him off with their glowy,’ _ Megan wiggled her fingers in a silly manner,  _ ‘Blue daggers and then immediately worried over me because, fuck, this is a civilian what do we do,’ _ she smiled, one of her hands coming up to smooth her hair back,  _ ‘So, they took me back to Cat’s Cradle and fixed me up, telling me I should rest and the whole spiel. At one point after, like, day three they couldn’t really deflect my questions anymore, so they told me about the whole deal here. _

_ At first I thought they were bullshitting me, like, demons? God? C’mon man,’ _ she said, Ava nodding vehemently, having shared the exact same thoughts during her first days at Cat’s Cradle.

_ ‘But then they showed me the halo, all white hot in its little holder, and I was like ‘fuck maybe this is real’. They told me about the night I fought with them, how the one nun I saw drop before jumping in was their bearer at the time,’ _ she paused, her expression becoming somber at the memory,  _ ‘Something about the knife angle fucked with her organs too much, so when the guy pulled it out she bled out too fast for the halo to heal her… she didn’t make it.’ _

Ava’s steps slowed with Megans as she slipped an arm through the taller woman’s, showing her support and presence.

_ ‘They thanked me over and over for being so ready to help them even without knowing what the hell was happening, telling me that it was a true sign of leadership and selflessness for me to have done that. I dunno, that’s just who I am,’ _ she continued, the arm holding Ava’s keeping the current bearer near,  _ ‘They made me a left-field offer by saying I should be the next bearer. I was like ‘I don’t know shit about any of this’, there’s gotta be someone more qualified, right? But Superion- yes,  _ the _ Mother Superion- even chimed in with the suggestion,’ _ she paused as they rounded a bend, her eyes looking upwards and out into the wooded area surrounding them,  _ ‘They gave me the time I needed to think about it, and after about a day of hard thinking, I agreed, and they put the halo in me,’ _ Megan made a funny face,  _ ‘That sounded weird. Whatever.’ _

Ava exhaled a quiet laugh, her other hand coming up to grasp Megan’s arm as they strolled.

_ ‘They trained me and we did missions, winning time after time, but I kinda missed doing normal person stuff, like, a lot. Normal person stuff like kissing and dating and, y’know, sex,’ _ she said, Ava letting out a quiet snort as she laughed, pulling a smile from Megan’s lips,  _ ‘I wasn’t a nun, I barely observed the rules- mostly the swearing rules because Superion would hand my ass to me on a platter when we’d “train” as punishment,’ _ Ava laughed fully at the image,  _ ‘But something kinda unfortunate happened,’ _ she said, looking down at Ava before continuing,  _ ‘I caught feelings for one of the nuns.’ _

Ava’s expression sobered, nodding softly as she looked down at their feet.

_ ‘I probably should’ve seen it coming, honestly, but it still hit me like a bus when I realized what all of that was about,’ _ she smiled slightly,  _ ‘Sister Alexis, cute as hell and super sweet. Kicked my ass plenty, too. She was one of the ones who would basically be at my bedside at all times during my recovery, and showed me the ropes when I got the halo installed,’ _ her smile grew slightly as her nose crinkled,  _ ‘She was so patient with me but she was no-bullshit, like, I’d get called out for stupid shit I’d pull and… I guess that and how  _ normally _ she treated me, I just kinda fell.’ _

Ava’s eyes stared forward, unfocused, drawing comparisons to her own life thus far.

_ ‘I was honest with her eventually, and I told her I wasn’t expecting anything back, obviously, but just like her, she caught me off-guard and kissed me,’  _ Megan smiled at the memory, her free hand coming up to brush her bottom lip with her thumb,  _ ‘She told me she felt the same, but she couldn’t just drop everything she’s worked for, and I told her I knew that and I didn’t want her to do anything drastic like that. We had our moment in the sun and we called it, but we knew what we felt, and we never forgot about it; I sure as hell didn’t.’ _

Ava’s gaze remained forward as she lightly squeezed Megan’s arm, urging her to continue.

_ ‘The night I got murked was pretty tough, some possessed drug lord opened fire before I could take cover and got a few shots into my left side from behind. They immediately called the mission and pulled back, Alexis nearly dragged me to the van so we could bolt,’ _ Megan’s eyes grew sad at the memory,  _ ‘I remember her trying to keep me from bleeding out, I remember the taste of blood and the pain that dulled by the second as the life in me leaked out.’ _

Ava’s chest tightened for her, moving closer as her hold on her arm tightened.

_ ‘What I remember most, though, is how much better of a leader I was once I told her everything, like, being real and open and loving her made  _ me _ better, all around,’ _ she said quietly,  _ ‘She did kiss me goodbye, and the taste of her overrode the pain. Her hands touching me overrode the pain in my side,’ _ she added, a sad smile coming to form on her lips, _ ‘It’s all I could think about before I went, how even with all of the bad- the demons, the dying, the evil- even if we couldn’t indulge like we wanted, our shared love gave us both hope for better things, it drowned out the noise, even in death. _

_ I can only imagine how powerful loving fully and openly would be.’ _

Ava’s eyes were distant as she stared forward, her lips slightly parted as she put two and two together.

Megan looked down at the younger woman, giving a soft smile as she nudged her lightly,  _ ‘You starting to get it?’ _

Ava shook her head gently, her eyes looking up to meet Megan’s as the corners of her lips quirked up, nodding slowly.

_ ‘Yeah, I think I am.’ _

  
  


~

  
  


The afternoon rays poured in from the open window, the warmth hitting Beatrice’s back as she sat at Ava’s bedside.

She held the bearer’s hand gently, her thumb brushing across Ava’s knuckles intermittently as each thought in her mind came and went, the only constant being her persistent hope that Ava would wake up in the next moment.

It was only at night that Beatrice would pray or think aloud, hoping that, even despite medical evidence, her voice would somehow guide Ava back to her.

So, she spent about an hour in the retreating sunlight, silent, before there was a soft knock on the door.

Mary peeked inside at the scene in front of her, giving a brief smile, “Hey,” she said softly, making her way inside.

“Hey,” Beatrice replied, her eyes returning to her and Ava’s joined hands.

Mary stuffed her hands in her pockets as her eyes dashed from Beatrice, to Ava, to their hands and back, “How are you feeling?” she inquired.

Beatrice shrugged indifferently, “Lighter, in a way, I suppose,” she replied, her eyes fluttering as they shifted to look at Ava’s face, “Why is waiting so difficult?” she added quietly, giving the hand in hers a slight squeeze.

Mary’s mouth shifted as she took a couple steps forward, her gaze shifting to the floor, “Something about hiding for your whole life will make you want everything as soon as you open up,” she replied, Beatrice looking up to look at Mary, “Or something. Maybe that’s just me.”

“No,” Beatrice replied, nodding softly as her eyes returned to their hands, “No, you’re right,” she added, shifting in her seat to sit more upright, “When you convince yourself of a certain truth, it becomes easier to deny yourself of that which you want most,” she continued, her other hand coming up to join the hold.

Mary nodded, “Yeah, like that,” she replied, her posture relaxing slightly, “It’s a bitch of a cycle to break, but once you do, you open up to a bunch of different opportunities,” she added, her eyes falling on Beatrice, “I’m glad you broke your own.”

Beatrice met her gaze and smiled lightly, “Me too,” she replied, shifting her eyes back to her and Ava’s hands before exhaling, her thoughts coming to form on her tongue.

“You may not even know that you did, but you were the one who showed me that pushing past fear and judgement can be worthwhile, that sometimes embracing risk is the only way to approach certain things,” Beatrice continued, a small, appreciative smile blooming on her lips, “You did that for me, with Shannon, even with just yourself,” she paused, her gaze coming to fall back on Ava’s face, eyes flickering, “Being true, that’s what matters most; I know that now.”

Mary’s lips were parted, the older woman rendered speechless by Beatrice’s admittance. Mary knew that she, herself, wanted to show Beatrice those exact things: she just didn’t know that Beatrice would dissect her methods down to the detail.

And by doing so, Mary made a connection of her own.

Beatrice stood slowly and approached Mary, stopping short to look her in the eyes.

“Thank you, for everything.” she said, the statement simultaneously general and specific in its meaning.

Beatrice opened her arms in an invitation, Mary giving a half smile as she walked forward into the embrace.

They held each other tightly, eventually relaxing before pulling away, Beatrice meeting her eyes again.

“How are  _ you _ feeling?” she asked, a small smile forming as she switched their roles momentarily, turning to walk back to her seat.

Mary’s mouth twitched, turning her head to the side slightly in thought, “Aware, I guess,” she replied, her eyes unfocused, “Been realizing a lot of stuff lately.” she added quietly, one hand sliding into her jeans pocket.

Beatrice reclaimed Ava’s hand as she listened, nodding softly as she resumed her gentle thumb strokes, looking to Mary.

“You should go talk to her.”

Mary met her eyes, immediately picking up on the underlying meaning of the basic phrasing, nodding slowly as she thought, “Yeah, I will,” she replied, shifting her feet, “I just gotta think right now.”

Beatrice nodded understandingly, “Take your time,” she replied, Mary nodding once before turning to exit the small hospital room, suddenly needing air at the thoughts popping into her head, “But, Mary,”

The older woman paused to turn her head back to Beatrice, awaiting her final word.

  
  


“Have faith.”

  
  


Mary inhaled slowly as she blinked, nodding at the implicit advice as she pushed the door open, letting herself into the hallway.

The hit of cool air gave Mary pause as her eyes fell to her hands, her fingers flexing and extending as she breathed, thinking.

Pivoting, she began walking in the direction of one of ARQTech’s rear doors leading to the vineyard, eventually taking her outside, the mid-November temperature dropping as the sun set.

Mary looked out into the vineyard and chewed at her bottom lip, her feet beginning to carry her along the footpath.   
  


She turned Beatrice’s words over in her head as she walked, ruminating on the simplicity yet weighty nature of the young woman’s statements.

_ “... embracing risk is the only way to approach certain things,” _

It’s true, Mary knew it. Her line of work- hell, her life revolved around making decisions despite of or in favor of risks.

Every mission involves risk: the risk of injury or death or possession, of herself and others; thing is, Mary made herself a personal promise to be the first to face those risks, especially if it means her sisters could be saved.

That's why losing Shannon was so hard. She had failed. She couldn’t keep her promise, not that night.

The combination of falling short and losing the woman she loved- it was too much. 

Mary had considered leaving the OCS for a brief time after that, embracing self examination to the point of breaking down her own personal motivations to the detail. Why did she choose this? Like she had said before, it gave her a purpose; a family, but there was something more to it.

  
  


Why?

  
  


_ “Being true, that’s what matters most,” _

  
  


Mary thought hard.

Truth. 

Protecting others, strangers and family, that’s her purpose. Putting herself on the frontlines for the cause of keeping the world safe and free from evil, that’s her purpose. That is her truth.

She is driven not by ambition, but by care. By love. 

Maybe that’s why she built her walls; she knows she’s motivated by a vulnerable part of herself, and that vulnerability gave her strength, but it also had the strength to gut her if she faltered- if she fell short on her promise.

That was her fear. That was what she needed to push past to accept her humanity, her flaws. She can’t be a hero all of the time, it’s not real, it’s not possible.

But she can do her damnedest to achieve that.

She can use that vulnerability, that integral part of herself that loves hard and cares too much, to be her best self. To serve the world, her sisters, and...

  
  


_ “Have faith.” _

Mary stopped walking and inhaled sharply.

  
  


Have faith. Believe.

  
  


She turned around and began walking back to ARQTech, her pace increasing as she neared the doors.

The cool air hit her again, this time solidifying her thoughts instead of trying to coax them out of her.

Mary moved quickly down the hall, her subconscious taking her exactly where she knew she needed to be.

She was going to push past her fears, to embrace the parts of herself that she kept under a bushel- she was going to bring her vulnerability out into the light, for the sake of truth, for herself.

She was going to have faith in love, honestly and fully.

  
  


For Lilith.

  
  


Her feet stopped in front of a door, her eyes flickering at the recognition of the lone familiar silhouette on the other side of the frosted glass.

Mary raised a fist, her heart thrumming, and knocked.

The figure on the other side of the glass shifted at the noise, standing and coming closer before the door opened.

Lilith's eyes brightened upon seeing Mary at her door, though, her brow furrowed when she saw the expression on her face, "Hey, what's happening?"

Mary opened her mouth to speak, her tongue dry and she swallowed, trying to concentrate her nerves into action.

"Can I come in- to talk? With you." she stammered, mentally rolling her eyes at her lack of composure.

Lilith's lips parted as her eyebrows shifted upwards slightly, nodding quickly as she opened the door to allow Mary a path inside.

Mary strode in, her eyes still wide as she attempted to calm her stuttering heart, the words in her mind beginning to piece together into coherent sentences.

She stripped herself of her heavy overcoat, too warm with energy and emotion to bear the weight of the garment. 

Lilith clenched her jaw at the sight of Mary in a simple black tank top, her lightly muscular shoulders catching the residual rays from the sunset pouring through the window. She forced her eyes upwards as Mary turned to her, taking a deep breath.

“I, uh,” Mary started, shaking her head as a hand came up to massage her forehead as she thought, “God, I don’t even know where to start,” she added, letting out an incredulous laugh as Lilith watched her process her own thoughts.

“I can’t stop thinking about that kiss, because it didn’t feel like a kiss, it felt like you were trying to tell me something,” Mary began, her hands coming to smooth down her thighs as she managed to control her nerves, “I know you were, that’s how you are- that’s one of the ways we’ve always communicated, through action, but this held something in it; something big, and I need you to tell me what it was so I know that I’m reading this right.”

Lilith stared up at Mary before she stood, taking a few slow steps before stopping in front of the older woman, her eyes fixed on her hands.

“I told all of you of my dream vision about my past, who I am,” she started, Mary nodding as she waited for Lilith to continue.

“I didn’t understand any of what they told me at first, it made no sense to me with my memory gone at the time; but one thing stuck out among the rest,” she paused, Lilith’s eyes coming up to meet Mary’s, “It was like a key that unlocked all of the answers to my questions,” she continued, her hands coming to reach out, grasping Mary’s.

“It’s you,” she stated, her gaze unbreakable as Mary’s eyes flickered, “You are my answer, Mary. And I-” she cut herself off, letting out a breathy laugh before taking a steadying breath.

“My strength- my power, it lies in love,” she added, Mary squeezing her hands at the building confession.

“I’m in love with you, Mary. I think I have been even before I knew you. Ever since we met, a part of me was drawn to you, and it was the part of me that remains open, even now, to  _ you _ .” she said, her brow worried slightly at the silence from the older woman, the information no doubt overwhelming in its weight.

They stood for too many seconds in silence, their hands clasped as Mary processed Lilith’s words, making sense of her own reality; of her own emotions.

Lilith began to extract her hands from Mary’s, feeling a sense of loss at the silence she was met with, “If you need time to process, I understand. I’m sorry if this was too much all at once, I should have-”

Mary cut off her words as their lips connected in a kiss, Lilith’s hands coming to hover beside Mary’s arms, her hands cupping the younger woman’s face.

She pulled away, her gaze full and intense.

“I want this,” Mary said quietly, her thumbs brushing Lilith’s cheeks gently, “I’ve done my share of soul searching, and I want this with you.” she declared, Lilith’s eyes darting back and forth between Mary’s as her hands settled on her elbows.

She quickly moved forward, capturing Mary’s lips again, this time allowing some of her pent up emotions to come through in her touch.

They moved against each other, both of Mary’s hands coming down to snake around Lilith’s waist to pull her closer, Lilith’s arms wrapping around Mary’s shoulders.

Her fingers danced just beneath the hem of Lilith’s shirt in a silent question, the younger woman moving away briefly to pull it off and over her head.

Mary’s eyes flickered at the exposed form before her, her eyes catching on the glow of the scar marking Lilith’s right side, now only a few orange and yellow glowing branches.

She kneeled, slowly, her hands settling on either side of Lilith’s hips before leaning forward, pressing a soft kiss to the healed flesh, her thumbs brushing the smooth skin beneath them.

Lilith settled a hand against the side of Mary’s face, gently urging the older woman to look up at her.

Mary’s eyes met fiery ones, though they held no fear or anger; the fire in Lilith’s eyes was divine, ignited by the eternal love she held for the woman kneeling before her. 

Mary stood, her eyes roaming the half-bare body in front of her before Lilith reached forward, her hand coming to rest against Mary’s cheek as the older woman’s eyes connected with hers.

Thumb brushing against her skin, Lilith gently pressed her fingers against where they settled on Mary’s neck, urging her closer until they were a mere breath apart.

“I want you,” she whispered, taking a few slow steps forward before Mary stopped against the edge of the bed, sitting against the plush surface as Lilith leaned into her.

Lilith’s hands slowly slid downwards, ghosting against Mary’s neck, abdomen, eventually settling against the top of her jeans.

Her eyebrows raised ever so slightly, Mary giving a subtle nod before she slowly undid the button, Lilith’s fingertips whispering against the newly exposed skin.

She leaned forward, their lips nearly brushing as she breathed one final phrase.

  
  


“I will always want you.”

  
  


~

  
  


_ ‘Static strength, four hundred eighty five kilos…’ _

_ ‘... direct strike PSI is five hundred seventy seven…’ _

_ ‘... upper decibel limit reached at two hundred three…’ _

Jillian typed out her thoughts as she transferred her client’s data into a new document, another progress report in the long line of years worth of experimentation.

Despite all of the craziness as of late, Jillian had to actively contain her excitement at the prospect of seeing her client up close, of being able to test her capabilities in person.

She had been orchestrating the concepts and types of machines to be developed from afar, keeping contact with engineers and regularly video chatting with her client to keep tabs on the experimentation from all angles of the operation.

The concepts alone were titillating, but the reality of working in real time, face to face, with a  _ cyborg _ was just… it was huge.

So, Jillian tried to occupy her mind with other activities, coming up with a timeline for adamantine’s formation and construction, ordering raw materials from her suppliers, designing new weapon molds, and, of course, preparing ARQTech for the arrival of her mechanized subject.

Jillian had just typed in the last bit of data into the chart when she got a text from her receptionist, the message reading as follows.

  
  


**Sending you a copy of peripheral security footage. Energy beacons were damaged. You need to see this.**

  
  


Jillian’s brow furrowed in confusion, a familiar sense of uneasiness forming in her chest and radiating down her spine.

A video finally loaded onto her screen, the thumbnail completely unsuspecting of the content the recording contained.

She watched as it played, the first two minutes feeling more like ten as her eyes, unblinking, stared at now flickering video quality.

She watched as the sensor beacons in the video gradually lit up, approaching maximum capability before shattering with the energy of an unseen force approached.

  
  


Jillian’s eyes widened with fear and curiosity at what came next.

  
  


A hooded figure came into focus, his steps slow but absolute as he neared the hidden security camera in a slab of rock.

As he neared, dread began to build within Jillian’s chest as she took in his mutilated appearance, the scars on his skin shrouded under the shadows of his garb.

Jillian’s eyes flicked to the date and timestamp in the corner of the video, her jaw clenching as her mouth went dry.

The figure looked directly into the camera, his scarlet eyes locking on the lens as his pupils contracted, the scar on his chest glowing as the camera immediately fuzzed out and went dead.

Jillian sat stock still as the video ended, her breathing increasing as her oxygen intake felt as though it did nothing to help her thumping heart.

She swallowed, her eyes shifting to look at the clock on her phone.

_ ‘12:02 AM.’ _ she thought, her jaw shifting as she clicked the message bar, typing out a text.

  
  


**Send me all of the footage you have from the past few days, I need to make sure nothing was missed.**

  
  


Jillian waited for the response ping, her thoughts ricocheting around in her mind.

  
  


**Sending now.**

  
  


Each video began to load as the texts came in, one by one, as she thought hard about what she was to do next.

She had to tell her guests about this, but when? Their most powerful warrior is down for the count, how can she deliver this without causing a panic?

As she viewed each video, Jillian decided that the sooner she informed the women staying here, the better.

Whatever this  _ thing _ is, it’s powerful, and judging by the fear only now subsiding in Jillian’s mind, it’s not just that.

  
  


It’s dangerous.

  
  


~

  
  


The moon’s rays dimly illuminated the space around them, the two women relaxed as they lay wrapped up in one another.

Lilith’s head rested against Mary’s chest, their legs entangled as Mary ran her fingers through raven hair, the soft sounds of Lilith's breaths lulling her to rest.

Her mind, however, succumbed to curiosity, a question poking at the front of her mind. 

“Lilith,” she said softly, the younger woman humming in question, "What was it like?"

Lilith shifted slightly, her hand coming to lie flush against Mary's abdomen, "What do you mean?"

"Y'know," she replied, her free hand coming down to rest atop Lilith's, "Hell."

The younger woman stilled momentarily, "What do you want to know?"

Mary shrugged, her fingers continuing their ministrations through Lilith's hair, "All of it, I guess," she replied, her mouth shifting slightly, "If you're alright with that." 

Lilith nodded, her thumb brushing back and forth above Mary's navel, "I am," she replied, thinking of a proper segue, "Well, it's quite warm, for starters."

Mary chuckled and lightly flicked Lilith's shoulder, "No shit," she replied, "Like… you mentioned that there were others." 

Lilith exhaled slowly, "Yeah," she recalled, pausing so she got the details right, "There's seven princes, one for each deadly sin. I've only met three of them, but I've heard good things about the rest," she exhaled a laugh, Mary smiling at the irony of calling demons 'good' in a sense.

"The one I saw the most was Adramelech, who oversees Hell as Chancellor, and assistant to Azazel," she smiled against Mary's chest, "Well, more than an assistant."

Mary's eyebrows furrowed slightly, "How do you mean?" 

Lilith licked her lips and sat up, resting her head on her fist as she met Mary's gaze, "They're lovers."

Mary's eyebrows rose, nodding once, "Huh," she expressed quietly, her finger continuing to trace endless patterns on Lilith's shoulder.

"Intimacies aside," she continued, "I was... well, I was asked to return here to retrieve Azazel's crown."

Mary groaned, her free hand coming up to cover her eyes, "Great, another fucking task," she muttered, Lilith reaching forward to remove her hand, Mary's eyes meeting her gaze.

"Not entirely," she replied quietly, her eyes roaming the older woman's features thoughtfully, watching as her eyebrows furrowed, "The halo  _ is  _ the crown."

Mary stiffened as her eyes shifted away from Lilith, processing the words now swimming around in her head.

She sat up, hunched over as she bit her bottom lip, thinking.

"We've been led to believe that the OCS's most powerful weapon is actually  _ not _ an angel's halo, but the crown of the King of Hell- that's what you're saying." she stated, Lilith nodding in her peripheral vision as Mary scoffed, "I thought a Cardinal committing murder was crazy, this is a whole 'nother level of batshit insane," she added, shaking her head as she came to terms with the information, "So, if you've been sent to get the crown, but the crown is in Ava… then what?"

It was Lilith's turn to worry her lip, her eyes falling down to her lap, "Because of my closeness with Azazel, I made a deal with him," she stated, Mary's gaze falling back onto Lilith, "I told him we needed time to use its power, because of Adriel; once that's handled, I'd bring it back to him, but under one condition," she said, her eyes meeting Mary's stare, "I give him his crown, he gives Ava unhindered life- no quadriplegia."

Mary's mouth formed a thin line, her eyes distant but unwavering as they held Lilith's gaze, "A deal with the devil," she replied, looking down as she reached for Lilith's hand, lacing their fingers together, "You really trust him?"

Lilith was quiet for a few moments, her eyes never falling away from Mary's concerned features, "I do," she said softly, Mary's eyes coming back up to meet hers, Lilith squeezing her hand, "I know him well, he doesn't lie," she added, her thumb brushing the back of Mary's palm comfortingly as she leaned in closer, "Plus, Adramelech can be quite persuasive when it comes to keeping promises."

Mary's eyes flicked between Lilith's, a small smirk forming on her lips, "Sounds like somebody I know." she replied, Lilith humming in agreement before their lips met, Mary's free hand smoothing around Lilith's waist, gently urging her forward.

Lilith smirked into the kiss, gently shaking her head as Mary fell back against the mattress, eyes narrowed humorously, " _ That _ can wait, I need water," she said, Mary rolling her eyes as Lilith stood, her nude body illuminated in the moonlight almost immediately entrancing Mary.

Lilith reached for an oversized hoodie and shorts, slipping the first garment on as Mary watched. 

"See something you like?" Lilith teased, her smile only growing when Mary cocked an eyebrow at the question.

"I did until you covered up." she replied confidently, a slight glint in her eyes. 

Lilith shook her head, looking down as she fixed her shorts in place, "Do you want a bottle, too?"

Mary gave a faux thoughtful look, "If a round two is in order, then yes," she replied, receiving a prompt face-full of tank top as she laughed, removing the item before meeting Lilith's shining eyes.

"Mind out of the gutter, Mary." she said quietly, reaching for the door handle and stepping out into the cool hallway.

As she made her way to the concession area, Lilith found herself smiling at all that had recently transpired.

Her memory recollection, the ownership of her emotions, Mary’s reciprocation. Mary’s hands. 

Her lips.

_ 'You're really in it now.' _ she thought to herself, internally shaking her head at the overtly romantic thoughts. 

The cooler that held bottles of water came into view, Lilith making a beeline for the trunk before stopping abruptly.

She heard something, but it wasn't normal.

It was in another plane of existence. 

_ That _ plane.

She looked around slowly, trying to find any source of disturbance. 

Nothing.

Lilith closed her eyes tightly, taking in a deep breath as she focused.

The room took on a yellowish hue once she opened her eyes, again scanning her environment for any sort of movement or form.

A brief flash of darkness out of the corner of her eye.

Lilith conjured her claws, her eyes fiery as she promptly turned towards the direction of the dark energy. Her eyes flicked all around the room, attempting to find something- anything.

  
  


There.

  
  


She approached the side door leading outside, her steps silent as her eyes stayed fixed on the door handle. 

Pushing the door open, slowly, Lilith’s eyes fell upon a hooded figure, the back of which was turned to her as she froze.

The figure stood, postured, his shoulders rising and falling with the force of his breathing. 

Lilith, barefoot, took a step to the side.

Then another.

  
  


And another.

The figure's head twitched from side to side, but did not turn to look, so Lilith tried something else.

Silently, she picked up a small stone, watching the figure as she tossed it to the opposing side of him.

As the stone hit the ground, the figure turned sharply in the direction of the sound. 

Lilith's eyebrows furrowed as she studied him, thinking of another test.

She snapped her fingers.

The figure turned directly to her, revealing the grotesque features to the former nun, some worse than she's seen, even in Hell.

She watched, though, as his eyes shifted wildly around her general space, his pupils dilating and contracting in an attempt to focus on her.

Lilith's fiery eyes widened slightly.

_ He can't see me. _

She began to circle the demon, silently, as she noticed his head twitch like it did before, seeking to identify her. Lilith snapped her fingers again, the demon swiftly turning in her direction as he squinted, trying ever so hard to see what was in front of him.

Suddenly, he dropped to his knees, his eyes snapping shut as his hands covered face, his breathing increasing in intensity as his body turned away from… 

_ What's inside ARQTech that's hurting him? _

Her brow creased in confusion as the demon, then, swiped the air, causing a tear in the world's fibers, and disappearing into the darkness of the void on the other side.

Lilith stood there, alone and unbelieving as she came to terms with all that she just witnessed, attempting to recall any of the power having been displayed from her memory amongst demons in Hell, and failing.

The door abruptly swung open, Lilith's eyes fixing on a familiar figure bearing a hurried expression.

"Lilith?" Mary called out cautiously, her gaze fixed on the focused fire in Lilith’s eyes, her claws drawn.

The younger woman closed her eyes and shook her head, her claws disappearing as her eyes returned to normal, "What is it?" she asked.

Mary shook her own head, pushing aside the curiosity of Lilith's current whereabouts.

"It's Ava," she started, Lilith's eyes widening at the mention of their fallen bearer. She began walking towards Mary, stopping short of a few steps to speak directly in front of her 

"What? What happened?" she questioned, Mary's eyes bright but far away, still processing the news she, too, just received.

  
  


"She’s awake."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WJSJAKJSSK WHAT (SHARE UR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS AND DROP A KUDOS BC EVEN IM LOSING IT FOR WHAT COMES NEXT AHHH LOVE YALL MWAH)


	11. somebody sit in my chair, and ruin my sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:7-8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- song insps: Ink by Coldplay, Superstition by Kina Grannis, Before I Forget by Slipknot, Born for This by Paramore  
> \- holy SHIT i did not mean to take this long on this guy, the holiday weekend just took any and all energy from me LOL, sorry about that but its HERE NOW!! MID-SEASON FINALE CAN I GET A HELL YEAH  
> \- tumblr for questions/thoughts: piedpiperwriter  
> \- dont forget to leave a comment with your thoughts and a kudos at the end! i love your feedback so much <3  
> \- as always, enjoy!!

Ava and Megan finished their walk in relative silence, Ava hanging off of Megan's arm as they both enjoyed the vaguely familiar comfort the other gave off.

As they approached the rear courtyard of spectral Cat’s Cradle, both women noticed a particular level of energy stirring amongst the past warrior nuns, many of them shifting forward or poking their heads upward in order to look at… something.

Ava’s eyebrows furrowed, thoroughly confused at the commotion, _‘What’s going on?’_ she thought.

Originally intending for only Megan to hear her, Ava’s thoughts were perceived by a nearby spirit, who in response fixed her eyes on the current bearer as she moved aside for her to pass. 

Ava paused at Megan’s side, the taller woman watching and listening in on the hushed mental whispers of the past warriors as they parted like the Red Sea for Ava, smiling slightly before nudging the shorter woman in an invitation to walk forward.

Ava glanced upwards at her, her eyes immediately returning to the women currently parted for… her.

She shook her head, taking a steadying step forward, _‘Jesus,’_ she thought as her feet carried her forward, each step closer to what lie ahead.

Megan let out a chuckle, _‘No, just Ava.’_ she replied, following behind the halo bearer each step of the way as they made their way inside.

As Ava approached the altar, she was met with an unfamiliar face of a woman who held a vaguely recognizable aura.

_‘Who’s this?’_ Ava inquired gently as she stopped short of the now-trio, her eyes flicking between Shannon and Ann as she awaited an answer.

Megan passed her and hopped up onto the altar, swinging her legs up on top to lie down fully, _‘Details, kid.’_ she thought, peeking up to look Ava in the eye to punctuate her words, _‘Look for the details.’_

Shannon smiled as she looked down, folding her hands behind her back as she turned towards the seats next to the altar, making to sit as Ava stood, clueless, to figure out who this former warrior nun was.

Ava gave a slightly exasperated shrug, _‘Okay, um,’_ she started, the woman smirking slightly as the greener of the two attempted to identify her.

_‘Here, maybe this will help,’_ the woman thought, her German-tinged French accent catching Ava’s mind off guard as she removed her worn tweed jacket.

Ava took in the roughly rolled shirt sleeves, suspenders, newsboy cap, and…

  
  


_“Wait, how could she be Jewish and a nun?”_

_“... They persecuted others for being different, not just Jews.”_

_Beatrice’s eyes flicked between Ava and the journal, swallowing before stating the defining words._

_“She was gay.”_

  
  


Ava’s eyes focused on the numbers tattooed on the woman’s arm, her stare shifting up to meet her eyes.

_‘You’re Sister Melanie.’_

The woman smiled fully at that, nodding gently as she took a couple steps forward, _'Yes,'_ she replied, looking up to meet the current bearer's gaze, _'Hello, Ava.'_

A smile split across Ava's face, the young woman shaking her head as she gave an incredulous laugh, _'Uh hi. Hi,' she stuttered, her hands fidgeting in front of her, 'I read your story in-'_

_'In the journal, yes, I know.'_ Melanie finished for her, giving a half smile as she remembered, _'Whenever our stories are found and read, we're… summoned, I suppose, to view those which called for us,' she started, 'I was able to listen and see as you read my words,' she paused, a slight glint in her eye as she corrected herself, 'Well, one of you, that is.'_

Ava's eyes fluttered at the allusion, _‘Yeah,’_ she thought , an unfamiliar and faraway feeling blossoming in her chest, _'Beatrice was, um- she was translating it from French to English for me,’_ she added, a small smile gracing her lips at the memory.

Melanie returned the expression, lacing her fingers together as she leaned against the altar, _‘Little did you know, it was that act that allowed me to see you both, not just Beatrice, as you took in my story.’_

Ava met Melanie’s eyes, taking in their unusual shine, _‘The act of…?’_

Melanie looked down at her hands as her smile widened, _‘Her act of service to you, in translating the text,’_ she replied, looking back up to meet Ava’s gaze, _‘The intensity of her motivations helped make my vision clearer, more vivid,’_ she added, eyes quietly searching Ava’s for an inkling of recognition.

Ava was quiet for a beat, her own eyes falling down to her glowing, translucent hands in thought, _‘Motivations… like why she wanted to do that- for me,’_ she worked out, turning around to pace slowly, _‘I mean, she had to, right? We were looking for information on the halo, so she_ had _to read it to me,’_ she added, biting her bottom lip as she continued to mesh out the hidden details.

_‘That’s not all she was looking for,’_ Melanie thought, taking a few steps towards Ava, the bearer’s back to her, _‘Nor was it all you were supposed to figure out.’_

Ava closed her eyes as Melanie’s thoughts echoed through her head, her fingers twisting in thought as she attempted to make connections.

_‘Your story was about pushing through pain, right? Like getting past your fears to embrace everything about you- that gave you power. That’s what that night at the pub taught you,’_ Ava stated, receiving a mental hum of agreement from Melanie.

_‘That was the key to unlocking_ my _power: truth, even in the face of hatred,’_ she thought, rounding to face Ava, the younger woman’s eyes still shut, _‘What is_ your _key, Ava? What gives you strength to fight? What gives you power?’_

Ava shook her head, lips parted as she tried to conjure understanding, _‘I-I don’t know yet, not for sure-’_

_‘Yes,_ mon chéri _, you do,’_ Melanie urged, reaching forward to grasp Ava’s hands as the younger woman reciprocated the numb touch, eyes still closed tight.

  
  


_‘She’s been there from the start.’_

Ava’s eyes snapped open, locking with Melanie’s intense gaze

  
  


_‘It’s her, isn’t it?’_

  
  


Melanie smirked as Ava lined up everything she’s learned thus far, putting the pieces together to get a full picture in her mind.

The current bearer pulled away slowly, passing by Melanie and making her way to stand before the other former warriors, her eyes not focused on any one of them

_‘This isn’t_ just _about, like, me being honest with myself, or realizing my feelings, or being a better warrior nun,’_ Ava started, her hands wringing as she nodded to herself, _‘It’s all of that and what’s at the root of it; what gives me strength to be honest, to say what I feel out loud, to be a fighter,’_ she continued, her eyes coming to settle on each of the women before her, finally turning to Melanie.

_‘Beatrice.’_ Ava stated, _‘She’s my key.’_

Melanie smiled, her eyes flicking to each of the women behind Ava, each smiling as pride filled them to see Ava so aware, so awake.

_‘Why? Why is Beatrice your key?’_ Melanie asked.

Ava allowed her own smile to widen as she conjured the words.

_‘Because I_ love _her,’_ she stated simply, _‘And it’s through loving her that gives me strength and power, because-’_

_‘“It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres,”’_ Melanie quoted, taking a few steps forward until she stood before Ava, looking down at the current bearer, _‘“Love never fails.”’_

Ava looked up into Melanie’s eyes and nodded, recognizing the full extent of this truth, _‘My strength, through love, cannot fail as long as she’s with me.’_

Melanie smiled in response, placing a hand on Ava’s shoulder before she turned, making her way back towards Ann and giving the former warrior a nod.

Shannon, having been a witness to Ava’s grand epiphany, looked to Ann, and Ann to Megan, both of the more recent warriors slowly making their way towards Ava, Shannon making to kneel before the current halo bearer.

She reached forward to grasp Ava’s hands, her thumbs swiping the back of her palms affectionately as she met Ava’s stare.

Megan looked down onto the shared moment, smiling at the sweet sister-esque gesture between the both of them as she placed a hand on Shannon’s shoulder, the former warrior turning to look up at Megan.

_‘Time’s almost up.’_ she thought, Shannon’s eyes falling to nowhere in particular as she nodded slowly, noticing how Ava’s grip tightened slightly.

_‘What does that mean?’_ Ava asked, her eyes darting between the two of them.

Shannon returned the squeeze, _‘This is the end of our journey together, Ava.’_

Ava’s eyes widened as she shook her head, _‘What? No, no I still have so many questions-’_

She was cut off by the sound of a distant heartbeat, steady in its rhythm.

_‘And you will find your answers; “seek and you shall find”, remember?’_ Shannon reminded, smiling warmly to try and comfort Ava in her final moments.

Ava nodded quickly, _‘“Knock, and it will be opened to you”,’_ she responded, a growing feeling of warmth developing in her chest.

  
  


The heartbeat grew louder in Ava’s mind.

  
  


The startled halo bearer looked to Megan, the taller woman nodding calmly as she reached forward, placing her hand under Ava’s chin to tilt her head up higher.

_‘It’s up to you now, kid,’_ Megan said, giving a small smile as her eyes reflected with kindness.

  
  


Ava felt the heartbeat settle in her chest now, the sound of distant beeping echoing through her head.

  
  


The image of her guardians began to fade in and out of focus, Ava’s grip on Shannon’s hands growing tighter as she began to panic.

_‘We’ll be with you when you need us most, Ava.’_ Shannon said reassuringly, squeezing Ava’s hands as any vague idea of physical touch began to fade, _‘I promise.’_

Ava shook her head vehemently, willing her mind to stay rooted in this world, needing just a little more time. 

_‘No, wait-!’_

  
  


The beeping grew louder as the world around Ava went dark.

  
  


The sounds of panicked, excited voices, slowly coming into focus.

  
  


A dull, persistent ache.

  
  


Machines whirring.

  
  


Those familiar, calloused hands wrapped around her one of her own.

  
  


Ava, then, opened her eyes.

  
  


~

  
  


**_1 Hour Earlier_ **

  
  


The steam rolled out of the bathroom as the door opened, a byproduct of Beatrice’s indulgence after another late-night training session, the hot water helping ease her sore muscles after practicing striking combinations again, and again, and again.

She had been lost in her head for the past two days, finding herself resorting to practicing mindless physical skills as opposed to mindful mental skills and knowledge acquisition. Luckily, Camila being the intuitive genius she was, picked up on Beatrice’s foggy focus, offering to take on the brunt of the research for the time being. 

Since then, each muttered prayer that made its way past Beatrice’s lips was a quiet attempt to bring Ava back to consciousness, the feeble nature of her methods causing her faith in God above to dwindle.

The night prior was particularly difficult, having hit damn near rock bottom in terms of hope, each minute of Ava’s absence feeling like an hour, each hour feeling like a lifetime. Beatrice broke down at the peak of her exhaustion, thinking not only of her own feelings, but on the ‘what if’s if Ava didn’t wake up soon, the disastrous possibilities overwhelming her to tears.

However, her hardest night happened to be a turning point of sorts.

Giving herself a moment of release, Beatrice felt a sense of calm wash over her, unable to explain the phenomenon in terms of neurotransmitters and stress relief, or something otherworldly. Whichever it was, it restored part of her hope that began to wilt. 

Beatrice’s mind still may be hazy, but there now was a light at the end of the tunnel, she just had to keep walking towards it.

Once again becoming lost in her thoughts, Beatrice just noticed that Camila was not in her usual spot in the room they shared together, Jillian having split them up into more accommodating spaces when she realized the extent of their stay.

She toweled off her hair, brushing it and eventually pulling it into a bun. She threw on a t-shirt and some sweats before slipping on her Converse, yet again making her way back down to Ava’s room.

Upon approaching the window, Beatrice noticed Camila, head lolled back against the chair she occupied, and feet up on Ava’s bed, asleep with a book opened in her lap. 

Smiling, Beatrice silently pushed open the door and tip-toed her way to her own chair, removing Camila’s book en-route, and sat at Ava’s right side.

Having settled into her usual spot, she reached out and gently grasped the halo bearer’s hand, intertwining their fingers like she did several days before at the hostel.

This time, though, it felt different.

It felt definite; strong. 

Fearless.

There was no attempt at justification in Beatrice’s mind, no need for validation in what she knew and felt was real.

She was in love, and that love gave her courage and a passion that she had only felt once before- only this time, the only thing that could separate her from Ava was herself.

So, Beatrice held her hand and grasped a rosary in the other, her fingers squeezing each successive bead representing a Hail Mary.

After some time, Camila shifted in her sleep, catching Beatrice’s attention as the younger woman burrowed into the seat cushion, pulling her jacket up to her chin like a blanket.

Beatrice smiled softly before something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention.

It was the monitor recording Ava’s brainwaves in real time, the purple and indigo lines of her delta and theta waves being overshadowed by the newly developed green lines of her alpha waves beginning to pulse, rising and falling by the second. Beatrice watched as the orange lines indicating beta waves twitched sometime after, the synapses in her own brain firing to realize-

She turned sharply to Ava’s heart rate monitor, of which began to increase in its pace.

  
  


She felt the hand in hers give a squeeze.

  
  


Beatrice’s mind stuttered as the halo monitor recording energy output began to beep wildly, the visualization of the halo on the screen growing bright.

“Ava?” she asked cautiously, noticing Camila had been roused from her slumber, “Ava, can you hear me?”

  
  


The halo bearer let out a quiet groan, head tilting ever so slightly in her direction.

Beatrice’s eyes widened as her other hand came to grasp around their entwined pair, “Ava! I’m here, I’m here,” she said quickly, her eyes searching the face in front of her as Ava became more expressive, her eyebrows creasing slightly.

  
  


Ava opened her eyes.

“Beatrice?” she whispered, her fingers twitching within the former nun’s hold as she gave a weak squeeze.

A smile broke out onto Beatrice’s lips as she felt a laugh bubble up within her chest, “Yes, I’m here, I’m here,” she replied, joyful tears slowly beginning to build.

Beatrice’s eyes darted to a bleary-eyed Camila, who sat with her mouth agape, frozen with shock and awe at the scene unfolding before her.

“Go tell Mary and Lilith, bring them here.” Beatrice requested, Camila nodding as she made to stand, nearly stumbling out of the door with her sleep-heavy limbs.

Ava smiled gently at the voice that she had missed so much, at the kind touch she could never forget.

“Hi.” she breathed, earning another laugh from Beatrice.

“Hi,” she replied, a tear slipping out of her eye as she settled her lips against their clasped hands, her gaze never parting from Ava’s, “I’ve missed you.” she whispered.

Ava closed her eyes and exhaled a weak laugh, nodding gently as their eyes met again, “I missed you, too,” she replied, her left hand littered with tubes and wires coming to swipe away a tear that just began to fall down Beatrice’s cheek, “More than you know.”

Beatrice’s heartbeat increased at the implication, her next actions purely impulsive in nature.

She closed her eyes and held Ava’s hand firmly, pressing a kiss to her knuckles.

Ava’s heart swelled at the act, the love she came to realize she harbored only growing.

Beatrice pulled away, brushing her thumbs over where she left the kiss before looking up, sighing, “There’s so much I have to tell you.” she stated, Ava picking up on the weight of the words that held a multitude of meanings.

The halo bearer nodded gently, “Yeah, me too,” she replied, now acutely aware of just how _many_ things she was hooked up to, “But first, can we-?”

Beatrice nodded, waiting for her to continue.

“Can we ditch the feeding tube?”

A smile grew on Beatrice’s face as she chuckled, nodding.

“I’ll see to it.”

  
  


~  
  


Mary was just starting to get concerned with how long Lilith had been gone before a frantic knock sounded at the door, the eldest of the former sisters grumbling as she quickly slipped on a pair of pajama pants and her recently weaponized tank top, padding over to the door being damn near tenderized.

“Okay! Jesus,” she said, swinging open the heavy oak, now even more confused to see…

“Camila, it’s 1:47 in the morning,” Mary stated plainly, watching as the youngest of them tried to catch her breath from her previous sprint, “Wait, what’s going on?”

Camila stood up fully, her shoulders still heaving with each breath, “Ava,” she managed, Mary’s eyes widening at the mention, “Awake.”

Mary froze.

  
  


“Like, right now?”

Camila nodded.

“Fuck.”

  
  


Camila craned her neck to try and see into the room, picking up on the disheveled nature of the bed, “Lilith?”

“She went to go get water,” Mary replied, leaving out ultimately unnecessary details, “Okay, um, go back to Ava, I’ll go get Lilith.”

Camila nodded, turning back around in the direction she came.

Mary stood there, stock still as she held the door open for no one.

“Good God.”

She jumped into action then, quickly grabbing the key to the room and a jacket before bolting towards the concession area.

Her concern mounted as she didn’t find Lilith anywhere, only catching sight of the side door, ajar.

She quickly closed the distance, pulling the door open to catch the tail-end of some strange, dark energy before it disappeared out of sight.

Mary shook her head, convincing herself for the time being that it was just due to sleep deprivation, her eyes now focusing on claws and a dangerously poised posture.

Lilith turned towards Mary, her blazing eyes catching the older woman off guard; Mary swallowed.

“Lilith?”

The former nun closed her eyes and shook her head, her claws retracting as she re-met Mary’s eyes, “What is it?”

Mary refocused her thoughts, remembering her purpose in seeking out her counterpart, “It’s Ava,” she said, watching as Lilith’s eyes widened, waiting for additional details.

“What? What happened?”

“She’s awake.”

Lilith felt her stomach drop at the exact same moment that her heart leapt, the reality of what comes next beginning to take form in her mind.

She nodded, “Alright, let’s go.” Lilith said, then holding out a hand for Mary.

The older woman looked at the offered hand and back to Lilith, taking it slowly before realizing she was being swallowed into darkness.

The darkness quickly turned to dimly lit light as Ava’s room materialized around them.

  
  


~

  
  


Jillian sat at her desk, a growing feeling of dread in her chest as each surfacing video of camera footage was viewed, dating back to days ago.

The man- creature- whatever that thing is, it’s been here for some time, and judging by what Jillian was seeing, it was studying ARQTech.

  
  


Or, rather, it’s newer residents.

  
  


Jillian viewed the last of the camera footage before switching to the live feeds positioned all around ARQTech, flicking through each to view any potential threats or curiosities.

  
  


And boy did she find one.

  
  


Jillian sat stock still as she watched on her computer screen none other than Lilith approach the same being that invaded her thoughts upon viewing the camera footage.

The former nun seemed to be… experimenting, in a sense.

Jillian watched the way the being moved and reacted, noting how it seemed to only react to noises, it’s head twitching every which way to try and pick up on Lilith’s silent movements, only being triggered to react when she wanted it to.

Lilith circled the demonic being, the situation resembling that of predator and prey.

Still, Jillian wondered: which represented which?

Suddenly, the being dropped to its knees, covering its eyes as it faced the body of ARQTech, almost as if it were shielding itself from something.

Something… bright?

Powerful. No doubt.

The being quickly swiped a brief pattern into the air, the land before it turning black before it stepped into the void-like darkness, disappearing from sight completely.

Lilith stood there, outside of ARQTech, still as can be, poised for any sort of emergent threat.

Suddenly, the door to the building swung open, Jillian taking in the image of Mary as she seemed to jostle Lilith out of her defensive headspace.

Having felt as though she’s seen enough of the scene unfolding before her, Jillian clicked through to the camera feeds looping back to the farther end of ARQTech’s periphery, assuring that the property and its inhabitants were safe from potential threat.

  
  


She froze.

Jillian’s hands quickly reached for her phone, fumbling with the touch-screen keypad before the tone sounded in her ear.

“Dr. Salvius, How may I-”

“Lock down the building.”

“I- excuse me-?”

“Lock down the building. I want two guards at every entry and exit point. Nobody comes in or out until my say-so.”

“Y-yes, ma’am. Right away.”

Jillian promptly hung up the phone and set the device down on her desk. She thrummed her fingers against the surface before her eyes traveled back to her computer screen, her heart beginning to increase in pace.

  
  


“Jesus H. Christ.”

She stood quickly and grabbed her phone, grasping it tightly in her fist as she made for the door of her office.

As the room stilled and filled with silence, the computer screen displayed a worrying image: OCS sister warriors armed to the gills.

  
  


And they were marching directly towards ARQTech.

  
  


~

  
  


Apollyon’s chest heaved as he traveled through the void, taken aback by the events that had just transpired.

He was able to hear the sounds of movement, though his eyes were unable to pick up on any type of heat signature whatsoever, leaving him blind to his opponent.

Whatever it was that circled him, studied him: it held power, and it wasn’t even alive. Not in the mortal sense.

What the hell could it be? What was so ancient in nature and power that he, of all creatures, could not see it?

  
  


The light, though. 

The blinding light that outshone everything around him.

The light that damn near blinded him.

The halo was a tremendous sort of power, strong enough to challenge Apollyon in all of his demonic might. 

The unidentifiable energy he encountered, too, garnered strength. A threatening amount of it. 

So much so that Apollyon felt shaken, ever so slightly, at its elusiveness, the demon completely blind to its physical form.

  
  


The void opened up then, Apollyon watching as a dark, dirty room materialized around him, his eyes settling on a familiar figure with which he had made a deal.

“You.” Adriel growled, promptly approaching the kneeling demon, grabbing his marred face roughly, “You disobeyed me, hellish scum.”

Apollyon’s eyes narrowed as he batted away Adriel’s hand, standing swiftly as his hands came up to shove the former angel against his chest, causing him to stagger backwards.

Vincent’s eyes bulged at the boldness of the action, swallowing dryly as he positioned his weapon to point at Apollyon, remembering his promise to aid Adriel in his plan by whatever means necessary.

Adriel’s eyes became sharp, cold, enraged at the shameless show of such a challenge.

"You think you can rebel against me, do you? You think you can challenge me?” he spat, dusting off his clothing as he partialled circled the demon, “You directly defied my instructions, you were on a mission for _me_ , you understand? You’re _my_ servant, you do _my_ bidding!"

Adriel’s voice boomed throughout the hollow space around them, his eyes hard and his breaths shallow as he mustered his following words.

“I cannot wait to punish you accordingly,” he said dangerously, taking a few steps forward to crowd the demon’s space, “To show you your true place, _slave_.”

Apollyon’s stare bore into the fallen angel, his posture rigid, scarlet eyes unforgiving.

Adriel suddenly found himself frozen, unable to move in any way, shape, or form. 

He felt as though a plague of flies hatched inside of his mind, the sounds of buzzing deafening him. The voices followed after that, bloodcurdling screams and shrieks of the damned rang in his ears. 

His pupils contracted to mere pinpoints when he heard the beginnings of every spoken language echo through the chaos in his head, the words like a hot brand on raw flesh.

‘You are but a flea on the back of the vastness of the universe.’ they said, simultaneously screaming and whispering within Adriel’s head.

‘You are nothing. You serve no purpose and no one. You are a worthless trickster chasing mischief across realms.’

Adriel sunk to his knees involuntarily, Apollyon controlling his every movement as he stared down at the angel.

‘I hold the power of gods from eons past. I am everywhere and nowhere. I am Armageddon itself.’

‘ _I_ am _your_ master, and _you_ ,’ he took a couple slow steps forward, narrowing the distance between them only slightly.

The singed word on Apollyon's chest began to glow a bright orange. 

Adriel stood, paralyzed and mentally destroyed, as he felt a heat grow within his belly.

  
  


‘Are my pawn.’

  
  


The embers within him crawled up his abdominal wall, leaving his internal flesh a molten, gorey mess. 

Vincent braced himself against the stack of crates behind him as he watched in horror. His fear grew exponentially realizing that even his master- allegedly indestructible- could be destroyed.

Apollyon watched his terror, pupils swallowing the reds of his scleras as the embers within Adriel traveled up, up, up. His skin bubbled from the heat within, his eyes melting down his foolishly presumed immortal cheeks, bloody and disfigured.

He released Adriel's body once the angel looked nothing of the sort, resembling a grotesque mutation of the worst kind. 

Slowly approaching the body, footsteps soundless, he knelt before him. Apollyon placed a hand behind Adriel's now unrecognizable head, closing his eyes as the body swiftly turned to ash.

He stood, turning to step over the remains, and slowly approached a trembling Vincent, who had now sunk down against the crates.

He placed a finger underneath his chin, forcing his head up; Vincent kept his eyes closed out of fear. 

Apollyon’s pupils promptly contracted to slits as he clenched his concealed jaw, willing Vincent's eyes to open.

Vincent's mind involuntarily tuned into the irrational, buzzing voices.

  
  


‘I am death incarnate,’

Apollyon stood up, his eyes still locked with Vincent's.

  
  


‘And now, you serve me.’

  
  


~

  
  


“Okay, wait, stop,” Ava interjected, “You,” she pointed at Lilith, “Are, like, the first ever? Like the first _ever_ woman on earth?”

Lilith let out a breathy laugh, nodding as the awe solidified onto Ava’s face.

“Whoa,” she whispered, plopping back against the wall of pillows Camila stacked behind her. As soon as Ava had enough strength to sit up on her own, the youngest of their crew insisted on maintaining her comfort as much as possible.

Beatrice smiled lightly at the shine in Ava’s eyes, of which she had missed an inordinate amount in the time that the bearer had been gone.

“Can you believe that’s not even half of what we found out,” Mary said from the corner chair, shaking her head both fondly and in disbelief, “Not even fuckin’ half.”

Ava’s eyebrows rose slightly- not at Mary’s cavalier cursing, but at Camila’s lack of correction, nudging the youngest who leaned against the bed, “No comment?” she murmured.

Camila caught on to the implication in Ava’s voice, her eyes suddenly becoming somber as she looked over to Beatrice on the opposing side, “You should tell her.”

Ava looked between them both, a growing feeling of worry settling within her chest, “Tell me what?” she asked, her eyes coming to fix on Beatrice, squeezing her hand slightly, “Hey, tell me what?”

Beatrice swallowed as she gently swiped the back of Ava’s palm, her eyes coming up to meet the halo bearer’s before delivering the old news.

“We’ve been excommunicated from the church,” she said quietly, Ava’s grip on her hand tightening, “Duretti knew it was us that set off the explosion, there’s nothing else to be done about it.”

“Shit, Bea, I’m so sorry,” Ava said, sitting up on her own to be closer to the former nun, “I know how much that meant to you.”

Beatrice gave her another smile, something positive and implicit lying underneath the expression, “I’ll be alright,” she replied, returning the enduring squeeze Ava had been giving before reaching up and brushing back a loose strand of the bearer’s hair, “I’ve found something bigger to believe in,” she added, her fingers lingering on Ava’s cheek, “... to fight for.”

Ava stared back at her, speechless as she locked the words away in her mind.

  
  


A sharp cough echoed throughout the room, Ava’s eyes quickly darting to Mary, who made to stand.

“Yeah, uh,” Ava blurted, “That fuckin’ blows; Camila, you holding up okay?” she added, trying to mask over the moment just before.

She didn’t see Lilith and Mary exchange a look, Mary stifling a chuckle at the lame attempt to shift attention.

“I- um- yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be fine,” Camila stuttered, unprepared for the eyes on her in that moment, “We have each other so I’m not- I’m not worried about any of that.”

Beatrice’s eyes flickered with affection for the comment, Camila standing true to her declaration of them as a family warming her even further.

Ava exhaled loudly, “Well, shit, keep it coming,” she said, looking to Beatrice and the remaining three, “That’s got to be at least half of what’s happened, what’s the other half?”

Beatrice sighed, “Divinium is virtually unusable, we’ve discovered,” she said, Ava’s brow creasing with confusion, “We learned that Adriel… how did you put it, Lilith?”

Mary looked to the side, nudging the raven-haired woman to get her attention, “Lilith.”

She shook her head, clearing her mind of the thoughts currently plaguing it, “Sorry, what?”

Beatrice’s eyes flickered with something unreadable momentarily, “What was it that you discovered Adriel did with the divinium?”  
  
“Oh,” Lilith replied, “He had taken some part of himself, likely blood, during the formation of his armor and sword,” she said, her eyes coming to meet Ava’s, “It allowed him to see wherever divinium was, so long as the halo bearer was near it, activating it,” she added, Ava’s eyes narrowing in an attempt to understand, “He used it to spy on us, likely for as long as we’ve been using divinium.”

Ava’s eyes widened once the explanation concluded, her jaw dropping slightly as she slumped back against the bed, “Fuck, dude,” she said, her free hand coming up to drag down her face, “Well what the hell are we gonna use? It’s not like steel can withstand the heat of Hell.”

“Actually,” Camila chirped, a smile forming on her lips, “We _did_ find something that could work,” she added, leaning in to nonchalantly whisper the nugget of information to Ava, “The same metal the Greek gods used.”

Ava’s eyes bulged from her head as her jaw dropped further, “No freaking way,” she said, Camila nodding as she let a giggle escape her, “No _freaking_ way!” she added excitedly, playfully nudging Camila’s shoulder, “That’s so fucking cool, that’s _so_ cool, Camila, you genius!”

The youngest ducked her head as she smiled, shaking her head, “I wouldn’t have found it without Beatrice’s insistence at researching, it was her idea.”

Ava’s smile didn’t falter when her gaze shifted to Beatrice, visibly wiggling her toes under the bedsheets excitedly, “What did you study, what did you find, and give me the details.”

Beatrice’s expression faltered slightly, not wanting to dull the moment of joy they’ve created in this bubble, “Later, I promise,” she said, giving a quick smile, “Please.”

Ava’s eyebrows creased slightly, picking up on the gravity of the topic and nodding, “Okay, no biggie, later,” she said, running her thumb against the back of Beatrice’s palm, exhaling, “Well, I can tell you about what I did while I was gone.”

Everyone nodded, Mary making her way back over to one of the corner chairs with Lilith in tow.  
  


“Okay, well, I wasn’t fully dead, but I was damn near it and that kinda knocked me into… some kind of spirit world, I think it was _in_ the halo maybe but I’m not sure,” she started, collecting her thoughts, “It was weird at first; there was nothing. I mean _nothing_ , not even a definite floor beneath me, just black.”

“At some point, Cat’s Cradle, like, materialized or something,” Ava recalled, the look in her eyes shifting as she remembered the memory that reached her shortly after arriving at the OCS compound, “I chilled there for a few days before Shannon showed up and showed me around,” she said, glancing over at Mary, momentarily meeting her eyes before moving her gaze to the hand approaching hers from the chair beside her.

“She kept me grounded, to say the least… as grounded as I could have been as a soul,” Ava continued, noting to herself to keep some of the finer details private, for another time.

“She helped me see, both literally and figuratively- I actually met some other warrior nuns from, like, _way_ back, it was intense,” she added, looking to Beatrice and meeting her eyes, “I met Sister Melanie, too.”

Beatrice’s eyes flickered as she gave Ava’s hand a squeeze.

Ava returned the gesture, not breaking their connected gaze as she leaned forward, “We’re not too different from some of them, I realized,” she said softly, smiling lightly at the slight hitch in Beatrice’s breath. 

Mary glanced to the side, her eyes meeting Lilith’s as they both immediately picked up on the meaning behind the halo bearer’s words.

Camila, ever so astute, didn’t fully comprehend what Ava meant, “Not too different how?”

Ava turned to Camila, her mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

“I’ll explain later,” Lilith interjected, standing to come meet Camila at her side, placing a hand on her shoulder, leaning down to whisper, “It’s a bit complicated.”

Camila’s brow creased as she looked to Lilith, Ava, then Lilith again, giving a slow nod as she leaned back in her own chair.

Ava licked her lips and nodded resolutely, “Yeah that’s, uh, that’s about it; the broad strokes at least,” she said, looking back to Beatrice before her gaze fanned the rest of the women around her.

  
  


“What now?”

  
  


~

  
  


The clicking of Jillian’s heels were amplified in her ears as she marched down the hallway, her destination known and the words on the tip of her tongue.

She ignored the patterned vibration in her pants pocket, knowing whoever was trying to reach her was just going to have to goddamn wait.

Her feet carried her to a door marked with a number that might as well be burned into her brain at this point, the patient in her care being one of the most important in her entire career.

Jillian blinked, forming her thoughts with the last bit of sanity she had.

  
  


She swallowed, raising a fist, and knocked on Ava’s door.

  
  


~

  
  


Mary stood at the sound ringing throughout the room, making her way to the door.

As it swung open, her eyes were met with a rattled looking Jillian, her expression grim.

“Uh, what’s up?” Mary asked.

“It’s the OCS,” Jillian started, Mary’s gaze beginning to drill into her at the mention, “They’re on their way here.”

Mary clenched her jaw, thinking, “How much time do we have?”

Jillian shook her head, “No more than ten minutes.”

Mary closed her eyes, and dropped her head, “Fuck.”

Beatrice came up behind her, her eyes hard, “What’s going on?” she asked lowly, her gaze darting between the two women.

Mary turned and pushed past Beatrice, coming to stand in the middle of the room as she tapped her heel against the antiseptic floor, “The OCS are coming.”

The additional women stilled.

  
  


“They’re coming for the halo.”

Moments after Mary’s admittance, Jillian’s phone vibrated again, the scientist exasperatedly retrieving the device as she clicked the lock button, getting a preview of the text that came through.

  
  


**Coming in hot, T-minus ten minutes.**

Jillian stilled.

“I have an idea.”

  
  


Each of the women turned to look at the scientist, who was now tapping her phone before putting it up to her ear.

“Well?” Mary said impatiently, Jillian holding up a finger as the person on the other end picked up.

  
  


“Calliope? Yes, I saw your text; listen,” she said, turning to meet Mary’s curious gaze.

  
  


“I need your help with something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHO WHA. T WHEN WHERE. WHY. WHAT? THERE'S SO MUCH HAPPENING (and im so fUcking excited for yall to see what comes next in the second half of the season after the HIATUS so bear with me!!) who tf is calliope??? what does comin in hot mean. what does this MEAN? drop a comment and a kudos, lemme know what youre thinking!! mwah!!


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